Couldn’t have said it better myself, Bill. Image via Washington Times

So here we are again: it turns out that another much loved celebrity is actually a huge jerk.

This time, it’s America’s sweetheart Bill Cosby. The case against Cosby is equal parts strange and sickening. Once the most beloved sitcom dad on television, Cosby’s reputation has recently taken a hit as several rape allegations have been fired against him. The strange part is that these allegations have been public for almost thirty years, yet I didn’t find out about it until recently. Somehow, he found a really good publicist who managed to sweep all this dirt under the rug. Apparently, they didn’t do a thorough enough job cleaning.

Thanks to the power of the internet, no crime can ever be forgotten. Recently, Bill Cosby’s Twitter page asked fans to “meme” him. I am assuming that whoever runs Cosby’s social media is a 90-year-old man who lives in Palm Beach with a very loose grasp of how the internet works. Anyway, that person is probably fired now, given that people shot back with a series of memes that all referenced Cosby’s rape allegations. It was a darkly funny way to bring an important issue to light. It also reminded that despite all the anti-Semites, racists, and misogynists, internet democracy is an amazing thing and worth fighting for.

Since the memes surfaced, the Washington Post published a must-read account from a victim. A few days later, Cosby went on NPR and was given the chance to defend himself. Instead, he refused, and the reporter had to keep explaining that Cosby was shaking his head no. As you can imagine, this is not the best way to try and gain public sympathy.

First off, let’s drop the word “alleged” from now on. While Cosby has never been found guilty, there is enough evidence against him in the court of Twitter to find him guilty. That’s right: grab your torch and pitchforks! It’s time for a good old fashioned celebrity witch hunt! But actually, to discount the case against him at this point is to bring in the nasty game of victim shaming.

Now, this is especially difficult because of Cosby’s reputation. This is Cliff Huxtable we’re talking about. Thinking of him as America’s most beloved TV dad now feels downright gross. It is always difficult to separate actors from their public personas. Here, it is even tougher. This can relate to many similar dilemmas. And no, I will talk about the recent Lena Dunham controversy. I have read the passage in question, and using it to link her to child molestation is downright insane. The conservative blog that accused her of this should be ashamed. And so should I. I will now give myself 50 lashes for voting for a Republican this past election day.

It might seem a bit more fitting to compare Cosby to Woody Allen. Woody Allen was accused of molesting his stepdaughter in 1993. The case resurfaced earlier this year. Many people said they would never watch one of his movies again. It is an understandable reaction, and I thought about doing the same. Yet, I watched Stardust Memories a few weeks ago, and still enjoyed it. I just have this feeling that watching a Cosby Show rerun is going to feel weird now. This is not to say that one person committed a worse crime than the other (both are heinous), but instead to say that this shows the difference between artist and human says a lot.

Both Allen and Cosby are loosely autobiographical comedians. What we see of them onscreen is therefore very close to how they could be in real life. Yet, in reality, we know nothing, Jon Snow. Cosby, both on and off screen, has tried to be a role model. He has spoken about how important education is, and how evil swearing is. Because Cosby has painted himself to be such a saint, his past crimes seem all the worse. While Woody Allen might use his art to make fun of himself, Cosby uses his art to deify himself. It is as if his comedic integrity is now being called into question. There are a lot of artists who have done terrible things, but it is very possible that you can be forgiven if you don’t go around lecturing people all the time.

Pictured: Attractive celebrities/Middle East Ambassadors Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz

It has happened to all of us before. One day, you’re waiting for your favorite celebrity’s new movie to come out. Then, suddenly, you find out that they are some sort of racist, homophobic, perverted alcoholic. They need to recover. And so do you.

Recently, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz (along with a slew of other Spanish celebrities) signed an open letter condemning Israel’s recent actions in Gaza. While some agreed with the content of the letter, others thought that they placed an unfair amount of blame on Israel. Bardem and Cruz later clarified their thoughts on the issue.*

Recently, I was reminded of Mel Gibson’s decade old anti-Semitic rant when my dad told me that Mel Gibson movies were banned from our household. That’s a bummer, given that I was only 20 minutes into Lethal Weapon 2.

