Here we are again, in another rough and tumble neighborhood where everybody steals from each other, and nobody ever gets out. We have heard this story before and it can basically take place anywhere because, well, America is filled with a lot of crappy places.

The Drop is a slick and entertaining, yet typical, crime thriller. Boston writer Dennis Lehane takes his talents to the streets of Brooklyn. Bob (Tom Hardy) works at a bar that criminals from all walks of life use as a “drop bar.” This is a place where money constantly changes hands. Or that is what I think. There’s a lot of accents in play here.

Bob works for his Cousin Marv (James Gandolfini), who I call Cousin Marv because everybody calls him Cousin Marv. Bob constantly finds himself in the middle of several robberies and murders. Many of these involve severed body parts.

The Drop builds itself on a strong foundation. Everybody in this neighborhood knows each other. The history of friends and family is strongly detailed, which lets us know that this world existed before this film, and it will exist for a long time afterwards. We are watching what was once a thriving place now in a period of decline.

Unfortunately, the story of The Drop is weak and its message is often handled in a heavy-handed way. It reminds me most of The Town, another memorable if conventional crime drama. However, The Town has much more forward momentum. The Drop often gets stuck on a lot of little things that it doesn’t quite deliver on.

What manages to elevate The Drop is a few stunning performances. This is James Gandolfini’s last film ever. It pains me to write this sentence. He was overly qualified for this role, and he makes a lot out of a little. As always, he dominates every moment of screen time that he gets. It was nice to get one last taste of Tony Soprano. The true standout here, though, is Tom Hardy. Beyond the rough edges, he shows off a clear sensitive side. I have always known that Tom Hardy was talented, but this is probably the most lovable character he has ever played. I looked at him and all I could think of was Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront. Hell, they even share a similar jacket.

The Drop is worth watching. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it never tries to. It tells a conventional story well. I just wish it slowed down and let us understand it a little better sometimes.

Brain Farts From The Edge

• That puppy. This picture.
• There’s a lot of sports small talk in The Drop. Come on Lehane, New Yorkers talk about other things beside the Jets score. Or do they?
• This film has some award worthy cinematography. Lots of great colors. Awesome first shot. The Manhattan Bridge gets overshadowed by the Brooklyn Bridge, but
• The Drop showed a community of Brooklyn that nobody really talks about anymore. I feel like all we hear about now is gentrification.
• Speaking of which, imagine if The Drop was set in Park Slope or Williamsburg. Noomi Rapace would wear Lululemon. The drop bar would be a cupcake shop. One thing they did stay true to in the film…lots of dudes with beards.

Well, better late than never.

It took me well over a year, but I was finally able to finish The Sopranos, a show in which I am only seven years late to. The Sopranos is truly a marvel of a show which lives up to all of the hype. What I never expected was how funny and philosophical a show about the New Jersey mafia could be.

While I wish I watched The Sopranos when it was actually on the air, seeing it years later is fascinating. First, I binge watched a show that was made before binge watching was even invented. Second, The Sopranos perfectly encapsulates the 2000s, and it is interesting to see how much the show shifted after 9/11. Third, my Sopranos experience felt akin to Boyhood: we get to grow up with these characters, and watch them change and mature on screen.

Here is a scattered collection of thoughts on The Sopranos (Note: Do not read this unless you have seen every f***ing Sopranos episode ever):

Best Episode: It’s the textbook example, but I am going to have to go with “College,” the episode in which Tony takes Meadow to look at schools in Maine. While there, he must decide whether or not to whack somebody. From there, the entire tone of the show was established. Without “College,” there would be no Sopranos.

Meadow’s Worst Boyfriend: They were all pretty terrible. Noah was annoying (Note: I definitely dislike him for different reasons than Tony did). Jackie was a degenerate. I would have to say that Finn was the worst of them. I don’t know how to describe it. There was just something about his face.

