“Take the Oscar decorations down from the tree,” Joe said to his son Timmy, “also, why are you decorating our lawn for an awards show?”

And now that the Oscars are over, we must face the reality of February and the six more weeks of winter that moron groundhog gave us. Look, I know that in the grand scheme of things, the Oscars are pointless. But you know what else is? The Super Bowl. Yet, nobody is ever criticized for caring too much about the score of the game. The Oscars give us something to laugh at, something to yell at, but most importantly, it gives us something to bond with other people over.

Last night’s ceremony was one of the worst in recent memory. It was bloated and overlong. Yet, I can’t argue with some of the winners, and that “some” is more than most years. However, I would love to teach voters what “screenplay” and “writing” mean. Anyway, a lot of people are angry that Boyhood didn’t win Best Picture, and rightfully so. However, just keep in mind that winning an Oscar is sometimes the worst thing for a film’s legacy. But hey, in terms of films it could have lost to, Birdman isn’t half bad.

Every show will include just as many highlights as outrages. So here are the things I liked, the things I didn’t like, and the things I’m not sure about from last night’s ceremony:

I Liked Some Things

Everything Is Awesome: Much like The Lego Movie itself, this musical number blew all my expectations out of the water. This was like watching a really giddy acid trip come to life. Legos sang. A dude in a cowboy hat carried a dead dog around. Andy Samberg was on the freaking Oscar stage. It was wildly fun, imaginative, and the kind of untamed, uncynical mess that the Academy Awards could use a lot more of.

Julianne Moore: This feels so just, and so earned. A lot of Oscars are given to honor an entire body of work, and you can point to every part of her career where an Oscar should have been.

Graham Moore (a.k.a. More Moore): Yes, I really wanted Whiplash to win this. I thought The Imitation Game script was the weakest part of an otherwise solid film. However, Graham Moore’s acceptance speech was genuine and sweet. I hope some kid in North Dakota heard him say “stay weird” and immediately hopped in a u-haul and headed towards Portland.

John Travolta: I have no idea what happened to the awesomely suave dude from Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction. Watching his alien robot wiring malfunction two years in a row has been the most spectacularly strange spectacle to witness. It embodies the other reason people watch the Oscars: to see a possible live trainwreck in action. Watching him grab Idina Menzel’s face was like watching Oh Dae-su grab that girl’s face for the first time after being deprived of human contact for years in Oldboy. What I am trying to say is that either John Travolta has a murderous streak in him, or he is an alien trying to learn our secrets.

I Didn’t Like Some Things

The Jokes: Maybe it is time to let Bruce Vilanch go? I don’t know, all I am saying is that maybe it isn’t the best idea to give an award to a film about Edward Snowden, and then call him a traitor. Maybe don’t ever say things you will later regret? YouTube exists. These things will live on forever.

Clips: Somebody please do an investigation into who finds the Oscar clips. They spoiled key scenes in Gone Girl and Wild. Another showed Benedict Cumberbatch shouting, “Heil Hitler!”

Eddie Redmayne: Eddie Redmayne is a charming fellow who gave a nice speech. However, I still hold firm to my belief that his performance was a variation of Simple Jack. No disrespect, Mr. Hawking.

The Sound of Music Musical Number: What do you do when your show is already running a half hour overtime? Throw in a musical tribute to a 50 year old film that nobody asked for! To be fair, good job Lady Gaga.

J.K. Simmons: Thanks for getting us in hot water with all our parents, dude.

I Don’t Know How To Feel About These Things!

Neil Patrick Harris: When it was announced that NPH would be hosting this year’s Oscars, it seemed like a no brainer. After all, this guy knows nothing but breathing and hosting. However, his performance tonight was off. I am not sure if it was because the jokes were pretty terrible, or if he seemed a bit too mean-spirited for somebody who usually seems so nice. Having said that, hosting an awards show is a thankless job. You’re steering a ship that everybody wishes would crash. Take what I am saying with a grain of salt; this opinion is coming from a kid who thought Seth MacFarlane was a good host.

