I found this on Twitter. I am really sorry I can’t provide proper accreditation but whoever did this, you freaking rock.

The cinema lover’s Christmas happened last night. And now it’s time to go back and talk about normal stuff like The Muppet and upcoming Wes Anderson films.

For a year that seemed to be incredibly unpredictable, the Oscar winners sure were predictable. As expected, 12 Years a Slave took home the top prize while Alfonso Cuaron was crowned the best director in all the land. This happened to be a really good year for film, so none of the winners were exactly infuriating. The only really upsetting thing was that I had to listen to Bono sing instead of Oscar Isaac. And there’s plenty of more Bono ranting where that came from!

This year’s Oscar ceremony was overlong, indulgent, and only funny in small portions. Which is to say it was just like any other year. Read on to find out what I liked, what I didn’t like, and what I wasn’t sure if I should love or hate, during this year’s Academy Awards:

What I Liked

Matthew McConaughey’s Speech- I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that I had to root against Leo in order to win my Oscar pool, but it was worth it to see McConaughey’s fantastic acceptance speech. It got only a little bit weird when he basically said he worships himself. But that is not surprising coming from the guy who is shirtless most of the time he is in public. The seemingly genuine way in which he views luck and family is exactly the way that a sane person should view celebrity, and it shows that there is much more to this man than the lovable stoner we all thought we knew. McConaughey then talked about how his constant path for self-improvement. Then, he ended up his speech by saying “alright, alright, alright.” Well, Rust Cohle was right: time really is a flat circle. While McConaughey will become a better and better actor, deep down he will always be Wooderson.

U2 Didn’t Win an Oscar- I have not seen Frozen yet, but I am assuming that it is a good thing that Robert Lopez became an EGOT before Bono did.

Oscar Winner Spike Jonze- Oscar Winner Spike Jonze. It has a nice ring to it. I have been a fan of this guy since I was in eighth grade. I wasn’t sure what would happen to Jonze after the disappointment of Where the Wild Things Are. But with Her, Jonze showed that he could didn’t need a Charlie Kaufman script to make something wonderful (though I would love to see them reunite again in the near future). Oscar Winner Spike Jonze.

Cate Blanchett- So everybody expected her to win. That does not mean that she wasn’t actually deserving of the award. Her performance in Blue Jasmine is the best thing since sliced bread gave a really good performance in that one movie.

Bill Murray Pays Tribute to an Old Friend- In one of the nights most pleasant surprises, Bill Murray, who was presenting the award for Best Cinematography, threw Harold Ramis’ name onto the list. Ramis passed away this past week. The two of them had a falling out and had not worked together since Groundhog Day. It was a quick yet moving impromptu shout out. In one little moment, an entire feud was possibly solved. There were many more movies that Murray could have listed besides Caddyshack, Ghostbusters, and Groundhog Day, but he is Bill Murray so he gets to do whatever the hell he wants.

What I Didn’t Like

Ellen DeGeneres- Besides that awesome selfie, Ellen DeGeneres was a let down as this year’s host. The best her writers could do was a gag where they brought pizzas out to the audience, which would have been way better if a) Brad Pitt smeared his slice all over his Macklemore haircut or b) somebody had to refuse because they are lactose intolerant. Ellen loves to dance but she never got to. During most of the show, it just seemed like Ellen was in the middle of telling jokes that were predictable and uninspired to begin with (not to brag or anything, because this is not something to brag about, but I totally predicted that Jonah Hill/prosthetic penis joke). There are so many young and bold hosts they could get for next year. Jimmy Fallon. John Mulaney. Amy Schumer. Or if you want a safe bet: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.

The Show- This was one of the most poorly produced Oscar shows that I have seen in my lifetime. “Half-assed” might be the nicest thing to say about it. The “Hollywood Heroes” theme was inconsistent and inexplicable. The fact that they showed more footage from Man of Steel than Inside Llewyn Davis is all you need to know about how I felt about the Oscars this year. Unfortunate, given that 2013 was a fantastic year for film.

