“Does Lorelei Linklater look bored?” “No she’s not bored…that’s just the way her face looks…” Image via Yahoo

Tonight, I saw the best of the Globes, and the worst of the Globes.

I saw some truly deserving winners. I saw some truly headscratching ones, and others that were victims to genre confusion. That is an accurate way to describe about any awards show. However, there was something weird in the air at this year’s ceremony. It probably started when the entire audience couldn’t handle a Bill Cosby joke. But most likely, it was because I felt like I was being judged the entire time by Amal Clooney, who is clearly smarter and more accomplished than I will ever be in my entire life.

I hope you have all recovered from my Pulitizer Prize winning Golden Globes Drinking Game and are ready for the highlight reel. I have decided to put the show together in a neat little package, going through the things I liked and didn’t like about the show. Overall, I don’t really know what to say about a show that leaves Whiplash and Valerie Cherish off the shortlist, but here we go:

What I Liked

Patricia Arquette What a wonderful lady. What an amazing performance in Boyhood. What a deserved win. She is what every Manic Pixie Dreamgirl should be.

George Clooney Clooney is one of the last movie stars out there, which is what people say about every movie star. Clooney received the Lifetime Achievement Award and despite the fact that he is neither dead nor in diapers, he has achieved so much. On top of his great speech was a highlight reel that showed the diverse range of roles throughout his careers. But the most important part of it all: his involvement in South Park.

Fargo It is great to see that this tremendous new show got love where the Emmys missed out. Noah Hawley’s words about kindness were by far one of the most genuine speeches of the night.

Jeffrey Tambor I still have not watched Transparent, but I cannot say enough kind words about Jeffrey Tambor. Seriously, somebody who has had as good a career as he has does not need to be this humble. He is like the kind, wise old man that you would go talk to after you had enough of your own grandparents.

The Grand Budapest Hotel So I was rooting really hard for Birdman, but The Grand Budapest Hotel is not a bad spoiler. Plus, we got to see Wes Anderson wear a crooked bowtie and then give a speech that shows that he is aware of how weird you think he is.

What I Didn’t Like

Those Entrances Winners ran up to the stage through this weird, secret passage that resembled the Aztec Tomb. The extra time it took to shoot each one of them confusedly stumbling through it is probably the main reason that the show ran long.

Politics Schmolitics Trans rights. Civil rights. Je Suis Charlie. These are all important topics that deserve exposure, and a platform like this is a perfect place for it. However, once you have Jared Leto preaching peace in Europe, then you know you have a problem. By the end of the night, the ceremony sort of felt like a smug version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

The Lego Movie While I have not seen How to Train Your Dragon 2, I will stand next to The Lego Movie until I am too tired to stand and have to sit down and check my phone once more.

Terrible Chemistry Let’s stop with the random presenter pairs, which were probably made via drunken sorting hat. I never want to have to endure another moment of Jeremy Renner (a fine actor who also happens to look like a loaf of Wonder Bread) talking about JLo’s boobs. This is a real sentence I just typed.

Hollywood’s Reaction to Bill Cosby Jokes Tina & Amy had a few good lines at the expense of America’s creepiest former father figure. The lines were expectadly met with gasps and groans. Let’s not treat it like the two of them were taking a risk and going there with these jokes. It is just more proof that people who attend awards show like the Golden Globes probably have a bespectacled twentysomething check social media for them. PS Hire me!

What I Feel Indifferent About

The Affair As much as I wish that I could rip on The Affair, I have not watched it yet. I have heard some good things about it, but this might be the Brooklyn Nine-Nine of the year: honored before it really hits its stride (by the way Brooklyn Nine-Nine was snubbed this year). Even your mom is upset that The Affair won Best Drama, and it is on Showtime. Showtime is HBO for parents.

Prince Prince is great, but I guess I grew up in the wrong time so I don’t revere him like a god. Therefore, I am just as confused as I am fascinated by the fact that he can get away with getting a category name wrong (he referred to Best Song as Best Score) while making the Blue Steel face. Seriously, is his face stuck on Blue Steel?

