Ladies and gentlemen, presented above, I give you the creepiest item I have found on eBay to date.

I am sure there is worse out there, and that this just scratches the surface. I don’t even want to know what lays below that surface.

While the whole point of this piece is to venture into the abyss, buying a dead man’s hair just seems a tad too far. I didn’t even know hair could last that long. The government must have made some special technology for Elvis to make hair last forever and they are waiting to tell the rest of us common folk about it. While this likely isn’t the weirdest thing you can buy online, I think that anyone who buys it should probably be put on a CIA Watch List just in case.

Yet, I continue on, searching for eBay’s weirdest, creepiest, and sometimes coolest pieces of movie memorabilia. With the exception of the above item, this week was a surprisingly low key week. There were even a few people who were honest about the items they were selling. But that doesn’t mean that they still won’t try and overcharge you.

Once again, come down the rabbit hole with me for this week’s roundup of movie memorabilia on eBay:

The Blues Brothers

I kind of want to own this. The part where Ray Charles hangs this sign up upside down is my favorite blind joke in any movie I’ve ever seen.

Braveheart

Hopefully, it comes with a certificate notifying you that this costume, like everything else in “Braveheart,” is probably historically inaccurate.

Demolition Man

AMC played “Demolition Man” this past weekend. I only saw part of it and the sound wasn’t on, but somehow that made it even better. First, it’s Stallone vs. Snipes. Second, it begins with Stallone being unfrozen in the future to take down a bad guy. I now know exactly what “Austin Powers” was making fun of.

Inglourious Basterds

This fake brand of cigarettes is unique to the Tarantino universe, and has been featured in many of his films. I feel like taking this pack out will rip some hole in the Tarantino Universe space-time continuum. This new universe could have dire consequences. Hitler wasn’t murdered by the Bear Jew. Marsellus Wallace didn’t get medieval on their asses. “Death Proof” was actually good. Okay, I could live with the last one.

Rocky

They circled the little rips. That is just wonderful. Seriously. Nobody could have done that on their own to replicate it. I also enjoy that they indicate that the photo is ripped, yet still expect somebody to pay $990 for it. At least they’re honest about it. Finally, somebody on eBay has some integrity.

Rounders

I love that the different chips cost different prices. The $100 poker chip is more expensive than the $25 poker chip. Seriously, I love that. Yet another person on eBay actually tries to display some degree of integrity.

Saw 3D

“ONE OF A KIND!!” That is where it all went wrong. Sure, it’s one of a kind as in, it’s the only one of Hoffman’s cell phones that exists. But come on, it’s not even a cool phone. It’s a flip phone. James Dean’s red jacket from “Rebel Without a Cause” is one of a kind. Even Gordon Gekko’ gigantic cell phone from “Wall Street” is cooler than this. A flip phone is now something that drug dealers use.

Spider-Man

There’s nothing wrong with selling the lab coat of a minor character. But it seems kind of, well, odd to sell it with the accompanying image of that man being murdered. Just a thought.

Straight to Hell

Shut up everybody! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You’re telling me there is a movie that was made where Joe Strummer, Dennis Hopper, Jim Jarmusch, and Elvis Costello play bank robbers? Take your fake money back, I’m going to watch this right now.

The Ten Commandments

I think this is the best opportunity that I will get to post my favorite joke from “History of the World: Part I.”