Jared Leto (The Non-Actor Human)- Hey Jared. I can call you Jared, right? Do you prefer Jar-Bear? Or Girlie Jesus? Anyway, you were great in Dallas Buyers Club, and your win was well deserved. You have also been making great choices for years, from Fight Club to Requiem for a Dream to American Psycho. Wow. Those are some of my favorite films of all time. You can act; nobody denies that. However, you just find new ways to make me hate you as a person every single day. There are very few times where it doesn’t look like you’re thinking to yourself “hey girl, I am awesome” like some d-bag version of Ryan Gosling. And then you just had to be that guy who brought up the Ukraine in his acceptance speech. I thought Bono would be the first one to say that. Yes, the people protesting in Kiev are dreamers, but they are not dreaming of winning statutes shaped like naked gold dudes. If you want to be the man filled with zen inspiration, then start acting more like Matthew McConaughey and less like a rejected Entourage character. 

The Act of Killing Loses- I am sure that 20 Feet from Stardom is good and all, but it is not The Act of Killing, a documentary that is by far one of the most important films so far this decade. I guess the Oscars saw 12 Years a Slave and thought that they had honored enough brutally honest depictions of history for one lifetime. Sure, Darlene Love sang, and it was nice and everyone was happy about it. However, who knows what song Anwar Congo would have belted out on stage if only The Act of Killing had won.

How Do I Feel About This?

Kim Novak- Come on, guys. She’s 81-years-old. Lay off on the jokes about her frozen face and all of that. And if you are wondering who Kim Novak is, she starred in Vertigo. And she used to do respectable things like make out with Jimmy Stewart.

Leo Doesn’t Win- Like Leo really cares. At the end of the day, he’s still Leonardo DiCaprio.

What I found when I Googled “Oscars Drinking.”

Now that I am 21, I am officially old enough to condone drinking. It’s about time.

Nothing improves an American past time quiet like alcohol. Since tonight’s Oscars could go on for over four hours, drinking would definitely help make the show go by faster. Given the predictable nature of awards shows and Hollywood celebrities in general, a fun drinking game isn’t hard to come up with.

Here is The Reel Deal’s official drinking game for the 2014 Academy Awards. For even more alcoholic fun, check out the last one I put together back in 2012. In order to win The Reel Deal Oscars 2014 Drinking Game, you must drink every time:

• Somebody thanks their manager in their speech.
• Somebody thanks their agent in their speech.
• Somebody goes over the time limit while making their speech.
• Somebody makes a joke about Meryl Streep.
• The camera pans over to Meryl Streep, and she looks absolutely charming.
• There is a montage about old movies to fill time.
• Somebody makes a joke about how it is raining in LA.
• A winner tells their children to “go to bed” in their speech.
• Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t win.
• Somebody makes a joke about quaaludes.
• Jack Nicholson is in the audience wearing sunglasses.
• Jack Nicholson looks generally confused, as if he is not sure if he is at the Oscars or a Lakers game.
• Somebody makes a joke about the hairstyles in “American Hustle.”
• Somebody makes a joke about how old Bruce Dern and June Squibb are.
• Jennifer Lawrence does something awkward and relatable. She’s just like us!
• Somebody uses their speech to promote a cause. Take an extra shot if it’s about gay rights, Ukraine, or Russia.
• Matthew McConaughey says “alright, alright, alright.”
• Matthew McConaughey says something weird and zen in his acceptance speech, probably involving other planets.
• Uncomfortable Woody Allen reference.
• Mickey Rooney is there for some reason.
• When Kevin Hart shows up, or if somebody makes a joke about how Kevin Hart is in every movie now.
• A joke about how director Steve McQueen is also in “Bullitt.” (NOTE: This will probably never happen. But I wish it would.)
• Every time they perform a nominated song, and there is a general sadness in the air because that song isn’t “Please Mr. Kennedy.”

May your Oscar party be as crazy as this one:

Bow down to the almighty golden bald man!

If cinema is a religion, then the Oscars are its biggest holiday.

I mean this in the same way that sports are also like a religion, and the Super Bowl is its Christmas. If sports are the biggest religion, then cinema is a much smaller one, and one that you might have to be crazy to follow. Fittingly, movies are like Scientology. And it is ironic that the ceremony focuses on bowing down to a golden idol, given that the main participators are typically Jewish and idol worship is a no-no if you’re up to date with your Torah studies. I understand some of you are waiting to binge read it later.

