“Take the Oscar decorations down from the tree,” Joe said to his son Timmy, “also, why are you decorating our lawn for an awards show?”

And now that the Oscars are over, we must face the reality of February and the six more weeks of winter that moron groundhog gave us. Look, I know that in the grand scheme of things, the Oscars are pointless. But you know what else is? The Super Bowl. Yet, nobody is ever criticized for caring too much about the score of the game. The Oscars give us something to laugh at, something to yell at, but most importantly, it gives us something to bond with other people over.

Last night’s ceremony was one of the worst in recent memory. It was bloated and overlong. Yet, I can’t argue with some of the winners, and that “some” is more than most years. However, I would love to teach voters what “screenplay” and “writing” mean. Anyway, a lot of people are angry that Boyhood didn’t win Best Picture, and rightfully so. However, just keep in mind that winning an Oscar is sometimes the worst thing for a film’s legacy. But hey, in terms of films it could have lost to, Birdman isn’t half bad.

Every show will include just as many highlights as outrages. So here are the things I liked, the things I didn’t like, and the things I’m not sure about from last night’s ceremony:

I Liked Some Things

Everything Is Awesome: Much like The Lego Movie itself, this musical number blew all my expectations out of the water. This was like watching a really giddy acid trip come to life. Legos sang. A dude in a cowboy hat carried a dead dog around. Andy Samberg was on the freaking Oscar stage. It was wildly fun, imaginative, and the kind of untamed, uncynical mess that the Academy Awards could use a lot more of.

Julianne Moore: This feels so just, and so earned. A lot of Oscars are given to honor an entire body of work, and you can point to every part of her career where an Oscar should have been.

Graham Moore (a.k.a. More Moore): Yes, I really wanted Whiplash to win this. I thought The Imitation Game script was the weakest part of an otherwise solid film. However, Graham Moore’s acceptance speech was genuine and sweet. I hope some kid in North Dakota heard him say “stay weird” and immediately hopped in a u-haul and headed towards Portland.

John Travolta: I have no idea what happened to the awesomely suave dude from Saturday Night Fever and Pulp Fiction. Watching his alien robot wiring malfunction two years in a row has been the most spectacularly strange spectacle to witness. It embodies the other reason people watch the Oscars: to see a possible live trainwreck in action. Watching him grab Idina Menzel’s face was like watching Oh Dae-su grab that girl’s face for the first time after being deprived of human contact for years in Oldboy. What I am trying to say is that either John Travolta has a murderous streak in him, or he is an alien trying to learn our secrets.

I Didn’t Like Some Things

The Jokes: Maybe it is time to let Bruce Vilanch go? I don’t know, all I am saying is that maybe it isn’t the best idea to give an award to a film about Edward Snowden, and then call him a traitor. Maybe don’t ever say things you will later regret? YouTube exists. These things will live on forever.

Clips: Somebody please do an investigation into who finds the Oscar clips. They spoiled key scenes in Gone Girl and Wild. Another showed Benedict Cumberbatch shouting, “Heil Hitler!”

Eddie Redmayne: Eddie Redmayne is a charming fellow who gave a nice speech. However, I still hold firm to my belief that his performance was a variation of Simple Jack. No disrespect, Mr. Hawking.

The Sound of Music Musical Number: What do you do when your show is already running a half hour overtime? Throw in a musical tribute to a 50 year old film that nobody asked for! To be fair, good job Lady Gaga.

J.K. Simmons: Thanks for getting us in hot water with all our parents, dude.

I Don’t Know How To Feel About These Things!

Neil Patrick Harris: When it was announced that NPH would be hosting this year’s Oscars, it seemed like a no brainer. After all, this guy knows nothing but breathing and hosting. However, his performance tonight was off. I am not sure if it was because the jokes were pretty terrible, or if he seemed a bit too mean-spirited for somebody who usually seems so nice. Having said that, hosting an awards show is a thankless job. You’re steering a ship that everybody wishes would crash. Take what I am saying with a grain of salt; this opinion is coming from a kid who thought Seth MacFarlane was a good host.