Birdman Wins Best Picture: Just a few months ago, critics and audiences alike were getting ready to build a golden statue of Michael Keaton. Then, word spread that Birdman was an Oscar frontrunner and suddenly, people decided to let all of their negative opinions out now. The timing seems a little weird. Where were you all months ago to facilitate a balanced and nuanced conversation?

Anyway, I liked Birdman a lot. Boyhood  was extraordinary. My favorite film of the year was Whiplash but depending on the day, I might have said Boyhood or Birdman instead. But now that Birdman sits on the throne, it must endure the worst nitpicking. Sure, it might not have been the best choice this year (like I said, Whiplash was my favorite but Boyhood made the most sense as an Oscar winner), but it was still an interesting choice. This was a film that at least tried and succeeded at challenging the status quo. It had weird drama and even weirder comedy. Sure, it was a film about show business (Broadway, not Hollywood), but the Academy rarely honors interesting films. I know we are all upset that Richard Linklater can’t go back to Austin with a hunk of gold, take comfort in the fact that Birdman‘s win might actually encourage voters to make bolder choices.

If only we could all be this happy. Image via Forbes

There is nothing Americans love more than complaining about things that they know nothing about. Thus, the Oscars are a complainer’s paradise.

Yes, the Oscars are just an awards show, and not the end of the world. But scoring a nomination is actually important. For example, if Jennifer Aninston scored a nod for Cake, maybe we would finally be able to see it. Seriously, I don’t know a single non-critic who has seen the movie. I don’t even think Jennifer Aniston has seen it. But at the end of the day, it’s a hunk of shiny medal shaped like a naked bald dude holding a sword.

There is also the disparity between what deserves an Oscar and what will actually win an Oscar. A lot of films that win Best Picture are forgotten years later. For instance, let’s look at 2004. Million Dollar Baby won that year. I would argue that the most influential and memorable film of that year is Mean Girls. That is the one that everybody still watches and quotes, but of course it wasn’t nominated for any Oscars. It is not an Oscar movie; it is the kind of movie that people dedicate Tumblr accounts to.

When deciding what I think the biggest snubs were, I took into account both what I wish was nominated, and what would actually make sense as a nomination. Yesterday, I talked about which nominations made me happy. Today, I discuss which snubs make me sad. Cue the anger!

Jake Gyllenhaal, Nightcrawler

It is insanity that Gyllenhaal wasn’t nominated. Does the Academy hate weirdos or something? As the frighteningly ambitious Lou Bloom, Gyllenhaal created a sociopath as memorable as Norman Bates and Patrick Bateman. His performance is so physical: just look at his eyes; it looks like they were clamped open Clockwork Orange style and he never learned to shut them again. There are probably thousands of Lou Blooms out there who’s view of the world is crafted by internet comments and self-help books rather than actual life experience.

Ralph Fiennes, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Oscar voters have never understood how difficult comedy is. In his performance as Gustave, Fiennes had to be silly and effete one moment, and martyr for the cause of humanity the next. He works his magic on you in an almost invisible way; you won’t realize how much you cared about his character until the very end. This performance is so unique because nobody else could have played it. Had Gustave been played by a different actor, he would have been insanely flat as Mortdecai. I am only saying this because both characters have mustaches. That’s enough for a comparison for me.

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

Sure, Flynn had something of an unfair advantage, given that she was adapting her own book to the screen. But the fact that her story worked so well with very few changes (at least from what I have heard) is a testament to the power of her writing. Besides the brilliant twists and turns, the most genius part about this script was that it made it impossible to root for anybody. This is moral ambiguity done right.

Life Itself

I kind of snubbed Life Itself as well. I never wrote a review of it, and I neglected to include it in my year end list. This riveting documentary on the life of Roger Ebert was the definition of warts and all. We see his arrogance in his fights with Gene Siskel, and we even watch a feeding tube get shoved into his neck when he is hospitalized. This is a thorough celebration of a man who was both populist and elitist, and who completely changed film criticism forever. If you didn’t cry at the end of this, then you might be a sociopath. I will credit this snub to the fact that voters probably hate film critics.