These two occurrences are just a few of many that have reminded me that lately, the views of some of my favorite celebrities do not necessarily line up with my own. Once I hear that any celebrity thinks differently than me, watching their work can sometimes feel odd. But I don’t want to give up on them just because of their political views or their crazy personal lives. There has to be a separation of art from the artist. This is a topic that we could debate about for hours.

I have decided to put together a list of questions, thoughts, and possible answers to this topic. Here is what you should or should not do once you find out that your favorite celebrity is a jerk:

Can you watch their movies/TV shows ever again? Some people might adamantly give up on their favorite celebrities forever. Maybe they believe that this is a form of boycott that might actually have a lasting impression. Maybe it could. Hey, Woody Allen’s latest film, Magic in the Moonlight, has not been doing so well. I have not seen it yet, but I would not be surprised if the critical reception and box office numbers weren’t impacted by the recent rape allegations.

This is understandable. After all, why should you pay good money to watch somebody who is just going to make you angry? That ruins the escapist angle of art. However, I don’t think this should exclude watching old things. Maybe Mel Gibson still hated Jews when Braveheart came out, but us innocent moviegoers would have had no way of knowing. Plus, watching one of his movies on cable at 10 PM on a Saturday night will probably not make him any richer.

Mainly, no matter how angry Javier Bardem makes me, you cannot stop me from watching No Country for Old Men.

But seriously, can I watch anything by them? Okay, if something really good comes out, then you can go see it. It won’t make you a bad person or a supporter of their views or actions. One of the many reasons I haven’t seen a Mel Gibson film in years is because he hasn’t made anything that has piqued my interest. However, if Chicken Run 2 came out, you can bet your ass I will be at the midnight showing.

What if that person did something really bad? This question goes all the way back to the Fatty Arbuckle Scandal, an infamous case which led to the creation of the Hays Code. A good modern day example, as previously mentioned, is Woody Allen. Woody Allen is a genius, and like many geniuses before him, he is also not a good person. While Javier Bardem’s views probably don’t inform his performance in Skyfall, Allen’s personal life definitely informs a lot of his work. This is a fact that often straddles the line between creepy and brave. At this point, I don’t necessarily support Allen as a person. However, to morally judge the way he expresses himself seems morally wrong. While he is not honest in real life, Allen shows a degree of honesty in his work.

Blacklisting?? No. Just no. People are entitled to their opinions, no matter how much you might disagree with them. Banning an actor from getting work probably won’t end racism or homophobia. Go talk to your congressman about that instead.

What do celebrities know? Just remember: at the end of the day, life is meaningless, time is a flat circle, and we all know nothing. If you want to say, “what does she know…she was in Vanilla Sky,” then so be it. In fact, you would not be wrong. It seems wrong for a celebrity to stick their nose into a situation they are clearly uneducated about. However, if you are going to say that about one celebrity, then maybe you should say that about all celebrities. Unless their job is to watch or report the news, then what separates a model, an actor, and a comedian? Everybody deserves the right to free speech and opinion. However, maybe it is best to know that just because somebody makes something you like, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to like them.

Here are some beloved people you didn’t know were bad/idiots: Bill Cosby (rape allegations), Alec Baldwin (a-hole), Bryan Singer (alleged sexual assault), Paula Deen (racism), every Times Square mascot (various)

*I just want to be as clear as possible: I do not believe that criticizing Israel means that you are anti-Semitic (unless, you know, you’re shouting about killing Jews). The world is not black and white.

Here’s where I would make a Kroll Show reference if any of you watched it. Image via Salon

I hate to say it, but summer movies make me feel more and more cynical by the day. It is a bad sign when “good enough” seems like the nicest thing you can say about any given movie.