Birdman Wins Best Picture: Just a few months ago, critics and audiences alike were getting ready to build a golden statue of Michael Keaton. Then, word spread that Birdman was an Oscar frontrunner and suddenly, people decided to let all of their negative opinions out now. The timing seems a little weird. Where were you all months ago to facilitate a balanced and nuanced conversation?

Anyway, I liked Birdman a lot. Boyhood  was extraordinary. My favorite film of the year was Whiplash but depending on the day, I might have said Boyhood or Birdman instead. But now that Birdman sits on the throne, it must endure the worst nitpicking. Sure, it might not have been the best choice this year (like I said, Whiplash was my favorite but Boyhood made the most sense as an Oscar winner), but it was still an interesting choice. This was a film that at least tried and succeeded at challenging the status quo. It had weird drama and even weirder comedy. Sure, it was a film about show business (Broadway, not Hollywood), but the Academy rarely honors interesting films. I know we are all upset that Richard Linklater can’t go back to Austin with a hunk of gold, take comfort in the fact that Birdman‘s win might actually encourage voters to make bolder choices.

Image via Hitfix

The statement “while I do not agree with some of the nominations, I am happy about most of them” could literally be said every single year. Time is a freaking flat circle.

There have already been a lot of complaints going around, mainly about the lack of Selma (my review and thoughts on that to come). With a strong presence of films like The Imitation Game and The Theory of Everything (NOTE: I haven’t seen either of these yet, so I am guessing here), this was a year made for Oscar movies rather than movies that actually deserved Oscars. However, the ambitious Boyhood and Birdman lead the pack. In order to finally get some Oscar love, Alejandro Inarritu had to finally stop making Oscar movies.

There are many deserving nominees this year. Here are a few I especially loved:

Emma Stone

It is hard to steal the spotlight in a film that is commanded by Michael Keaton and Edward Norton, but Emma Stone really proved her worth in Birdman. I never thought she was a bad actress, but I never knew she was this good. Birdman happens to be the kind of film that forces actors to be at the top of their game. Her monologue about being relevant still shakes me from time to time.

Everything Is Awesome

The Lego Movie‘s egregious snub for Best Animated Feature had everybody shouting, “everything is not awesome!” Weird, as this morning started off so well for the Lego Movie team: the first nomination announced was “Everything Is Awesome” for Best Original Song. This ode to being a square is one of the most joyous songs written this year. The best part was listening to a room full of crusty old Hollywood types gasp as J.J. Abrams announced this nomination.

Inherent Vice

Adapting Thomas Pynchon is not for the faint at heart, and Paul Thomas Anderson was certainly up for the task. Inherent Vice comes to no clear conclusions and strays so far from the three act structure that it sometimes feels more like a collection of stoned weirdos than an actual movie. By the way, that is a compliment.

Rosamund Pike

Well, at least the Academy made room for one terrifying sociopath.

Wes Anderson

The Grand Budapest Hotel is not my favorite Wes Anderson film (alas, I still loved it). However, a Best Director nomination for him has been a long overdue. Sure, it’s fun to crack jokes about his silly scarves and quirkiness, but let’s not forget that Anderson is by far one of the most original American directors working today and that The Grand Budapest Hotel had him going to some fantastically dark places. To celebrate, Wes Anderson grabbed a couple of burgers with Royal Tenenbaum and hit the cemetery.

Whiplash

Whiplash was my favorite film of the year, so by default I am happy about this. I honestly didn’t think it would make the Best Picture cut, despite some of the best reviews of the year. After all, this is basically a horror movie, and the Academy hates those. Whiplash is basically an anti-Oscar movie that sticks it to the those traditional tales of triumphing against all odds. Hey guys, the Oscars take risks sometimes.

“Does Lorelei Linklater look bored?” “No she’s not bored…that’s just the way her face looks…” Image via Yahoo

Tonight, I saw the best of the Globes, and the worst of the Globes.

I saw some truly deserving winners. I saw some truly headscratching ones, and others that were victims to genre confusion. That is an accurate way to describe about any awards show. However, there was something weird in the air at this year’s ceremony. It probably started when the entire audience couldn’t handle a Bill Cosby joke. But most likely, it was because I felt like I was being judged the entire time by Amal Clooney, who is clearly smarter and more accomplished than I will ever be in my entire life.