The Lego Movie

When J.J. Abrams announced that “Everything Is Awesome” was among the Best Original Song nominees, people gasped. When The Lego Movie did not appear amongst the Best Animated Feature nominees, a million angry voices shouted, “everything is not awesome!” If commercial success can’t get you anywhere at an awards show, than creativity should. If you still doubt The Lego Movie is any good, than just realize that people are angry that a movie based on a toy wasn’t nominated for an Oscar. What a crazy world we live in.

Selma

The most talked about snub of the year has been of Selma. Now, Selma was nominated for the big prize, but the fact that it was left out of most of the other major categories is confounding. I do not want to charge the Academy with racism, even though their lack of diversity does not look good for them. The real issue for me is that David Oyelowo deserved some recognition for his incredible performance, which was beyond mere imitation. Plus, Ava Duvernay deserves credit for elegantly directing such challenging material. If you want to know more about why Selma got the cold shoulder, read this intelligent and level-headed piece over on Grantland.

Tilda Swinton, Snowpiercer

I have a feeling that the Academy didn’t take Snowpiercer as seriously as it should have because, well, it is a summer blockbuster. Don’t be so pretentious, guys. I still think of Tilda Swinton’s creepy and hilarious bureaucrat who is basically Kim Jong-un with a Scottish accent. It is like watching your weird aunt go on a power trip. Swinton might not have been nominated this year, but this character will be remembered for years to come.

Image via Hitfix

The statement “while I do not agree with some of the nominations, I am happy about most of them” could literally be said every single year. Time is a freaking flat circle.

There have already been a lot of complaints going around, mainly about the lack of Selma (my review and thoughts on that to come). With a strong presence of films like The Imitation Game and The Theory of Everything (NOTE: I haven’t seen either of these yet, so I am guessing here), this was a year made for Oscar movies rather than movies that actually deserved Oscars. However, the ambitious Boyhood and Birdman lead the pack. In order to finally get some Oscar love, Alejandro Inarritu had to finally stop making Oscar movies.

There are many deserving nominees this year. Here are a few I especially loved:

Emma Stone

It is hard to steal the spotlight in a film that is commanded by Michael Keaton and Edward Norton, but Emma Stone really proved her worth in Birdman. I never thought she was a bad actress, but I never knew she was this good. Birdman happens to be the kind of film that forces actors to be at the top of their game. Her monologue about being relevant still shakes me from time to time.

Everything Is Awesome

The Lego Movie‘s egregious snub for Best Animated Feature had everybody shouting, “everything is not awesome!” Weird, as this morning started off so well for the Lego Movie team: the first nomination announced was “Everything Is Awesome” for Best Original Song. This ode to being a square is one of the most joyous songs written this year. The best part was listening to a room full of crusty old Hollywood types gasp as J.J. Abrams announced this nomination.

Inherent Vice

Adapting Thomas Pynchon is not for the faint at heart, and Paul Thomas Anderson was certainly up for the task. Inherent Vice comes to no clear conclusions and strays so far from the three act structure that it sometimes feels more like a collection of stoned weirdos than an actual movie. By the way, that is a compliment.

Rosamund Pike

Well, at least the Academy made room for one terrifying sociopath.

Wes Anderson

The Grand Budapest Hotel is not my favorite Wes Anderson film (alas, I still loved it). However, a Best Director nomination for him has been a long overdue. Sure, it’s fun to crack jokes about his silly scarves and quirkiness, but let’s not forget that Anderson is by far one of the most original American directors working today and that The Grand Budapest Hotel had him going to some fantastically dark places. To celebrate, Wes Anderson grabbed a couple of burgers with Royal Tenenbaum and hit the cemetery.