Anyway, the Oscars do what any good holiday should do: distract us from the cold, dark world. Without the Oscars and all of the other precursors leading up to it, all we would have is “I, Frankenstein” and “Endless Love.”

This year, the Oscars seem to have gone somewhat under the radar. Maybe it is because they are in March this year, or maybe it is because “The Lego Movie” distracted us all with its awesomeness. Either way, the Oscars are still happening this year, and I still have thoughts on them.

This actually happens to be a very exciting year for the Oscars. The ceremony will cap off a fantastic year of film and this year, there is an edge of unpredictability to it. Could there be a tie? Could Leo finally win his first Oscar this year? Is Judi Dench the British version of Meryl Streep? Will I make more dumb religious analogies? I will try and answer some of these questions today.

Here is who I think will win this year at the Academy Awards:

Best Picture

First, it started with “American Hustle” winning the ensemble prize at the SAG Awards. Then, it continued with “12 Years a Slave” and “Gravity” both winning the PGA Award for Best Picture this year, which is the first time that has ever happened in history. That is the story of one of the strangest Best Picture races in recent history. The ensemble prize can often be a spoiler, but not always. There has still never been a tie for Best Picture at the Oscars, but there is always the chance that we are long overdue. Yet, I do not think it will be a tie. “12 Years a Slave” seemed like a sure thing from the day it premiered at the Toronto Film Festival. Don’t be surprised if something weird happens in this category this year.

Predicted Winner: 12 Years a Slave

Possible Spoiler: Gravity

Best Director

For the longest time, I thought Steve McQueen would be the undisputed winner here. However, the DGA doesn’t lie. Alfonso Cuaron will take home his first statue ever for his awe-inspiring work on “Gravity,” a labor of love in which the labor and the love were visible in every frame. For the second year in a row, there will be a split between Best Picture and Best Director.

Predicted Winner: Alfonso Cuaron

Possible Spoiler: Steve McQueen

Best Actor

This is by far the most crowded and toughest to predict category of the year. First off, we can eliminate Christian Bale, who did a great impression of a fat Jewish male in “American Hustle” that might have had a stronger chance in another year. Chiwetel Ejiofor seemed to have a better chance when “12 Years a Slave” was at the peak of its hype and critical acclaim. Bruce Dern at one point seemed to have a strong chance for his quiet and excellent work in “Nebraska.” It would be an award for industry veteran who has yet to receive his due. However, he has not faired well at precursor award shows.

That leaves two people at the top. Leonardo DiCaprio has been around for a long time and has given a lot of excellent performances. His work in “The Wolf of Wall Street” is arguably one of the best of his whole career. If he wins this year, it would be both well deserved and long overdue. However, this is the year of the Matthew McConaughey Renaissance. The Academy loves a comeback just as much as it loves when an actor loses weight for a role that is based on a true person.

Predicted Winner: Matthew McConaughey

Possible Spoiler: Leonardo DiCaprio

Best Actress

Sorry, Sandy Bullock. This one was decided when “Blue Jasmine” first came out in theaters last summer.

Predicted Winner: Cate Blanchett

Possible Spoiler: Sandra Bullock

Meryl Streep: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor

Barkhad Abdi did such great work in his first major acting role ever in “Captain Phillips.” I would love to see him go on stage and declare “I am the winner now.” Jonah Hill might have a slight chance, as the recent marketing push for “The Wolf of Wall Street” has focused mainly on the actors. But the two of them and the rest of the nominees will have to clap with feigned enthusiasm as Jared Leto takes the stage for his unforgettable performance in “Dallas Buyers Club.”

Predicted Winner: Jared Leto

Possible Spoiler: Jonah Hill

Best Supporting Actress

In a perfect world, June Squibb would be the undisputed winner in this category. There is a chance that her old age might appeal to voters. Jennifer Lawrence, along with being America’s sweetheart, is also a popular contender. However, she just won last year and her performance in “American Hustle” was a bit too divisive to be a sure thing. That is why SAG winner Lupita Nyong’o, in her scene-stealing breaking in “12 Years a Slave,” will walk home with the trophy.

Predicted Winner: Lupita Nyong’o

Possible Spoiler: Jennifer Lawrence

Best Original Screenplay

This category is filled with lots of strong work. This could be the best chance “American Hustle” has to walk away with everything. More likely though, this category belongs to “Her.” The little movie that could had one of the best scripts of the year, and the kind that people will be talking about long after the Oscars end.