Sometimes, it feels like Hollywood has lost so much faith in itself that it needs to have a million different voices contributing to just one project. Just look at The Amazing Spider-Man 2: it feels like every person on the Sony lot, from a top studio executive to a random janitor, got to contribute their ideas to the final product. Plus, with all of the sequels and remakes coming out, it feels like there isn’t a single authentic voice left in Hollywood anymore. I have no interest in seeing another superhero movie again, and I will repeat that to myself begrudgingly while buying a ticket for X-Men: Days of Future Past. Hey, it is good enough.

While not all original ideas are good (see: In Your Eyes), I nevertheless appreciate and celebrate every time film embraces something new, as opposed to something that can be turned into a toy six months before the movie actually comes out. There are some films to be excited about this summer, and I would like to take some time to acknowledge them. Here is a list I have compiled of five upcoming films that celebrate good ideas and likable people. Here are five upcoming summer films that might make all of the cynicism go away:

5. Magic in the Moonlight (July 25)

Personal issues aside, a new Woody Allen film is always an exciting event for me. There are certain “best of” lists I make that I have to build around one of his films. Even when Allen is not at his best (*cough* To Rome with Love *cough*), he always makes something at least worth a few extra thoughts once the final credits roll. Plus, I am not going to argue with a cast that includes Colin Firth and Emma Stone.

4. Life Itself (July 4)

Just as any aspiring critic will tell you, Roger Ebert is a hero of mine. He taught everybody that criticism could be as thoughtful and creative as the creative works that you are critiquing. Life Itself, a documentary based on Ebert’s autobiography of the same name, recounts his larger-than-life experiences. It seems like everyday film criticism loses relevance, as more and more people who write reviews for a living get laid off by people who just don’t get it. Ebert’s death last year was the sad end of an era. Roger Ebert was the first celebrity critic ever. Yet, he never resorted to soundbites or pulled quotes. Here is somebody who only wrote exactly what he felt. Maybe he wasn’t always right, but he always made a good point.

3. Boyhood (July 11)

Richard Linklater’s latest film received rave reviews when it debuted at Sundance earlier this year. In order to accurately capture the aging of the lead child actor, Linklater filmed Boyhood in bits and pieces over a 12 year period. This idea is so interesting and ambitious and proves that Linklater is secretly one of America’s most innovative filmmakers. Remember, this is the same dude that also directed Dazed & Confused, School of Rock, and Bernie. Linklater defies formula, and therefore no two of his films are the same. Each one is its own, unique little snowflake. Now, excuse me while I slap myself in the face for writing that sentence.

2. Obvious Child (June 6)

I have watched the trailer for Obvious Child multiple times because it makes me indescribably happy. It may be crazy that this is the only way I felt over an indie dramedy about abortion that looks like it may take an even darker turn than Juno did. Part of my excitement might come from the fact that it stars Richard Kind as a father figure. Or more importantly, Obvious Child will allow America’s newest sweetheart Jenny Slate to show off acting chops. But more importantly, there’s gonna be pee-farting. Any film that takes on a serious topic while taking a moment to joke about pee-farting deserves all of the love and praise in the world.

1. They Came Together (June 27)

It may be fitting that my number one choice for this list is a takedown of what has become one of the most cynical genres out there: the romantic comedy. They Came Together will hopefully prove once again why the geniuses behind The State/Wet Hot American Summer/Stella are still a force to be reckoned with. They Came Together also happens to star America’s two other sweethearts, Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler, who make anything more likable just by showing up. The trailer itself is hilarious, and it makes me fear that they are giving away all of the best scenes before I even get a chance to watch the full film. However, if Role Models (also directed by David Wain) taught me anything, it’s that this comedy crew’s best material is so absurd that it simply would not work in a trailer. If They Came Together makes getting a football thrown in your face ironic on multiple levels, then I have a feeling this will be the best comedy of the summer.

According to scientists, about 95% of the world’s ocean remains unexplored. One could say the same about eBay.

Today is a day that will live in infamy. It is the day that the Velociraptor Cage from “Jurassic Park,” which influenced this post, was no longer listed on eBay. It’s whereabouts, and the final price it was sold for, will remain shrouded in history.

But you know what they say: if you love something set it free. So from that we move on to this week’s selection of memorabilia. Folks, this week did not disappoint. In fact, I found so many that I will have to save them for another post.