Whiplash

Whiplash was my favorite film of the year, so by default I am happy about this. I honestly didn’t think it would make the Best Picture cut, despite some of the best reviews of the year. After all, this is basically a horror movie, and the Academy hates those. Whiplash is basically an anti-Oscar movie that sticks it to the those traditional tales of triumphing against all odds. Hey guys, the Oscars take risks sometimes.

Round up the usual suspects! Image via Paste Magazine

Just like March, summer goes in like a lion (whatever giant franchise offering Disney has to offer in June) and out like a very wimpy lamb (whatever Paranormal Activity spin-off is lated for release in the last week of August).

It would be unfair to immediately dismiss this summer’s entire lineup just because it doesn’t contain many original ideas. For now, originality is dead in Hollywood. That is a well researched fact, just like the how dogs are better than cats and Jaden Smith is terrible at grammar. Instead of rejecting it, it is better for a cinephile’s psyche to find the silver linings.

While there will still be plenty of sequels, prequels, remakes, and adaptations this summer, some of the worst qualities of modern Hollywood are starting to go the way of the dinosaurs and M. Night Shyamalan. For instance, this summer will give us a few major blockbusters that don’t hit the three hour mark, as well as a worldview that is more fun than gritty. Gritty is for Oscar season. Summer is for fun. Smart fun, if that is in anyway possible.

Here are the five movies coming out in the summer of 2014 that I look forward to the most:

5. 22 Jump Street (June 13)

22 Jump Street seems like an unnecessary sequel. Then again, 21 Jump Street seemed like an unnecessary movie. This is Chris Miller and Phil Lord’s second outing in 2014 following the huge success of The Lego Movie. As both 21 Jump Street and The Lego Movie proved, they are masters at taking bad ideas and spinning them into gold. 22 Jump Street could also be another great bad idea, even if it neglected to find another role for Brie Larson, who is, in fact, America’s sweetheart. Anyway, 22 Jump Street should be great, so long as it turns sequels that rehash their predecessors into a meta joke. Also, less scenes of college parties and more scenes of Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill on drugs, please.

4. Neighbors (May 9)

This is the only movie on the list that is not adapted from previous source material. I have high hopes for Neighbors, as Seth Rogen can do no wrong in my eyes (although he didn’t write or direct this). Neighbors has a simple concept of class versus classless reminiscent of comedies from another era such as Animal House and Caddyshack, and it even promises Dave Franco doing an impression of Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents. The only issue is that the trailers may be giving away too much. I have a theory that bad comedies have good trailers, because all of their best material can fit into a two minute video. The best comedies save all of their gold for the theaters, which is partly why I liked last summer’s The Heat so much. Neighbors will be a great summer comedy, as long as the people who made it stop giving away all of its best f***ing jokes for free.

3. Godzilla (May 16)

I might be the only person on the planet who didn’t like last summer’s Pacific Rim, so I am in need of a movie where a giant dinosaur-type monster destroys an entire city. I think that Godzilla is that movie. The footage that has been shown to the world so far is nothing short of mesmerizing, and the entire film clocks in at just around the two hour mark. Finally, Hollywood is starting to trim down on its bloated spectacles.

2. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (August 22)

It has been almost a decade since the last Sin City came out, yet time has not weakened my excitement for another installment. A Dame to Kill For looks like it will provide all of the red blood against a black and white backdrop that I need for the year. The last film left most of the characters in a state that you wouldn’t necessarily call alive, so A Dame to Kill For will have plenty of room for new characters (though Mickey Rourke and Bruce Willis are coming back), situations, and decapitated clergymen.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy (August 1)

I don’t know a thing about Guardians of the Galaxy. I have no idea why Vin Diesel is playing a tree or why Bradley Cooper is playing a raccoon with a gun and I don’t care because I am into it. Guardians of the Galaxy looks like a refreshing break from most of today’s self-serious comic book blockbusters. It embraces a funny and silly spirit that will hopefully make this summer less cynical. The Guardians of the Galaxy trailer itself is a master class in how to make a good trailer: it tells you exactly what you need to know about the plot (a rag-tag team must save the galaxy) without revealing anything major (who are they fighting against?). Plus, between this and The Lego Movie, it looks like Chris Pratt is about to become a household name. Burt Macklin would be proud.

