WE BOW DOWN TO YOU NOW. Image via Hitfix

As Rob Reiner says in The Wolf of Wall Street (nobody else in the history of humanity has said this): the chickens have finally come to roost, as a secret hidden in plain sight finally poked its ugly head out in full force.

Earlier this week, more women came out to say that they were raped by Bill Cosby. As a result of the mounting allegations, Netflix delayed the release of Cosby’s upcoming comedy special. and NBC completely dropped a planned Cosby sitcom.

In a very short amount of time, Cosby has gone from America’s TV dad, to something of a monster. To say his image is damaged beyond repair might be an understatement. Now, I see Cosby less as an inspiration and more like a condescending, power hungry butt wipe. It is a sad truth that public figures who seem outwardly kind can host a dark side. Right now, we are witnessing a real life version of Gone Girl unfold.

It is important to remember that celebrities are always putting on some sort of an act, both on and off camera. It’s just something they have to do. But don’t worry, we can still trust our idols. Since we don’t have Cosby anymore, here is a list of some other celebrities that are still good role models.

Dudes

Steve Carell

This whole Cosby ordeal is making me think that the idea of any entertainer being a completely normal family man is a carefully constructed public persona. But until we hear otherwise, and until our collective innocence is completely shattered, Carell is nothing but an incredibly nice and genuine family man.

Louis C.K.

Louis C.K. is a divorced parent who has used the n-word in his routine before, yet I could think of no better role model. Outside of his work, Louis doesn’t seem to do much besides raise his daughters. He is on his way to becoming a Comedy Buddha, with a philosophy that emphasizes hard work, concentration, and persistence.

Seth Rogen

It just hit me now that it is amazing how much Seth Rogen does. He starred in a hit movie this summer (Neighbors) and he has another potential huge hit on the way (The Interview). He is also a strong advocate for good causes such as Alzheimer’s research and awareness. He also does most of this while high. Basically, you can smoke  a lot of weed and still be a productive member of society.

Stephen Colbert

I don’t think that anybody’s moral being should be judged based on whether or not they believe in a higher power. However, there is something kind of refreshing about seeing a comedian who is open about his beliefs. Colbert is a proud Catholic, something that doesn’t normally seem to go hand-in-hand with comic genius. It just goes to show that you don’t have to be Ricky Gervais, screaming at the top of your lungs about Atheism, in order to be funny.

Russell Crowe

Have you checked out his Tweets? The dude loves to exercise! America has an obesity problem! Keep on Tweeting your ridiculously detailed workout routines, Russell Crowe, no matter how much people like me will make fun of you for it.

Ladies

Lena Dunham

No, Lena Dunham did not molest her sister and no, this is not up for discussion. Dunham is an inspiration for guys and girls everywhere. Everything she does is about learning to be comfortable in your own skin. She might share too much about herself sometimes but hey, at least she has nothing to hide.

Tina Fey

In Bossypants, Fey describes working all those late nights in the 30 Rock writer’s room while somehow managing to take care of her family. That is two ultra full time jobs at once. Guess I have no excuses anymore.

Amy Poehler

Like Fey, Poehler is a gifted multi-tasker. Along with starring in one of the most beloved shows on television right now (Parks and Recreation), she also helped bring Broad City to the airwaves and she has a stake in Smart Girls. It also helps that she is filled with valuable life lessons that never seem like condescending lectures.

Taylor Swift

I have warmed up to Taylor Swift a lot this year. Maybe it’s because she’s so ubiquitous now, or maybe it just took me this long to realize how talented she is. Shake It Off is the perfect anthem for anybody who has ever spent time in a website’s comment section. Screw the haters. This song was definitely stuck in your head until Too Many Cooks came along.

Kim Kardashian

HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE! Kim Kardashian is the American Dream incarnate. She proves that you can do literally nothing and still make millions of dollars. She’s the perfect role model for all the lazy people out there.

[Just Google "Kim Kardashian Paper Magazine" or whatever. I give up.]

Couldn’t have said it better myself, Bill. Image via Washington Times

So here we are again: it turns out that another much loved celebrity is actually a huge jerk.

This time, it’s America’s sweetheart Bill Cosby. The case against Cosby is equal parts strange and sickening. Once the most beloved sitcom dad on television, Cosby’s reputation has recently taken a hit as several rape allegations have been fired against him. The strange part is that these allegations have been public for almost thirty years, yet I didn’t find out about it until recently. Somehow, he found a really good publicist who managed to sweep all this dirt under the rug. Apparently, they didn’t do a thorough enough job cleaning.

Thanks to the power of the internet, no crime can ever be forgotten. Recently, Bill Cosby’s Twitter page asked fans to “meme” him. I am assuming that whoever runs Cosby’s social media is a 90-year-old man who lives in Palm Beach with a very loose grasp of how the internet works. Anyway, that person is probably fired now, given that people shot back with a series of memes that all referenced Cosby’s rape allegations. It was a darkly funny way to bring an important issue to light. It also reminded that despite all the anti-Semites, racists, and misogynists, internet democracy is an amazing thing and worth fighting for.

Since the memes surfaced, the Washington Post published a must-read account from a victim. A few days later, Cosby went on NPR and was given the chance to defend himself. Instead, he refused, and the reporter had to keep explaining that Cosby was shaking his head no. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to try and gain public sympathy.