I learned a lot from this week’s selection. Mainly that there are a lot of “Titanic” props on eBay. Enough so that being a “Titanic Prop Dealer” (as seen in the certificate above) is an actual job title that someone can have. Given what an epic film that is, I believe there will be no shortage of props until the day somebody finally begins selling off chunks of the actual boat. Seriously, the “Titanic” prop business is just about big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ. Also, let me just note that I have absolutely no idea what can get you listed on the NASDAQ; I just heard Walter White say this on “Breaking Bad” once and it sounded cool.

Anyway, come and join me for yet another exciting trip down the eBay rabbit hole:

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Yes, I checked, and no, it does not come with a life-size naked Mike Myers replica.

Capote

Apparently, the acceptable amount of time to wait to profit off the death of another human being is one week.

Deep Blue Sea

No thank you. I’ll just watch this on loop. 

Jingle All the Way

This is consumerism at its finest: a fake toy in a movie launches comic books and costumes. And then you can buy all of that stuff in real life. What I am really trying to say is I love that scene where Arnold says “nice doggie” to a reindeer before he punches it in the face.

Magnolia

This would make a great addition to your collection of plague toys that you bring out during that part of the Passover Seder. And yes, I am aware that only about three people understand what I am talking about.

Manhattan

I have no intention on giving my opinion about the Woody Allen molestation scandal. I wish they would just resolve the rest of it privately, because a lot of innocent people have gotten hurt from it. Anyway, I am just glad that they didn’t sell this as “a special item that was touched by an accused child molester!”

 The Terminator

This is really cool and all. It comes from a classic and it replicates a piece of technology that doesn’t really exist anymore. But if you want me to buy your product, you might want to spell the name of the film correctly. Unless of course, there is a low budget Norwegian knockoff called “Terminater.” And if such a film exists, I should probably drop everything and watch it right now.

Titanic

“Happy Valentine’s Day! I took out a second mortgage to pay for your gift!”

Total Recall

Question: Does it or does it not come with the alien with three boobs? This is an important question.

The Wolf of Wall Street

I was distracted enough by the insanity (boobs, orgies, cocaine, more cocaine) of “The Wolf of Wall Street” that it didn’t even occur to me to pay close attention to the set design. Based on this painting, brokers have really terrible taste in art. This looks more like something a freshman girl would probably hang up in her dorm room.

I miss these guys.

Last night’s Golden Globes ceremony was filled with surprises. Frankly, a night of surprises is much better than a night where everything goes according to plan.

While a lot of talented people and deserving films and TV shows went home empty handed, it was a pure joy to see Matthew McConaughey take on his Wooderson persona while finally being awarded for his recent career renaissance. In just a few seconds, all of those years he spent in rom-com limbo were virtually forgotten.

While Tina Fey and Amy Poehler might not have been as good as they were last year (though that Clooney line from the opening monologue killed it), they are still Tina Fey and Amy Poehler so their presence alone makes me happy enough. The Globes are not as exciting as the Oscars, but it sure is fun to see Emma Thompson stand on stage barefoot while many winners actually looked genuinely surprised when their names were called.

Read below for a detailed breakdown of some of the highlights of the night. Here is what I liked, what I didn’t like, and what I still don’t have definite feelings about:

What I Liked

Leonardo DiCaprio- I was really rooting for Oscar Isaac in this category, even if he really didn’t stand a chance. However, Leo’s performance was a seriously incredible feat in so many ways. He pulled off feats of physical comedy that few skilled comedians could ever pull off as well as he did. While the Globes have no direct impact on the Oscars, they are one of the early important awards shows and often set the mood for the rest of the season. I would not be surprised if this “Leo Needs to Win an Oscar” campaign grows bigger and louder in the weeks to come.

Spike Jonze- Jonze won for “Her.” His win was a very welcome surprise. “Her” was everything a great screenplay should be: equal parts funny and sad, with a strong hint of honesty thrown into the mix. “Her” felt like it Jonze’s most personal effort yet, while it also thought up one of the most plausible portrayals of the future on film. Oh, and it is a beautiful look at love in the 21st century. Sometimes, you just have to look into the future in order to understand the present.