For about as far back as I can remember, I have always been obsessed with movie posters.

The best posters can be works of art. The worst can completely change how you feel about the film it is representing, even if you haven’t seen that film yet.

I decided to spend a part of my recent trip to Europe looking around at whatever movie posters they had hanging in public places. The truth is, no matter what language they are in, the posters on both sides of the pond are fairly similar. The most interesting part is trying to figure out why some titles changed, and what local posters tell you about that culture.

Look below for the highlights of the movie posters I found while exploring London and Paris:

God speed, London. Enjoy your share of erectile dysfunction jokes.

I didn’t think anything could make The Lego Movie better. But a title like La Grande Lego Adventure sounds much better to me.

At first glance, there is not much of a difference here. Maybe the French will enjoy this one more because it’s about protecting their art. The only difference here is that it is Monuments Men instead of The Monuments Men. Looks like they took some advice from Sean Parker.

I wonder if the line “I want to kill him and I want him to stay dead” sounds as dumb in French as it does in English.

Interesting that they changed the name. The original name of the film is Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Maybe it was changed because Jack Ryan isn’t as familiar of a name overseas, or maybe Europeans really hate colons. Also, this ad was on a table in a cafe. Like the table was an ad for a movie. Shameless promotion taken to a new level.

This translates to Relationship Status: It’s Complicated. Maybe this is a French remake of It’s Complicated, but with less middle aged white people talking about remodeling their kitchens (I swear that’s all Meryl Streep talks about in it). France might be the land of the French New Wave, the Mona Lisa, and Monet’s collection, but they still have the same love of cheesy rom-coms and movies with titles based on Internet slang as Americans do. I guess we all can get along.

Another thing France and America have in common: we all love to watch Liam Neeson kick some ass and save some lives. Liam Neeson should become a foreign ambassador.

No idea what this is, and IMDB is not helping. Based on the poster alone, I am just going to go ahead and assume that it is the French version of The Bucket List. Gotta have that soft lighting, yo.

“Maybe if we add an extra ‘E’ to it, people will think it sounds more French!” -Steve from Marketing

The only place I have seen this poster is at the Electric Cinema in London. By the way, if you ever go to London, I highly recommend checking out the Electric Cinema. It is London’s oldest, and now hippest, movie theater. I actually like this minimalistic poster better than the normal poster for The Grand Budapest Hotel, which itself isn’t bad. The more widely distributed poster tells you is that there is going to be hotel. The poster above doesn’t tell you the plot, but it creates a mystery of what the plot may be. I love that. Most posters today are about displaying whatever hot celebrities star in the movie. Sometimes, just a briefcase and a puddle of blood are enough to get people to buy a ticket.

NOT PICTURED: American Hustle. I did not have a chance to snap a photo of this one in the wild, but in France American Hustle is called American Bluff. Interesting change, but I still like the original title that it had before it came out the best: American Bullshit.

Every once in a while, a film needs to come around that alleviates all of your worries and reminds you that everything is awesome. As the main song suggests, “The Lego Movie” is exactly what you are looking for.

“The Lego Movie” is the movie that I had no idea I was waiting for. Even after waiting a week to see it, the hype does not tamper its impact at all. “The Lego Movie” proves that you don’t have to be Pixar to create something that is both great for kids and the annoyed parents that they drag with them to the movies.

Here’s the thing: I fall into neither of those categories. I am not young enough to be a child or old enough to take care of one. I am in the state between childhood and adulthood, which is why “The Lego Movie” was perfect for me.

The greatest trick “The Lego Movie” pulls is making a 90 minute Lego ad that doesn’t feel like one at all. Maybe that’s because nobody needs to advertise Legos anymore; at this point, the word is basically a part of the English language. Therefore, making a Lego movie is much more than just a blind cash grab.