I hope you have all recovered from my Pulitizer Prize winning Golden Globes Drinking Game and are ready for the highlight reel. I have decided to put the show together in a neat little package, going through the things I liked and didn’t like about the show. Overall, I don’t really know what to say about a show that leaves Whiplash and Valerie Cherish off the shortlist, but here we go:

What I Liked

Patricia Arquette What a wonderful lady. What an amazing performance in Boyhood. What a deserved win. She is what every Manic Pixie Dreamgirl should be.

George Clooney Clooney is one of the last movie stars out there, which is what people say about every movie star. Clooney received the Lifetime Achievement Award and despite the fact that he is neither dead nor in diapers, he has achieved so much. On top of his great speech was a highlight reel that showed the diverse range of roles throughout his careers. But the most important part of it all: his involvement in South Park.

Fargo It is great to see that this tremendous new show got love where the Emmys missed out. Noah Hawley’s words about kindness were by far one of the most genuine speeches of the night.

Jeffrey Tambor I still have not watched Transparent, but I cannot say enough kind words about Jeffrey Tambor. Seriously, somebody who has had as good a career as he has does not need to be this humble. He is like the kind, wise old man that you would go talk to after you had enough of your own grandparents.

The Grand Budapest Hotel So I was rooting really hard for Birdman, but The Grand Budapest Hotel is not a bad spoiler. Plus, we got to see Wes Anderson wear a crooked bowtie and then give a speech that shows that he is aware of how weird you think he is.

What I Didn’t Like

Those Entrances Winners ran up to the stage through this weird, secret passage that resembled the Aztec Tomb. The extra time it took to shoot each one of them confusedly stumbling through it is probably the main reason that the show ran long.

Politics Schmolitics Trans rights. Civil rights. Je Suis Charlie. These are all important topics that deserve exposure, and a platform like this is a perfect place for it. However, once you have Jared Leto preaching peace in Europe, then you know you have a problem. By the end of the night, the ceremony sort of felt like a smug version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

The Lego Movie While I have not seen How to Train Your Dragon 2, I will stand next to The Lego Movie until I am too tired to stand and have to sit down and check my phone once more.

Terrible Chemistry Let’s stop with the random presenter pairs, which were probably made via drunken sorting hat. I never want to have to endure another moment of Jeremy Renner (a fine actor who also happens to look like a loaf of Wonder Bread) talking about JLo’s boobs. This is a real sentence I just typed.

Hollywood’s Reaction to Bill Cosby Jokes Tina & Amy had a few good lines at the expense of America’s creepiest former father figure. The lines were expectadly met with gasps and groans. Let’s not treat it like the two of them were taking a risk and going there with these jokes. It is just more proof that people who attend awards show like the Golden Globes probably have a bespectacled twentysomething check social media for them. PS Hire me!

What I Feel Indifferent About

The Affair As much as I wish that I could rip on The Affair, I have not watched it yet. I have heard some good things about it, but this might be the Brooklyn Nine-Nine of the year: honored before it really hits its stride (by the way Brooklyn Nine-Nine was snubbed this year). Even your mom is upset that The Affair won Best Drama, and it is on Showtime. Showtime is HBO for parents.

Prince Prince is great, but I guess I grew up in the wrong time so I don’t revere him like a god. Therefore, I am just as confused as I am fascinated by the fact that he can get away with getting a category name wrong (he referred to Best Song as Best Score) while making the Blue Steel face. Seriously, is his face stuck on Blue Steel?

Tina & Amy Fey and Poehler are goddesses. Sadly, this is their last year hosting the Globes. However, their lack of screen time gave me an overall meh vibe and–[gets blindfolded and wakes up in Gulag]

I nominate Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner as next year’s hosts.

Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with celebrities getting behind political causes. Just remember, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it and for some reason, Jared Leto seems to think he’s a modern Christ figure. Christ figures are for high school English class, Leto.

The Reel Deal Podcast is back. I give a little life update followed by a talk about the future of film (hyperbolic, I know), and why, as a storyteller, authenticity is more important than originality.