Tina & Amy Fey and Poehler are goddesses. Sadly, this is their last year hosting the Globes. However, their lack of screen time gave me an overall meh vibe and–[gets blindfolded and wakes up in Gulag]

I nominate Julie Klausner and Billy Eichner as next year’s hosts.

Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with celebrities getting behind political causes. Just remember, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it and for some reason, Jared Leto seems to think he’s a modern Christ figure. Christ figures are for high school English class, Leto.

Pictured: Rex Reed’s headshot. Image via New York Times

Against all odds, Rex Reed has had a long, fabled career as the film critic at the New York Observer. During his tenure, Reed used his review of Oldboy to insult the entire nation of South Korea, and then used multiple reviews to make fun of Melissa McCarthy’s weight. A lot of film critics can barely get by. Reed lives in The Dakota. I hope he gets haunted by the ghost of Rosemary’s baby on a regular basis.

The only possible reason he still gets work is because controversy gets clicks. You should check out one of his reviews sometime. Actually, don’t do that. Instead, I will read one of his reviews, so you don’t have to, and break it down. I will now be the first person to review Rex Reed’s reviews. Please, help me turn this into a living. I want to earn enough money so I can buy Rex Reed’s place in The Dakota.

For the second installment of this series, let’s talk about how Rex Reed talks about The Grand Budapest Hotel:

Well, it turns out Reed actually likes The Grand Budapest Hotel. I also like The Grand Budapest Hotel. It is how he likes it, and how he writes about, that is truly bizarre. It is less about how he spoils major details and more about how he compares everything to different types of fruit.

“…the deluded director of such brainless fruit salads as The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited, Moonrise Kingdom…”

Somehow, even when I agree with Rex Reed, he manages to piss me off. Sure, there are plenty of reasons to hate Wes Anderson, but accusing him of being brainless just doesn’t seem right. Also, that’s a good fruit salad burn. Fruit salad is the lowest of the salads, given that it doesn’t contain any meat in it.

“…The Grand Budapest Hotel is like one of those scrumptious lavender Louis Sherry candy boxes from the turn of the century you sometimes see at art shows and memorabilia auctions.”

Does Rex Reed watch movies…or eat them?

“…from the crimson carpets and pomegranate wall tapestries…”

I thought that this was the second time that Rex Reed compared a film to a pomegranate. It turns out the other example I was thinking of was an artichoke. In other news, I still don’t know the difference between an artichoke and a pomegranate.

“…Tilda Swinton, looking like a cross between Miss Havisham in Great Expectations and Abraham Lincoln in drag, buried by a pound of Max Factor…”

WE GET IT YOU’RE CULTURED AND ALSO HAVE NO CLUE ABE LINCOLN WOULD ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE IN DRAG.

“…you forget it’s all taking place against a background of rising Hitlerism and postwar communism…”

I just looked it up; Hitlerism is a real word. Back in my day, we just called it “being an asshole.”

“He keeps everybody smiling, ignoring the encroaching darkness lurking under the marzipan.”

Fine, I will give Rex some credit for this one. He actually does accurately describe what this film is really about. However, I can’t hear the word “marzipan” without thinking of somebody who’s worldview hasn’t changed since the 1940s, which also happens to perfectly sum up Rex Reed.

For about as far back as I can remember, I have always been obsessed with movie posters.

The best posters can be works of art. The worst can completely change how you feel about the film it is representing, even if you haven’t seen that film yet.

I decided to spend a part of my recent trip to Europe looking around at whatever movie posters they had hanging in public places. The truth is, no matter what language they are in, the posters on both sides of the pond are fairly similar. The most interesting part is trying to figure out why some titles changed, and what local posters tell you about that culture.

Look below for the highlights of the movie posters I found while exploring London and Paris:

God speed, London. Enjoy your share of erectile dysfunction jokes.

I didn’t think anything could make The Lego Movie better. But a title like La Grande Lego Adventure sounds much better to me.

At first glance, there is not much of a difference here. Maybe the French will enjoy this one more because it’s about protecting their art. The only difference here is that it is Monuments Men instead of The Monuments Men. Looks like they took some advice from Sean Parker.

I wonder if the line “I want to kill him and I want him to stay dead” sounds as dumb in French as it does in English.