Predicted Winner: Her

Possible Spoiler: American Hustle

Best Adapted Screenplay

“Captain Phillips” pulled off a surprise win at the SAG Awards this year. However, the real reason that “12 Years a Slave” didn’t win that award is because it wasn’t eligible. John Ridley will take home a statue to go alongside the film’s Best Picture win.

Predicted Winner: 12 Years a Slave

Possible Spoiler: Captain Phillips

Maybe it is just me, but the Oscars are taking place kind of late this year. While the ceremony usually happens in late February, this year it is being held the first weekend of March.

Okay, so it is only about a week later than usual, but that one week makes a slightly big difference. I have a feeling that it has something to do with the Olympics (thanks for that one, Putin). What that really means is that there has been this multi-week period since the nominations were announced that the Oscars have been barely in the news, except for the occasional precursor awards. Don’t worry though, in about two weeks, the Oscar hype will come back in full force.

At that point, it will be time to get serious with the nominations. Now, it is time to have some fun with them, and I mean “fun” in a very loose way. There is nothing fun about snubbing “Inside Llewyn Davis.” Anyway, voters always have the tendency to get it wrong in at least a few of the categories. While I am not a voter, I have a movie blog so I can just pretend I’m voting anyway. I love technology.

If the world were actually a right and just place, here is who and what would win in the top Oscar categories this year:

Best Picture: Her

As every die hard fan of “Her” (“Her”-heads? “Her”-galos? I’m working on it) knows, “Her” has little to no chance of winning Best Picture. It’s ambitions are far ahead of its time. It has both all of and none of the characteristics of a Best Picture winner. It is an epic love story between two unlikely forces. But it also has Kristen Wiig yelling “choke me with the dead cat!” in a sexual manner. And it is just as funny as it sounds. “Her” is so perfect for the time we live in now and for years to come that it will take many people a while to catch up with its message. It might not be remembered in history as a Best Picture winner, but it will be remembered as a Best Picture also-ran, which happens to be a pretty good place to be in (see: “Citizen Kane,” “Taxi Driver,” “Pulp Fiction,” and a never-ending etc).

Best Director: Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)

At this point, it is just common knowledge that Scorsese is one of the greatest directors of all time. However, I almost forgot why this was true until I saw “The Wolf of Wall Street,” a film that he directed the hell out of. His manic style where absolutely nothing is held back fits flawlessly with this story of excess. I am convinced that nobody else could have thought of placing that incredible Popeye joke into the now legendary quaalude scene. Some directors have a very distinct style, but the reason people may get tired of it so quickly is because they never take a break from it (looking at you, Tim Burton). Scorsese is different. In the past decade, he has only done two films in his signature style (“Wolf” and “The Departed”) and in between those two he made a psychological thriller (“Shutter Island”) and a 3D family adventure (“Hugo”). Scorsese understands that using your magic tricks sparingly is what makes them work even better.

Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)

We are coming closer and closer to the day where Leo wins a sympathy Oscar. He’s been around for so long that he’s not even 40 yet and it already feels like he’s long overdue for a win. If Leo does win this year, it would definitely be earned. With “Wolf,” DiCaprio replaced his last career-defining performance in a long career of career-defining performances. As Jordan Belfort, Leo is dark and complex, but he also shows a comedic side that I didn’t even know he had in him. Besides his incredible physical comedy in the quaalude scene, there are some smaller moments in the film that deserve acknowledgement. Take for instance one scene where he describes the prostitutes that come into Stratton Oakmont. It is so difficult for him to even contain his excitement just by talking about them that he has to bite down on his fist, ever so slightly. It is a subtle gesture that gets funnier every time and shows what an out-of-control monster Jordan Belfort was.* A win for Leo in “The Wolf of Wall Street” would also be a much needed win for comedy at the Oscars.

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

“Blue Jasmine” forces you to have a conversation with that crazy person you see in the park. With an ongoing Kubrick Stare, Cate Blanchett is frightening in the best way possible, as she uses basically anything she can to connect with anybody who will listen to her. That usually includes talking to herself. As the titular Jasmine, Blanchett adds a thrilling unpredictability to her role. Watching Jasmine is like watching an emotionally unstable child: you never know when she is going to snap. It is this part of Blanchett’s performance that ends up being so heartbreaking, because nobody knows less about what is going to happen to Jasmine than Jasmine herself.