Nowadays, the pervasive narrative is that film is dead and television is better. This statement is only half true. While television is better than ever before, cinema isn’t doing too badly, either.

Most of my film experiences this summer were nothing but pleasant. Besides anything Michael Bay had his name on, there were very few complaints to be had about the intelligence of Hollywood blockbusters (in retrospect, I even enjoyed Winter Solider). In the art house world, some directors were doing things with the form that nobody has done before. Well, that happened in the blockbuster world as well.

Film is in a transitional period. This was the summer of On Demand, where a lot of films were available on your TV set the same day they were playing in select theaters. While I still prefer a trip to the theater any chance I get, it was nice to have access to the sort of films that usually don’t expand nationwide. It is too bad this wasn’t around when I was a high schooler yearning for my hometown to be a hip, indie place.

Here are my top six films of summer 2014. I choose six because math is irrelevant to me:

6. Obvious Child

There is nothing like a good summer indie to get away from all of the blockbuster explosions. Obvious Child was the breath of fresh air I needed. While Obvious Child wasn’t the most original romantic comedy ever made, it was never trying to be. In this tale of abortion, the one thing it is striving for is honesty, and that is exactly what it achieves. Plus, Jenny Slate delivers a career-defining performance. She turns all the noises she makes and fart jokes she tells into art.

5. 22 Jump Street

With both The Lego Movie and 22 Jump Street under their belts, Phil Lord and Chris Miller have made two of the best movies of the year. By seamlessly combining action and comedy, 22 Jump Street is the rare sequel that manages to surpass the original. It takes meta to the extreme without crashing and burning. Oh, and it is hilarious. At this point, Lord and Miller could film a pile of dog poop for three hours and everyone in America would pay to see it.

4. The Immigrant

This film about the American Dream does not shy away from the grittiness of history that historical films often try to conceal. The Immigrant contains a great performance from Marion Cotillard and a mesmerizing one from Joaquin Phoenix. It concludes with an ambiguous final shot that will one day be studied in film classes. In terms of stories of dirty, miserable, early 20th century New York, The Immigrant is a fine companion piece with The Knick (which you all should be watching).

3. Snowpiercer

The best of summer indies combined with the best of summer blockbusters make for the most entertaining allegory in ages. Chris Evans proves that he is an action star for the ages, and Tilda Swinton proves that she can play anything, even if you don’t understand what her character is. Snowpiercer is about rebellion, the class system, and even God. Not to get all current event-y here, but look at some of the recent events happening in Ferguson or the Middle East, and tell me that doesn’t remind you of Snowpiercer at all.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy

Contemporary blockbusters have two settings: they are either grim and gritty, or goofy and self-aware. By being both goofy and sincere, Guardians of the Galaxy is the first comic book adaptation in a long time that manages to be both. Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the funniest movies so far this year, and it gets all of its humor based off of its characters, which you wouldn’t normally see in a giant space opera. I have seen Guardians of the Galaxy twice and purchased a Rocket Raccoon action figure. Guardians reminded me why I love to write about movies in the first place.

1. Boyhood

This coming-of-age epic was twelve years in the making and worth the wait. The way Boyhood was made is an achievement on its own, so the fact that it was actually good is pretty amazing. This is the first film I have seen that I feel like really captured my childhood, though people that grew up in every generation have said the same. Richard Linklater’s ability to hold my attention for nearly three hours with nothing but conversations and small milestones is miraculous. If Patricia Arquette, Ethan Hawke, and most of the other people involved don’t get Oscar nominations, then I will be extremely disappointed. There are so many moments in Boyhood that could have turned out to be terribly corny (“we don’t seize the moment…the moment seizes us”), but the overall authenticity truly sells it. Guardians of the Galaxy made me remember why I love movies, while Boyhood made me remember why I love life, even in all of its triumphs and failures.

Honorable Mentions: Life Itself, Edge of Tomorrow, X-Men: Days of Future Past, They Came Together

The amazing part about Boyhood, well, one of the amazing parts, is that it is so relatable on a broad scale, despite being incredibly specific. Boyhood understands so many basic parts of the human experience but hey, most kids from Connecticut don’t get a shotgun on their fifteenth birthday.