The Big Bang Theory- I normally don’t like to wish ill on anybody, but I tend to reserve most of my anger in life for “The Big Bang Theory.” I am glad that it didn’t win anything. While this show is an easy target, it deserves all of the scorn it gets, as it barely has a funny bone in its body. It seems weird that it keeps getting nominated for things despite the fact that the best show about nerds is “Community.” With stale one-liners and laugh track throughout, “The Big Bang Theory” seems like it belongs in a bygone era. TV has progressed so much in recent years, and “The Big Bang Theory” seems to be bringing it back into the past.

Diddy- He really is his character from “Get Him to the Greek.” Please get this guy in more comedies.

What I Didn’t Like

U2 Wins An Award- It’s about time Bono won something! I haven’t seen “Mandela” yet or heard “Ordinary Love” (note: I can already tell from the title of it alone that I will probably hate this song), so maybe my hatred for Bono is clouding my judgement. Or maybe I am just upset that “Please Mr. Kennedy” didn’t win. That was the last chance that song had, given that it is not eligible for an Oscar. Few people could ever write a song that is as cheesy as it is catchy. My feelings about the winner of this category can best be summed up by this Tweet:

American Hustle: I am not trying to put “American Hustle” down here. In a strong category, it may have been the weakest film. After a second viewing, some of the film’s weak points began to show. Mainly, it loses momentum, which makes the film feel even longer than “The Wolf of Wall Street,” despite being an hour shorter. Also, it is not fair to consider it as a comedy. It is a fun, entertaining drama. I wrote more about it in an article for PolicyMic. #shameless #self #promotion #isweariwillneverputahashtaginapostagain

Jennifer Lawrence: No offense to Mrs. Lawrence. She was great, if a little miscast, in “American Hustle.” However, the Best Supporting Actress award belonged to June Squibb for her performance as a loud, proud matriarch in “Nebraska.” The cemetary scene has been the one that most people have been talking about, and for good reason. However, her greatest moment is when she defends her husband Woody (Bruce Dern) against his entire family. It’s a moment that actually made me want to stand up and cheer.

Tatiana Maslany- No offense for Mrs. Wright, but Tataina Maslany’s performance in “Orphan Black” is unlike any on television right now. Maslany plays multiple characters, all with different personalities, who often have to talk to each other, and it is always believable. It is one of the most demanding performances I have ever seen, and Maslany always pulls it off. Luckily, “Orphan Black” is still young, and there is still time to give Tatiana Maslany every award ever.

How Do I Feel About This?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine- Much of the hatred towards “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” seems to be unfounded. It is a solid comedy that quickly recovered from a weak first few episodes, and its win for Best Comedy was a welcome surprise. In a short amount of time, the show has already created a strong sense of familiarity amongst its characters, and it includes a few standout performances, especially from Terry Crews, Stephanie Beatriz, and Andre Braugher. However, the show hasn’t even been on for a full season. “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” still needs time to progress and mature even further. It has yet to stand on the sturdy foundation that “Parks and Recreation” has spent six seasons building. It is not that “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” doesn’t deserve to win, it is just that this honor seemed a little premature. But hey, anything is better than another victory for “The Big Bang Theory.”

Woody Allen- That montage of all of his films really made me want to drop everything and have a Woody Allen marathon. However, the fact that he didn’t show up made the Cecil B. DeMille honor that he received just a little less special. Maybe it was believable in the 1970s that he wouldn’t come to Los Angeles, but Allen has now shot films in London, Paris, Rome, and San Francisco, so we know that he’s not afraid to leave New York anymore. It probably wouldn’t have been too much effort on Woody’s part if he had at least submitted a pre-taped thank you. Instead, we got a bizarre speech from Diane Keaton, wearing her “Annie Hall” outfit sans hat. Her speech was like that scene from every movie where a character tries really hard to distract the bad guy while somebody tries to stop the bomb from going off.