Best Supporting Actor: Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Jonah Hill’s performance as Donnie Azoff was one of the most fun to watch last year. Instead of becoming one of those funny actors who leaves it all behind to become serious, Hill instead brought “Superbad” to Stratton Oakmont. And he is so game for this. Hill will not walk home with gold, but he should be honored to have been nominated for a performance that involved eating a goldfish and masturbating in a public setting. Now that is something we may never see at the Oscars again.

Best Supporting Actress: June Squibb (Nebraska)

While watching Will Forte and Bruce Dern bond together is great, “Nebraska” doesn’t truly pick up steam until June Squibb gets off the bus and yells at everyone and everything that she can. Squibb absolutely steals the show. You’ll laugh with delight when she flashes a tombstone and get up and cheer when she yells “go fuck yourself.” I did just that on both occasions. The greatest trick about her performance is how much of a 180 she pulls on us. At first, Kate Grant is an annoying and fussy old lady. But when she defends her husband, she becomes the loud, proud heart of the film. “Nebraska” is about a lot of people who can’t express their emotions. Without Squibb, the marriage of Woody and Kate Grant wouldn’t have felt as real as it did.

Best Original Screenplay: Her

“Her” is a film that is filled with balancing acts and tight rope walks. Spike Jonze was tasked with making something funny that didn’t mock the subject, and at that he succeeded with flying colors. The fact that Scarlett Johansson was merely a voice in a box of wires seems irrelevant by the end. The job of any great writer is to bring humanity to anything that they can, and Jonze did that better than almost any writer this year. Jonze also creates a future that is so plausible because it isn’t overbearing; it feels like pieces of both past and present accumulating to a world where comfort and convenience mask the lack of human emotion. A lot of people will try and write films that are similar to “Her,” but very few of them will do it as well as Spike Jonze did.

Best Adapted Screenplay: 12 Years a Slave

I have not read Solomon Northup’s “12 Years a Slave,” but it seems like it would have been a real challenge to adapt to the big screen. It is based on a true story where the ultimate outcome is still unclear. Yet, John Ridley still makes something clear and substantive out of it. This film deserves credit both for serving as an alternative to what you learned in history class, and most of all for being one of the most powerful and important films of the last few years. It takes a brutal subject and makes you think about it. Even if it does suffer from a tinge of White Messiah Complex, “12 Years a Slave” usually does not take the easy way out. It pulls off one of the most difficult endings possible: everything is back to the way it used to be, but the scars of the past, and the passage of time, means that nothing will ever be completely back to normal. Hey, I never said this was a happy film.

*For the record, I still think Jordan Belfort is a real life Ari Gold.

Patricia Arquette in overalls. Filed Under: 1990s

Ever since I first started to learn about film, I have always been fascinated by directorial style. Bad directors are bad because they have no distinct style. They are fine with being derivative of their time. Good directors think ahead, follow patterns, and ultimately evolve.

This year’s crop of directors nominated for Oscars are as talented as they are diverse. Some are old pros, and some are just breaking out. Some are deeply funny, and others are deeply serious. Looking at their past works is the best way to understand what they are doing in the present.

I (with the help of a friend, more on that after the jump) have gone through the careers of all five of this year’s Oscar nominated directors. I didn’t necessarily chose their best works, but rather I chose the ones you might not have seen (because honestly, you don’t need me to know that “Raging Bull” is great), or the one’s that exemplify each director in an interesting way. Without further adieu, here is my list of five other great movies from this year’s Oscar Nominated directors:

Note: I have not seen any other Steve McQueen film besides “12 Years a Slave.” This posed a big problem. Luckily, friend of the blog, and noted Michael Fassbender Historian Sammy Warshaw was here to save the day. He guest writes the section about “Shame.”

Alfonso Cuaron: Children of Men (2006)

Early in his career, Alfonso Cuaron was often grouped together with an emerging wave of Mexican filmmakers that included Guillermo del Toro and Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu. It is not because their films share a lot in common, but rather because all three of them are Mexican. You see, America is kind of racist.