Boyhood is one of those films that critics save up all of their hyperboles for. You can call it amazing and you can call it groundbreaking and it both instances it wouldn’t sound like you were exaggerating. In this case, listen to the hype.

You might already know the story of how Boyhood was made. Twelve years ago, Richard Linklater first pointed a camera at six-year-old Ellar Coltrane and then filmed a little bit of the story each year for the next twelve years. It is a wholly unique way to make a film, and it makes for a film that is like no other.

Coltrane plays Mason, who starts the film as a boy and ends it as somebody who is figuring out how to be a man. Mason hails from Texas and lives in a broken home, with his mom (Patricia Arquette) doing everything she can to keep the family afloat, while his dad (Ethan Hawke) shows up every other weekend to take him and his sister (Lorelei Linklater) on some sort of awesome trip. Explaining any further story would probably serve no purpose. Linklater’s best films (with the exception of School of Rock and Bernie) run on people rather than plot devices.

In terms of story, Boyhood is both a familiar and a unique coming-of-age story. It contains kids making mistakes, and adults giving advice. Yet, even the cliches feel fresh. The wonderful thing about a visual medium like film is that it is not just about the story you tell, but how you are telling that story. Linklater gets this, and it often feels like he is pointing the camera in such a direction that nobody has pointed it before. There is just so much light shining through this film, and even when it does get dark, it still maintains the perfect level of bright optimism.

Boyhood is mostly about memories, and how fleeting they are and how we do everything to try and capture them. It is therefore fitting that Mason is a photographer and, like Linklater, he tries the best he can to capture ordinary life just a little differently than anybody else. One shot in the film sticks out in particular. It is the opening shot as well as the film’s poster: Mason lays out on what seems like an infinite field staring up at the sky. It turns out he is really just laying down on a little grassy corner in the schoolyard. Mason sees something we don’t see. He is just a young boy in this small town yet everything seems so huge to him. Boyhood is about Mason both realizing who he is while trying to invite us into his authentic worldview.

As Mason, Coltrane gives a brilliant and ever-evolving performance. He has a long career ahead of him, although this might just be the most challenging thing that he ever does. As parents, Arquette and Hawke make perfect opposites. Arquette is a multi-dimensional mother with too much on her plate, and Hawke is the quintessential fun dad who knows the right things to say at the exact right moments. Just like Mason, the two of them grow over the course of twelve years.

Boyhood is the rare film that has to be seen in theaters not because of the spectacle, but because of the shared experience. Three hours fly by and by the end, it will feel like some of Mason’s memories are your own as well. Everything that is in it works much better than you could ever imagine. A character can spout out a line like “we don’t seize the moment–the moment seizes us” and somehow it doesn’t sound like a Jaden Smith Tweet. At certain moments, Boyhood brought tears to my eyes, not out of sadness, but because I felt like I was watching my own life unfold in front of me. Sure, that might sound dumb, but sometimes when you love a film this much, it makes you say really stupid things.

Brain Farts From The Edge

• Yes, I already bought the soundtrack.
• This film is so good that Soak Up The Sun is now stuck in my head.
• Boyhood might be the first film I have seen that is a period piece about my childhood, which, like Mason’s, occurred mostly in the early 2000s. Boyhood is a period piece that changes during every single year it takes place. I need to write a separate piece about this.
• Think of Boyhood as an easier to digest version of The Tree of Life. It asks all of the same philosophical questions, but without the dinosaurs.
• Patricia Arquette should win an Oscar for her final scene alone.
• With the Texas setting and meandering conversations, I consider Boyhood to be a sort of unofficial sequel to Dazed and Confused. One fun little easter egg: the liquor store clerk from Dazed makes a little cameo in Boyhood.
• Boyhood is somewhere between a drama and a comedy. Linklater never goes for cheap laughs or dramatic moments. When there is a laugh, it is earned. When something terrible happens, there has already been plenty of buildup to it beforehand. Boyhood is a masterclass of plants and payoffs.
• Boyhood is basically the cinematic equivalent of Arcade Fire’s The Suburbs.
• Texas Fun Fact: Texans say a pledge to the Texas flag after reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.
• For a brief moment, Boyhood really made me want to move to Texas. Good work, Linklater.
• A second viewing needs to happen some time soon.