Most Horrible Moment: The first time Adriana went to meet with the Feds, it seemed like nothing but trouble. After about two seasons of buildup, the jig was finally up. Poor Adriana meets her fate desperately crawling through the woods. But as the old saying goes, “never try and outrun a member of the E Street Band.” If Twitter had existed then, the top trending topic that night would have been #RIPAdriana.

Best Antagonist: In any other show, Tony might have been considered the villain. The Sopranos is less about villains and more about antagonists. Phil Leotardo might be an easy pick, but I pity him. When your last name gets changed from Leonardo to Leotardo at Ellis Island, you’re pretty much screwed from the start. That is why I am going to go with Ralphie Cifaretto, a man who once beat a stripper to death with his bare hands. Ralphie was a very secretive sociopath with a very weird sex life. The difference between Ralphie and Tony is that Tony actually has some semblance of a soul. Leave it to The Sopranos though: the one time Ralphie seemed at all sympathetic was just an episode or two before he was strangled to death.

Biggest Flaw: A lot of people didn’t like the therapy stuff, but the funny and sometimes threatening relationship between Tony and Doctor Melfi formed the intellectual backbone of the show. What often bothered me were extended dream sequences. Sure, they could set the show apart. However, an entire episode filled with dreams (such as season five’s “The Test Dream”) would feel more muddled than intoxicating.

Funniest Episode: The Sopranos might have ushered in the era of the gritty cable drama, but it also had an amazing mix of comedy, something that, say, The Leftovers could use. The best example of the show’s black comedy is the episode “Pine Barrens,” in which Christopher and Paulie get lost in the wild of New Jersey. Their chemistry was always toxic, and watching the two of them fight a renegade Russian is endlessly entertaining.

Funniest Moment: In “The Strong, Silent Type,” Christopher sitting on a dog’s head manages to be the second funniest part of the episode.* The funniest is the ensuing intervention, which ends with everybody beating up Christopher instead of helping him. Leave it to David Chase to make rock bottom this funny.

Funniest Death: There were many funny deaths on this show, but nothing beats Phil Leotardo getting his head squashed by a renegade SUV.

James Gandolfini: He deserves every bit of praise he has ever gotten for his performance as Tony Soprano. David Chase created an incredible character, but Gandolfini made him come alive. Tony is a man of many faces: psychopath, sociopath, class clown, and father. Parts of Tony are evil, and parts of him are good. He is the kind of man who could terrify you one minute, and make you laugh the next because he’s wearing sausages around his neck. If you thought of Tony Soprano purely as a monster by the time the finale rolled around, then you were probably watching the wrong show.

New Jersey: The idea of New York being a character in a movie has become so trite that an entire movie was made making fun of this notion. New York’s neighbor has some character as well, and it’s not too ridiculous to point out how important New Jersey is to the story of The Sopranos. In the eyes of Phil Leotardo, The Soprano crew is seen as this sort of second rate crew that is making a mockery of the entire mafia tradition. Now, New Jersey has gotten a bad reputation, and organized crime certainly hasn’t helped. However, The Sopranos has. That stretch of the Jersey Turnpike going through Newark, Elizabeth, and the Meadowlands is usually associated with a foul odor. Now, when I drive through there, I feel like Tony Soprano, smoking a cigar while “Woke Up This Morning” plays. Now, some savior from Connecticut should find a way to make that stretch of I-95 going through Bridgeport seem as cool.

Italian: The Sopranos was often accused of perpetuating Italian-American stereotypes. That statement is either wrong, or just half right. The Sopranos is largely about trying to keep your heritage alive while at the same time, struggling to fit into the modern world. If Italian-American stereotypes include mobsters, thick accents, and gabagool, then The Sopranos is chock full of them. However, The Sopranos needs those stereotypes, as it is ultimately about embracing yourself. This could also apply to anybody of any ethnic background. So yes, next time I go to a deli, I’ll take a Pastrami on Rye (cholesterol be damned).

