The Biggest Movies of the Holiday Season 2014 According to Your Grandparents


PICTURED: Where your grandparents live

Every time one season ends and a new season begins, there is a tendency to compile a list of which upcoming films will probably be the best. This is fun to do, but the biggest flaw in doing so is that, in the end, it is tough to write about films that you have not seen.

In response to this, I decided to devise a more fun way to talk about what is coming out in the months ahead. Everybody knows that nobody comes up with more creative, albeit wrong, titles for movies than your grandparents. I did it in the summer, and I did it in the fall, and now I am going to try it out again. If I decided to take a trip down to Florida and survey everybody who was playing a game of shuffleboard, this is what they would say are the biggest movies coming out this fall:

A Most Violent Year: The History of Violence

Annie: Dont Say It, Grandma!

Cake: The One With The Girl From Friends

Exodus: Gods and Kings: The Ten Commandments

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies: The Hobbit: A Sorcerer’s Stone

Inherent Vice: Miami Vice

The Interview: Did I Ever Tell You About That Time I Fought In The Korean War

The Theory of Everything: The Big Bang Theory

Unbroken: This Looks Wonderful

Wild: Where the Wild Ones Are