Anyway, the year 2006 was a banner year for all three of them. Del Toro had “Pan’s Labyrinth,” Inarritu had “Babel,” and Cuaron had “Children of Men.” To this day, “Children of Men” is still the gold standard for cinematic dystopias. At a time when nauseating quick cuts were typical in most action films, Cuaron went against the grain and used mesmerizing continuous takes. The risk he took paid off, and with it he created two of the greatest chase scenes you’ll ever see. They are effective because they just don’t stop, and they allow the audience to see every stumble and every blow. It’s mesmerizing. And while other dystopias might tend towards hoverboards and white jump suits, the futuristic England of “Children of Men” looks more like a war-torn version of the present. “Children of Men” is one of the most visually complex films I have ever seen. Images from it evoke everything from the Warsaw Ghetto to Guantanamo Bay, thus making it a timeless political allegory.

While “Children of Men” is the definition of bleak, it is also ultimately hopeful. It shows Cuaron’s worldview: even when there is sadness and killing, humanity can ultimately still be a beautiful thing. Also, this is just one of the tensest action films ever made. The fact that the same man made both “Children of Men” and “Gravity” is astounding.

Steve McQueen: Shame (2011)

There’s something about the over-educated British intellectual that has irked me ever since I saw my first Merchant Ivory film. For practically the entirety of my first (and only) viewing of “Howard’s End,” I found myself cringing at the idea that somewhere on this earth; a stilton-loving, Earl Grey guzzling, 50-something-year-old bloke was marveling at his own artistic transcendence. Gross.

So, it only makes sense that I initially found myself resisting the work of Steve McQueen before I really even gave it a fair chance. That’s what makes his 2011 film “Shame” all the more admirable and ultimately impressive. Sure, if you dig deep enough into the film’s texture, you’re obviously going to find your standard beard stroking moments of existential expressionism (what do you expect), not to mention a few ubiquitous “film school ready” extended tracking shots. That being said, I find McQueen’s films crucially underrated in that they still manage to generate a satisfying viewing experience. It’s not like McQueen is just a fat Lee Daniels either, people.

When we see the great Assbender cranking a quick one out in the men’s stall on his work break, you’re not getting an avant-garde, “let’s reveal his inner demons” type of filmmaking. At least it doesn’t feel like it. “Shame” and “12 Years a Slave” are both rare breeds; they’re able to stay real and cinematic at the same time. McQueen isn’t the black jesus, but at least he’s not trying to be. What he is, however, is one of the few remaining true auteurs of the medium, and we can only pray that his apparent self-seriousness doesn’t eventually get the best of him. Please Hollywood, if you take McQueen from us, and we assume you will after “12 Years a Slave” wins the Oscar, at least let him keep the jerk-off scenes. -Sammy Warshaw/Shia Labeouf

David O. Russell: Flirting with Disaster (1996)

David O. Russell has been entertaining some people and pissing off others since early in his career. He has always been in the business of directing neurotic screwball comedies, which makes for some very broad characters. Russell doesn’t piss me off, as the way he utilizes all of his characters in response to the world that he puts them in is almost always near perfect.

For anybody looking for cross country road trips and stereotypical New York Jews complaining, “Flirting with Disaster” is the answer to all your prayers. In it, Ben Stiller plays Mel, a new father who was adopted as a child and now wants to find his biological parents. Along the way, a series of mishaps allow him to take in a sampling of some of America’s finest weirdos. The film fires on all cylinders while simultaneously being painful to watch. But it’s the good kind of painful, the kind that you fight through because you just want to see how everything won’t work out. More importantly though, Alan Alda and Lily Tomlin play a couple of aging, married hippies. Imagine how perfect that sounds, then think a little harder.

“Flirting with Disaster” is all about the shit hitting the fan. David O. Russell’s greatest talent is how good he is under stress, and the more insane his films get, the more he is able to wrest control. “Flirting with Disaster” is a great example of early David O. Russell, before his more polished career of today.

Martin Scorsese: The King of Comedy (1983)

People seemed surprised at how funny “The Wolf of Wall Street” is. However, “Wolf” is not Scorsese’s first brush with comedy. The vastly underrated “The King of Comedy” is both against type for Scorsese and exactly the kind of film we have come to expect of him.