America: In The Sopranos, New Jersey is a perfect stand-in for America as a whole. It is a diverse and constantly changing organism placed in a very small package. The Sopranos is TV’s first Great American Novel. Like every Great American Novel, The Sopranos is a meditation on the American Dream. People come to America in search of opportunity and sometimes, it doesn’t work out. Other times, you have to sacrifice everything you stand for to gain stability. Other times, you have to sell part of the old neighborhood to Jamba Juice in order to get by.

*I don’t find dog death funny, but this particular one is for how hard Christopher tries to defend himself (“she must have crawled under me for warmth”/”I didn’t kill her, I must’ve sat on her!”).

That is what I am here for.

In this new feature, I will offer brief reviews on whatever films I watched on recent flights and decide whether it is good on a plane, better in real life, or both. Will it distract you from the snoring stranger to your right? Can noise canceling headphones do it justice?

On two long flights in which I had to cross the Atlantic Ocean, I watched Enough Said, Frozen, The Counselor, and Inside Llewyn Davis. Here is what you should or should not watch en route to your next destination:

Enough Said

This charming indie romantic comedy from Nicole Holofcener finds Julia Louis-Dreyfus as a divorcee who falls in love with a new man (James Gandolfini) who happens to be the ex-husband of her new friend (Catherine Keener). Enough Said is not the kind of film you see if you want your life changed; it is just what you watch when you want to see a bunch of people shoot the shit for 90 minutes with the help of some well-written dialogue. It definitely doesn’t hurt that Julia Louis-Dreyfus in general can do no wrong. Also worth seeing for a great performance by the late, great James Gandolfini, who proves that he can play gentle just as well as he can play intimidating.

Is it an airplane movie: Yes. It’s light, funny, and it doesn’t make you hate humanity at all.

Frozen

After months of hype and thousands of Adele Dazeem jokes, I finally sat down to watch Frozen. Even with high expectations, it did not disappoint at all. Frozen definitely belongs in the Disney Hall of Fame, and it is the best animated feature that the studio has done outside of Pixar since Mulan. During the instant classic “Let It Go,” I felt an instinctual need to start applauding. Then, I turned around and realized I was on an airplane where people don’t clap until the plane has landed.

Is it an airplane movie: No. Watch it on the biggest screen you can find, with you volume turned up as high as possible. Noise canceling headphones are a myth, just like the dinosaurs.

The Counselor

Cameron Diaz has sex with a car. Javier Bardem acts like a more eloquent Tommy Wiseau crossed with Hunter S. Thompson. There are cheetahs. There are beheadings. There is no way The Counselor isn’t a future cult classic. When it came out in October, The Counselor had high expectations. After all, this was a film written by Cormac McCarthy and directed by Ridley Scott. Honestly, I am not quite sure what to make of the finished product. The Counselor is like the Schrodinger’s Cat of movies: it is both awful and awesome simultaneously. Some of the dialogue is marvelous, and some of the scenes toy with your emotions in ways that I could never imagine. Yet, the story makes absolutely no sense. What separates The Counselor from No Country for Old Men is sense of motivation. Also, No Country only had to say “you can’t stop what’s coming” once in order for us to get it. The Counselor jams it down our throats. Sometimes, the messiness works in its favor. Other times, you just want to know why everybody wants to kill Michael Fassbender. Also, I just want to know who Fassbender’s dialect coach was. Anyway, The Counselor may be a disaster, but it is one that I couldn’t take my eyes off of.

Is it an airplane movie: Yes. If you love it (which I think I did?), then it will take up two good hours. If you hate it, then you can just turn it off and jump out through the emergency exit.

Inside Llewyn Davis

I have already seen Inside Llewyn Davis, which you all know because I haven’t been able to shut up about it for the past few months. I decided to put it on while flying because I was tired and wanted something to lull me to sleep. I am not saying that Inside Llewyn Davis is boring. What I am saying is that it has become so comforting and familiar to me at this point that I can watch it at anytime and in any place.

Is it an airplane movie: It would be more effective to hold a screening of it on the front lawn of every Oscar voter to let them know what they missed.