Here’s where I would make a Kroll Show reference if any of you watched it. Image via Salon

I hate to say it, but summer movies make me feel more and more cynical by the day. It is a bad sign when “good enough” seems like the nicest thing you can say about any given movie.

Sometimes, it feels like Hollywood has lost so much faith in itself that it needs to have a million different voices contributing to just one project. Just look at The Amazing Spider-Man 2: it feels like every person on the Sony lot, from a top studio executive to a random janitor, got to contribute their ideas to the final product. Plus, with all of the sequels and remakes coming out, it feels like there isn’t a single authentic voice left in Hollywood anymore. I have no interest in seeing another superhero movie again, and I will repeat that to myself begrudgingly while buying a ticket for X-Men: Days of Future Past. Hey, it is good enough.

While not all original ideas are good (see: In Your Eyes), I nevertheless appreciate and celebrate every time film embraces something new, as opposed to something that can be turned into a toy six months before the movie actually comes out. There are some films to be excited about this summer, and I would like to take some time to acknowledge them. Here is a list I have compiled of five upcoming films that celebrate good ideas and likable people. Here are five upcoming summer films that might make all of the cynicism go away:

5. Magic in the Moonlight (July 25)

Personal issues aside, a new Woody Allen film is always an exciting event for me. There are certain “best of” lists I make that I have to build around one of his films. Even when Allen is not at his best (*cough* To Rome with Love *cough*), he always makes something at least worth a few extra thoughts once the final credits roll. Plus, I am not going to argue with a cast that includes Colin Firth and Emma Stone.

4. Life Itself (July 4)

Just as any aspiring critic will tell you, Roger Ebert is a hero of mine. He taught everybody that criticism could be as thoughtful and creative as the creative works that you are critiquing. Life Itself, a documentary based on Ebert’s autobiography of the same name, recounts his larger-than-life experiences. It seems like everyday film criticism loses relevance, as more and more people who write reviews for a living get laid off by people who just don’t get it. Ebert’s death last year was the sad end of an era. Roger Ebert was the first celebrity critic ever. Yet, he never resorted to soundbites or pulled quotes. Here is somebody who only wrote exactly what he felt. Maybe he wasn’t always right, but he always made a good point.

3. Boyhood (July 11)

Richard Linklater’s latest film received rave reviews when it debuted at Sundance earlier this year. In order to accurately capture the aging of the lead child actor, Linklater filmed Boyhood in bits and pieces over a 12 year period. This idea is so interesting and ambitious and proves that Linklater is secretly one of America’s most innovative filmmakers. Remember, this is the same dude that also directed Dazed & Confused, School of Rock, and Bernie. Linklater defies formula, and therefore no two of his films are the same. Each one is its own, unique little snowflake. Now, excuse me while I slap myself in the face for writing that sentence.

2. Obvious Child (June 6)

I have watched the trailer for Obvious Child multiple times because it makes me indescribably happy. It may be crazy that this is the only way I felt over an indie dramedy about abortion that looks like it may take an even darker turn than Juno did. Part of my excitement might come from the fact that it stars Richard Kind as a father figure. Or more importantly, Obvious Child will allow America’s newest sweetheart Jenny Slate to show off acting chops. But more importantly, there’s gonna be pee-farting. Any film that takes on a serious topic while taking a moment to joke about pee-farting deserves all of the love and praise in the world.

1. They Came Together (June 27)

It may be fitting that my number one choice for this list is a takedown of what has become one of the most cynical genres out there: the romantic comedy. They Came Together will hopefully prove once again why the geniuses behind The State/Wet Hot American Summer/Stella are still a force to be reckoned with. They Came Together also happens to star America’s two other sweethearts, Paul Rudd and Amy Poehler, who make anything more likable just by showing up. The trailer itself is hilarious, and it makes me fear that they are giving away all of the best scenes before I even get a chance to watch the full film. However, if Role Models (also directed by David Wain) taught me anything, it’s that this comedy crew’s best material is so absurd that it simply would not work in a trailer. If They Came Together makes getting a football thrown in your face ironic on multiple levels, then I have a feeling this will be the best comedy of the summer.