“The King of Comedy” is about as black as black comedies get. Robert DeNiro plays Rupert Pupkin (a name that is hard to forget), a wannabe comedian who lives in his mom’s basement and dreams of his big TV debut. Finding that no one will give him five minutes, he decides to kidnap his favorite talk show host (Jerry Lewis) in the misguided hopes of finally getting his first shot. The only real difference between Rupert Pupkin and Travis Bickle is that Pupkin doesn’t have PTSD. Scorsese knows how to make society’s shadow figures so endlessly compelling.

Then, “The King of Comedy” ends in the kind of way that is only happy if you happen to be as insane as the character. Nobody employs the ironic ending like Scorsese does. “The King of Comedy,” like Scorsese’s best films, turns the camera on the audience. The way you react to the characters can tell you a lot about who you are as a person.

Alexander Payne: Election (1999)

Most people will claim that “Sideways” is Alexander Payne’s best film. Don’t get me wrong, I like wine, and I like white people, but the two of  them together can often be kind of boring. “Election” is the furthest thing from that. Long before “Nebraska,” Alexander Payne has been ripping Middle America a new one. It was a little more sincere in “Nebraska.” “Election,” though, is straight up mean. I mean that as a compliment.

The film is mean from its very premise: a high school teacher (Matthew Broderick) tries to stop know-it-all Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) from winning class president. Broderick is perfectly cast as the anti-Ferris Bueller, while Witherspoon gives new meaning to the phrase “fuck me, please.”

“Election” shows a very different Alexander Payne. This is not the same man who directed “The Descendants.” Today, he  lets scenes play out. In “Election,” he butts in as much as possible with hilarious freeze frames and meandering streams of consciousness. His meanness is okay, though, as Payne spreads the hate around. And hey, at least everybody gets a semi-happy ending, bee stings and all. Even for a movie that is often mean-spirited, I don’t think I can run out of nice things to say about “Election.”

Now, it is fairly reasonable to expect that the Academy cannot reward anything. In the future, most people don’t even remember all of the nominees, and a lot of films that get overlooked by the Oscars do fine in the future. For instance, “The Searchers,” one of the most influential films of all time, was completely ignored by the Academy when it came out in 1956. It seems like history has not been as kind to “Around the World in 80 Days.”

None of us know what the future will hold. So instead, let’s live in the moment and ponder where the Academy got it completely wrong. If I was a voter, here are the actors, writers, directors, and films that I would have included on the ballot:

Oscar Isaac (Inside Llewyn Davis)

Everything about “Inside Llewyn Davis” could fit in here. The writing, directing, and performances from the likes of Justin Timberlake and Carey Mulligan. However, Oscar Isaac’s snub for what is likely to be a career-defining performance seems to be the most perplexing. For starters, the guy actually performed every single song. From the passionate desperation of “The Death of Queen Jane” to the redemptive energy of his final performance of “Fare Thee Well (Dink’s Song),” Isaac had incredible range and at the same time used musical performance to bring Llewyn’s story arc to an uncertain full circle. At one point in the film, Llewyn describes a folk song as something that “was never new, and it never gets old.” That is how both Isaac’s performance, and the film as a whole, feel. Like every folk song and every Coen Brothers’ film, time will only be kind to it.

Scarlett Johansson (Her)

Scarlett Johansson probably didn’t qualify for the award, given that only her voice appears in the film. If only the Academy voted subjectively instead of objectively. As the OS Samantha in “Her,” there was never a moment where Johansson’s presence wasn’t felt. Using every part of your body in a performance is one thing, while using just your voice and and feeling physically present while doing so is another feat entirely. “Her” is about the possibility of a machine being human. Spike Jonze came up with the idea and the character, but Johansson made it feel sincerely real.

Blackfish

From “The Thin Blue Line” to “Grizzly Man,” the Academy has a bad reputation for ignoring some of the most talked about documentaries for their respective years. This year, “Blackfish” was the unfortunate victim. This haunting documentary about the Orcas in SeaWorld made a fairly obvious point that whales were not meant to live in a tank in such a convincing way while also focusing on the amazing beauty of these animals. The joke is on the Academy though, as “Blackfish” has made a huge impact on our culture. It has certainly caused a big public backlash against SeaWorld. Meanwhile, some SeaWorld executives may just be toasting the film’s loss. To that I say f**k you, SeaWorld. Your Splash Zone sucks.

