Thanks to this tweet, I was alerted to the existence of the actual velociraptor cage from “Jurassic Park” (pictured above), which is being sold on eBay for about $100,000. This is good if you have a serious velociraptor/Jeff Goldblum problem, but even better if you are a film buff with way too much cash to spend.

So, this led me to tumble down the movie memorabilia section wormhole on eBay. As you might expect, much of the stuff on there is centered on “Star Wars” and other sci-fi and horror classics. But then, there is some stuff that is just too odd to explain. They cost the kind of money that only Jordan Belfort and Nicolas Cage would be willing to spend.

What I am about to show you barely scratches the surface. Today, I introduce the first part of a new weekly roundup of the most awesome, weirdest, and inexplicable movie memorabilia you can find on eBay. The qualifications: it must be an actual prop or costume from a film. So keep your damn Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle lunch boxes to yourself.

Death Proof

Pretty cool, despite being from Quentin Tarantino’s weakest film. Yes girls, please talk about how you are going to get reveng for another 20 minutes and then never do it. Anyway, I guess it costs $39,900 to make you forget that your favorite director recently crushed all your hopes and dreams.

50 First Dates

Is somebody really THAT desperate to own a piece of “50 First Dates” that they need to shell out this much money for an American flag that appears in maybe one shot? No disrespect to the American flag, but hanging a movie prop flag outside your house is just a kind of patriotism that I will never understand. And it’s not even a cool from “Saving Private Ryan” or something.

The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas

I am learning so many things today! Alan Cumming played a singer named Mick Jagged in a mediocre Flinstones movie! I don’t get it. Is it a pun on Mick Jagger’s name? Does “Jagged” have something to do with prehistoric times? Seriously, who the hell wrote “Viva Rock Vegas”? “60 Minutes” will have a report tomorrow.

The Untouchables

Own a piece of history from the time in history that Kevin Costner was considered a promising young actor.

The Sandlot 2

Wait, there was a sequel to “The Sandlot”? Somebody tried to replicate a perfect movie? Excuse me while I try and salvage the remains of my childhood.

Titanic

I have no idea what this thing is supposed to be, but I am not surprised that somebody would be that desperate to own a piece of “Titanic” that they would buy what looks like metal bubble wrap.

Breaking In*

Some bored housewife with way too much money to spend finally gets to spend some quality time living out her crazy Christian Slater obsession. I hope the $1,800 goes directly to Slater, as he could probably use the money at this point.

Hook

I have never seen “Hook” (oops). However, I would pay a reasonable amount of money (Note: $14,920 isn’t exactly reasonable) to have a picture of Pirate Dustin Hoffman hanging up in my house.

Valkyrie

I know that Colonel von Stauffenberg in balcony tried to revolt against Hitler. Still, do you really want to own a uniform from a time in German history that, well, even Germany isn’t proud of? I hope to never meet the person who answers “yes” to that question.

Knight and Day

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Somebody might actually try and buy a prop from “Knight and Day.”

*”Breaking In” is a TV show and not a movie. However, I will make a rare exception for this one, because life is short and it isn’t very often that you find an oil painting of Christian Slater posing with a doberman.