Yes, “The Lego Movie” has a real story. Emmet (Chris Pratt) is a construction worker and a fairly boring dude. He only likes the pop song that everyone listens to (“Everything is Awesome”) and the most popular sitcom (“Where’s My Pants,” which just reeks of “The Big Bang Theory”). He is an empty vessel, to hilarious effect. That is until he meets Wyldstyle (Elizabeth Banks), who wins him over because she is a really hot Lego. He also finds out that he is the “chosen one” who will lead the Resistance against President Business (Will Ferrell) and reunite all of the Lego worlds. This is how the movie is able to bring Batman (Will Arnett) into the story. Will Arnett, by the way, might be the best Batman to date.

“The Lego Movie” is infectious. Try to watch it and not have a great time. It is packed to the brim with jokes, like it is trying to throw as much as it can against the wall. Basically all of it sticks. It crosses different pop culture zones with such ease while everyone involved also seems to be having a blast. This is the best opportunity you will get to watch some really respected actors basically making fun of themselves. Liam Neeson gets to play a tough cop loosely based off of his “Taken” persona, while Morgan Freeman gets to play the sage, but with much less useful advice.

Animation is probably the greatest way to boil down a complicated world view into something both simple and farcical. Hey, life itself is pretty cartoonish, and “The Lego Movie” is the cartoonish thing it deserves to imitate it. “The Lego Movie” is all about the goods that we consume everyday with such ease. What does it say about us that the song “Everything is Awesome,” the only song that DJs play on the radio, is so damn catchy?

But “The Lego Movie” is not a pop song, it is pop art. I feel weird for saying that, but it is true. “The Lego Movie” comes from the minds of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. The two of them also collaborated on “21 Jump Street.” They have a rare talent for taking a really bad idea and turning it into a really good product. Originality is rare today in Hollywood, and most remakes and movies based on toys are immediately shunned by the press, even if they do well at the box office. There really is something great to be said about taking something dusty and stale and turning it into something exciting and new. Lord and Miller actually respect the source material that they work with.

“The Lego Movie” not only makes the toy-based movie good, but also movies in general. It follows the typical movie structure basically to a T. If you know movies, then you will see that it hits basically every important plot point at just the right time. Yet, it takes all of those and hits the biggest high note possible. There is a big speech, but it is actually a good speech. It has a big third act twist that could have been disastrous, but it ends up giving the film its heart. Basically, “The Lego Movie” restored my faith in formula.

Despite playing by the rules, “The Lego Movie” is also about anarchy. It is about the power of drawing outside the lines and using your imagination. What Lord and Miller are doing with their career is playing the Hollywood game, but doing it the way that they want to. “The Lego Movie” is like watching a really creative kid who is on his way to being a really smart kid playing with his toys. “The Lego Movie” is like reliving your childhood, but with much better lighting.

Brain Farts From The Edge (Some Spoilers Follow)

• Not that the series needs any help, but Lord and Miller deserve their own “Muppets” movie.
• Little kids will watch Unikitty (Alison Brie), but probably not find her funny until they are much older.
• I’m calling it now: “The Lego Movie” is this generation’s “Toy Story.” There, I said it.
• Yes, this brought tears to my eyes at one point. When father and son hug, it is just such a sweet moment. The fact that I got this emotional over two characters that are barely in the movie says a lot about how effective “The Lego Movie” is.
• I love how the little sisters’ lego blocks are those big ones they gave you because you were two young to handle the little ones. Just a nice little detail.
• Is there a better on screen pairing than Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill? Their Superman and Green Lantern deserve their own spinoff.
• Speaking of which, in terms of that whole controversy of “The Lego Movie” stealing the Superman joke from Jerry Seinfeld: I think that Jerry might have been joking around with those Tweets. Comedians do enjoy sarcasm. If he isn’t, then he should really back off. Jerry, I think you’ve got enough money. Let them have this one. They earned it.