Frances Ha

I thought this delightful indie would at least get a nomination for Noah Baumbach’s and Greta Gerwig’s funny and original script. Maybe Academy voters forgot what it was like to be in your 20s, and couldn’t connect with any of the energy and confusion that pulsed through “Frances Ha.” If not for writing, then why not for Gerwig’s performance as 2013′s most endearing misfit? Or even the black-and-white cinematography,  which felt perfect as opposed to pretentious.

Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips)

If Tom Hanks were to be nominated for an Academy Award for any film this year, conventional wisdom would say that it would be for the Oscar-baiting “Saving Mr. Banks” (a.k.a. “Pear Fest 2013″). However, it was his performance in “Captain Phillips” that truly defined the Hanks of last year. Hanks managed to keep his Mr. Nice Guy public image while simultaneously playing against type. He played Richard Phillips as somebody who demanded respect, even when he was trembling with fear. Whatever you say, Somali pirates, Tom Hanks is and always will be the Captain.

Image via Film School Rejects

Note: I wish I thought of this headline last year when “Silver Linings Playbook” was nominated. Better late than never?

On the morning that the Oscar nominations are announced, Hollywood must look a lot like the opening of “The Lion King.” The sun rises, and every animal out there (or in this case, actors, agents, managers, etc.) put aside their differences and march down to Pride Rock (or in this case, a stage) to hear who will could be crowned as the next rulers of Hollywood.

The circle of life is naturally repetitive, and every year consists of equal parts happiness and outrage over the nominations. For every nomination that voters get right, there’s about three they get wrong. For instance, I could write an entire article about the egregious snubbing of “Inside Llewyn Davis.” But I’ll save that for later, as it is worth staying positive and acknowledging when the establishment honors the right people and films. Credit where credit is due, here is where the Academy got it right this year:

Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)

It’s about time that this visual mastermind got nominated for Best Director. His groundbreaking use of long takes in everything from “Y Tu Mama Tambien” to “Children of Men” were just a taste for the breathtaking scope of “Gravity.” It’s not often that a sci-fi blockbuster gets nominated for Best Picture. Under the care of Cuaron, “Gravity” showed the existential dread of the vast emptiness of space like few others before him ever had.

Annapurna Pictures/Megan Ellison

This year, Megan Ellison became only the fourth person in Oscar history to produce two films nominated for Best Picture in the same year. This year, she is up for both “American Hustle” and “Her.” Some of her past features include “Killing Them Softly,” “The Master,” and “Zero Dark Thirty.” Ellison’s success in the Oscars this year shows that her model of taking on risky projects that others won’t touch is really paying off. Good taste goes a long way.

The Hunt

Once it made it to American soil, “The Hunt” quietly came and went. Hopefully, this nomination will bring it back into the spotlight. Regardless, of whether or not it wins, “The Hunt” is something to be seen and remembered. It’s the kind of drama that would have trouble getting made in America, because it goes to every dark place you don’t want it to go to, and it is both enthralling and terrifying to watch. As Lucas, a man falsely accused of molesting a child, Mads Mikkelsen invites you to watch his life be completely destroyed with him. It was a performance that has sadly been snubbed all around. “The Hunt” is a painful experience, but no matter how unhappy it turns out to be, it feels like a reward to have made it out unscathed.

Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)

When most comedic actors and actresses decide to take on a “serious” role, they usually pick a part that is the complete opposite of anything they have done in the past. However, Hill used all of the comedic strengths he displayed in “Knocked Up” and “Superbad” to fantastic effect in “The Wolf of Wall Street.” Hill seems to have a natural chemistry with just about everyone he is on screen with, and one of the many skills of a great actor is to make everyone they are working with look better. Jonah Hill is now a two time Oscar nominee, but let’s not forget where it all began:

Bruno Delbonnel (Inside Llewyn Davis)

Because my favorite film of the year was snubbed in every major category, it is best to appreciate what little was given to it. Bruno Delbonnel’s bleak, color-drained cinematography perfectly matched the film’s mood. The film looks and feels like seasonal depression. If you’ve never experienced a winter in the Northeast, you’ll feel like you have after watching “Inside Llewyn Davis.”