Never thought J.K. Simmons could look this scary. Image via Sundance Film Guide

Unfortunately, I did not get to attend the Sundance Film Festival this year. This is tough, because if you’ve been to it once, then you just want to go again and again.

While I couldn’t be there in person, that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t follow all of the action vicariously. Guys, the Internet is a wonderful thing.

Through descriptions and reviews of all of the films that were screened at the Festival, I was able to compile a list of this year’s entries that I want to see the most. Who knows, maybe one of these could be the next “Reservoir Dogs” or “Clerks.” Whatever happens, at least one of (if not all) of these films will have a character who either plays ukelele or looks really sad while taking a shower.

Read the list below:

Boyhood

In order to understand the film, the behind-the-scenes of “Boyhood” is crucial to know: director Richard Linklater filmed it in bits and pieces over a 12 year period in order to accurately capture the aging of the lead child character. This idea is so interesting and ambitious and proves that Linklater is secretly one of America’s most innovative filmmakers. Remember, this is the same dude that also directed “Dazed & Confused,” “School of Rock,” and “Bernie.” Linklater refuses to stick to the same style and formula, which is why I love his films so much.

Image via Sundance Film Guide

Nymphomaniac: Volume I

I have yet to see a single Lars von Trier film (oops), but that doesn’t make me any less excited for “Nymphomaniac,” which was the surprise secret screening at the Festival. “Nymphomaniac” is an epic about sex addiction. If that doesn’t sound indulgent enough, then you should also know that the film had to be split in two, as the original cut is over four hours long. This is what we get for complaining about the length of “The Wolf of Wall Street.” For now, I will see “Nymphomaniac” partly out of pure curiosity, and partly because I never imagined that Shia LaBeouf and Uma Thurman would star together in a Danish sex comedy. Yes, I’ll watch “Melancholia” soon, so please stop asking.

Note: I am pretty sure that any photo, poster, or clip that I put up for this film will offend someone or get me in serious trouble. Go look it up at your own risk. 

The Skeleton Twins

I try not to be pulled in to films by star power alone. However, I will make an exception to this rule when the stars in question happen to be Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig. The pair of “Saturday Night Live” alums star in “The Skeleton Twins” as a pair of estranged twins who reunite. The two of them are so good at playing silly, so this will be the first time they really get to play serious (they were both in “Adventureland” together though, albeit as comic relief). The two of them should be great in dramatic roles, just don’t join the dark side for good, guys.

Doing a great impression of “melancholy white people” Image via Sundance Film Guide

Whiplash

“Whiplash” was one of the most highly buzzed about films at the Festival.  J.K. Simmons continues to be an underrated character actor, while Miles Teller is just about on his way to huge stardom, as long as he never stars in anything like “That Awkward Moment” ever again. Once again, I try not to be fully convinced by star power alone, but “Whiplash” had me at “J.K. Simmons yells and curses at Miles Teller a lot.”

Image via Sundance Film Guide

Wish I Was Here

“Wish I Was Here” garnered a strong love it or hate it reaction from Sundance crowds, and I’m not sure if that’s because of the film itself, or because Zach Braff is a fairly divisive figure. I am excited to see Braff’s long awaited Kickstarter-funded directorial follow up to “Garden State.” While it seems fairly uncool to like “Garden State” anymore, it is important to remember that most of the annoying indie tropes associated with the film were original at the time that it came out. Therefore, it is the imitators, as opposed to the inventors, who deserve more of the blame here.* Anyway, if a film caused this much debate at Sundance, then there must be something interesting about it. Hopefully, this could also serve as a comeback for Kate Hudson, who deserves better roles after years stuck in rom-com hell. Also, I am required to end this paragraph by saying that this film also stars Mandy Patinkin.

Image via Sundance Film Guide

*But that whole “two people connect while listening to The Shins” thing? That’s all on you, Braff.

Films I Would See Based On Their Titles Alone: Afronauts, Dear White People