Interesting that they changed the name. The original name of the film is Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit. Maybe it was changed because Jack Ryan isn’t as familiar of a name overseas, or maybe Europeans really hate colons. Also, this ad was on a table in a cafe. Like the table was an ad for a movie. Shameless promotion taken to a new level.

This translates to Relationship Status: It’s Complicated. Maybe this is a French remake of It’s Complicated, but with less middle aged white people talking about remodeling their kitchens (I swear that’s all Meryl Streep talks about in it). France might be the land of the French New Wave, the Mona Lisa, and Monet’s collection, but they still have the same love of cheesy rom-coms and movies with titles based on Internet slang as Americans do. I guess we all can get along.

Another thing France and America have in common: we all love to watch Liam Neeson kick some ass and save some lives. Liam Neeson should become a foreign ambassador.

No idea what this is, and IMDB is not helping. Based on the poster alone, I am just going to go ahead and assume that it is the French version of The Bucket List. Gotta have that soft lighting, yo.

“Maybe if we add an extra ‘E’ to it, people will think it sounds more French!” -Steve from Marketing

The only place I have seen this poster is at the Electric Cinema in London. By the way, if you ever go to London, I highly recommend checking out the Electric Cinema. It is London’s oldest, and now hippest, movie theater. I actually like this minimalistic poster better than the normal poster for The Grand Budapest Hotel, which itself isn’t bad. The more widely distributed poster tells you is that there is going to be hotel. The poster above doesn’t tell you the plot, but it creates a mystery of what the plot may be. I love that. Most posters today are about displaying whatever hot celebrities star in the movie. Sometimes, just a briefcase and a puddle of blood are enough to get people to buy a ticket.

NOT PICTURED: American Hustle. I did not have a chance to snap a photo of this one in the wild, but in France American Hustle is called American Bluff. Interesting change, but I still like the original title that it had before it came out the best: American Bullshit.

In Theory is a new feature in which I make up theoretical projects and try to develop them.

Not just anybody can star in a Wes Anderson joint.

Wes Anderson is perhaps best known for the incredibly detailed worlds that he designs. He is like a science fiction artist who is more interested in people than outer space. His characters are just as intricate and unique as the houses, ships, trains, and hotels that he puts them in.

Throughout his career, Anderson has assembled some of the best ensembles ever seen on film. Without Wes Anderson, we would never have been able to see Jason Schwartzman try and kill Bill Murray with a tree. Wes Anderson is good with actors, and actors are even better when they star in one of his films.

There are certain people who you see, and they just look like they belong in a Wes Anderson film. It might be because of their public personas, their looks, or their general attitudes. Being a Wes Anderson actor requires you to be as goofy as a cartoon, but then have the ability to get serious at a moment’s notice.

Today, I decided to step into the shoes of a casting director. Here is a short list of the actors and actresses who Wes Anderson should put into his films in the future:

Actors

Ben Kingsley

F. Murray Abraham was in The Grand Budapest Hotel. Ben Kingsley is the British version of F. Murray Abraham (explaining it would require time, blackboards, and flowcharts). By that transitive property, that means that Ben Kingsley would be a great fit in the Anderson universe.

Christoph Waltz

Christoph Waltz has repeatedly demonstrated that he is good at playing both funny and serious, often all at once in just one scene. Based on his ability to speak many languages, laugh like an idiot, and dress as Jesus, the guy clearly is willing to do anything. Waltz, the incredible, multi-lingual actor, would have been perfect in The Grand Budapest Hotel. Unfortunately, he was not part of the huge cast, but I am sure Anderson could write a great role for him.

Jean Dujardin

Besides the fact that he is a French man who can dance and make sleazy deals with Benihana, there is just something about Jean Dujardin’s face that would lend itself so well to Wes Anderson. Maybe it’s the smile. Or maybe it’s the mustache. It’s probably the mustache.

Joaquin Phoenix

After his fake public meltdown, Joaquin Phoenix has had an incredible career renaissance which has maybe been overshadowed in the media by the McConaissance. From The Master to Her, Phoenix has showed that he can play weirdos both frightening and delightful. And as is the case with Dujardin, Phoenix would be a perfect fit for Anderson’s ever expanding mustache collection.