First off, let’s drop the word “alleged” from now on. While Cosby has never been found guilty, there is enough evidence against him in the court of Twitter to find him guilty. That’s right: grab your torch and pitchforks! It’s time for a good old fashioned celebrity witch hunt! But actually, to discount the case against him at this point is to bring in the nasty game of victim shaming.

Now, this is especially difficult because of Cosby’s reputation. This is Cliff Huxtable we’re talking about. Thinking of him as America’s most beloved TV dad now feels downright gross. It is always difficult to separate actors from their public personas. Here, it is even tougher. This can relate to many similar dilemmas. And no, I will talk about the recent Lena Dunham controversy. I have read the passage in question, and using it to link her to child molestation is downright insane. The conservative blog that accused her of this should be ashamed. And so should I. I will now give myself 50 lashes for voting for a Republican this past election day.

It might seem a bit more fitting to compare Cosby to Woody Allen. Woody Allen was accused of molesting his stepdaughter in 1993. The case resurfaced earlier this year. Many people said they would never watch one of his movies again. It is an understandable reaction, and I thought about doing the same. Yet, I watched Stardust Memories a few weeks ago, and still enjoyed it. I just have this feeling that watching a Cosby Show rerun is going to feel weird now. This is not to say that one person committed a worse crime than the other (both are heinous), but instead to say that this shows the difference between artist and human says a lot.

Both Allen and Cosby are loosely autobiographical comedians. What we see of them onscreen is therefore very close to how they could be in real life. Yet, in reality, we know nothing, Jon Snow. Cosby, both on and off screen, has tried to be a role model. He has spoken about how important education is, and how evil swearing is. Because Cosby has painted himself to be such a saint, his past crimes seem all the worse. While Woody Allen might use his art to make fun of himself, Cosby uses his art to deify himself. It is as if his comedic integrity is now being called into question. There are a lot of artists who have done terrible things, but it is very possible that you can be forgiven if you don’t go around lecturing people all the time.

In this episode of the podcast, I remain hopeful about the future of Mulaney, praise Gone Girl, and defend Lena Dunham. Still not sponsored by Stamps.com

Note: I accidentally attached the wrong episode before. It’s been fixed.

Band of misfits. Image via Business Insider

Okay, so being negative about awards is fun. But I got that out of my system yesterday. So today, it is time to be nice.

Luckily, there is a lot to be nice about, because Emmy voters did a pretty good job this year. They didn’t do the best that they could have. On that note, can somebody please photoshop a picture of Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer holding Emmys?

Anyway, if you look close enough at the nominations, you will see that this year’s lineup does as good a job as possible at reflecting the incredibly diverse array of programming that makes up the current golden age of television that we are living in.

For this, I have decided not to include shows like Game of Thrones, Louie, or Breaking Bad. While their inclusion makes me happy, their nominations were foregone conclusions. So instead, let’s focus on some of the people and shows that might not have expected to heard their names called yesterday morning:

Adam Driver (Girls)

In a sometimes inconsistent season of Girls, Adam Driver was the most consistently good part about it. While his character is incredibly unpredictable, you know that (most of the time) he does things because he actually believes in them. Even if you hate Lena Dunham, he makes the show worth sticking around for. With Inside Llewyn Davis last year and Star Wars down the road, Adam Driver is about to explode. We don’t even know what we are in for.

Fargo

I haven’t finished Fargo yet (I have just one episode left), but that has been enough to tell me that this is one of the most unique new shows on television. Given that this is a miniseries, we will have to see if we get anymore of it (or, for that matter, if any one of these characters will make it out alive). Fargo is a pitch perfect black comedy that manages to be the best imitation of the Coen Brothers I have ever seen. Among the many great things about it, there is a tracking shot in it that rivals the much more well known one from True Detective, as well as incredible performances from the likes of Billy Bob Thornton and Allison Tolman.

Kate McKinnon (Saturday Night Live)

Kate McKinnon is not the first SNL performer to be nominated for acting. However, this occurrence is few and far between, and you have to be really good to bring what are supposed to be two dimensional characters to life. McKinnon can do everything from flawless impressions (some of the best include Justin Bieber and Jemima Kirke) to original characters (Olya the Russian Villager). She is the show’s current answer to Kristen Wiig. And like Wiig, McKinnon will find success in her career long after she leaves Studio 8H in Rockefeller Center.

Key & Peele

There’s a lot of weird, yet awesome, sketch comedy happening on TV right now (see: Kroll Show, Comedy Bang! Bang!). Key & Peele does the typical sketch comedy formula well while maintaining its own unique voice. They can execute simple ideas like The East/West Bowl as well as odd ones like Mr. T PSAs. While it didn’t get the nomination for Best Variety Show, a nod for writing is nothing to complain about, even if it doesn’t quite acknowledge the visual genius and directing choices of the show.

Silicon Valley

Sometimes, it is hard for a freshman show to get much attention, but Silicon Valley knew exactly what it wanted to be from the beginning. Silicon Valley is the satire of the modern tech world that I didn’t know we needed at this moment. It has a perfect ensemble that helped bring perhaps the greatest dick joke in the history of television to life. While its cast members were unfortunately overlooked by voters (especially Thomas Middleditch and the late Christopher Evan Welch), it always makes me happy to see Mike Judge get rewarded, given that many of his past projects were overlooked upon initial release.