Mark Wahlberg

Wes Anderson has a knack for making serious actors actors go seriously goofy, yet still be at the top of their game. In the past, he has cast Bruce Willis as a lonely, sensitive cop and Ralph Fiennes as a man who likes to sleep with old ladies. Wahlberg has been in everything from Lone Survivor to Ted, so he definitely has range. He would be great as either the distant father, or the way too strict, way too tough authority figure.

Actresses

Emma Watson

She is a fairly close older doppleganger of Kara Hayward (a.k.a. Suzy in Moonrise Kingdom). Despite not having a mustache, she is just one of those people who has a face that would fit in with all of Wes Anderson’s other characters. It is hard to explain. Plus, her insane cameo in This Is the End leads me to believe that she is just as good at dropping the f-bomb as Ralph Fiennes. British people make cursing sound so much more eloquent.

Greta Gerwig

Greta Gerwig is a frequent collaborator with Noah Baumbach, who is a frequent collaborator with Wes Anderson. This at least seems realistic. In Frances Ha, she basically played a Wes Anderson who had to learn that paying your mortgage is more important than escaping to a made up island. Gerwig would be a perfect fit in the Wes Anderson universe. Hopefully, Anderson can cast her in one more role before her life becomes How I Met Your Dad. 

Judi Dench

From Royal Tenenbaum to Steve Zissou, Anderson loves him some older folks with attitude. However, The Grand Budapest Hotel saw him commiting an act of Old Face (about as bad as Black Face or Jew Face, according to nobody) by casting Tilda Swinton as a woman in her eighties. It would seem kind of wrong if we never got to see the Dame “takin’ it out and choppin’ it up,” as Royal Tenenbaum would say.

Kristen Wiig

She would be great as a female version and soulmate of Dudley in a spin-off of The Royal Tenenbaums. Kristen Wiig is great, but what I am really trying to say is that we really need a movie about Dudley.

Scarlett Johansson

Okay, let’s just cast everybody from Her in Wes Anderson’s next film. Johansson is always so lively in every performance, even if she is just playing a voice in a computer. It would be interesting to see her play a moody against type like Margot Tenenbaum.

Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree? Who else would you add to this list?

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Grand Budapest Hotel, the eighth feature film by the one and only Wes Anderson, is his most dense, elaborate, and cartoonish (even though he has made an animated film). It seems like the kind of film you get to make once you turn stories like Moonrise Kingdom into Oscar nominated hits.

At times, this film feels like Wes Anderson’s attempt to top his own whimsy. There are only a few moments that are annoyingly typical of him (oh look! a humorously disabled child!). However, I think it is better to invent your own clichés than to steal them from others. More importantly, he weaves those clichés he invented into gold. I mean, this is about a girl reading a book about an author telling a story about how a man told him a story. It turns out, F. Murray Abraham makes as good of a narrator as Alec Baldwin (in The Royal Tenenbaums) once did.

Tom Wilkinson plays a writer (who is fittingly not given a name) struggling to write a story that has been sitting around in his brain for many years. As a younger man (the younger version of himself is played by Jude Law), he stayed at The Grand Budapest Hotel and met the hotel’s owner (F. Murray Abraham), who tells the story of how he came to run the once great hotel.

The hotel is located in the fake country of Zubrowka, which probably neighbors The Marx Brothers’ Freedonia. The hotel itself is a character, and the film itself is kind of like if Steve Zissou sold the Belafonte and bought a hotel. Yet, no matter how colourful the rooms are, this is the rare Wes Anderson film in which the characters’ personalities outshine the world around them. As the womanizing (only of the elderly) past owner of The Grand Budapest, Ralph Fiennes proves he is as good at being funny as he is at being serious. I guess I should have expected that much from the man who has the best line (“you’re an inanimate fucking object!”) in In Bruges.

Oh yeah, that cast. The Grand Budapest Hotel has such a sprawling ensemble that it even manages to fit Tilda Swinton in there almost completely undetected. While the big names slip and out, newcomer Tony Revolori still comes out a star as Zero. No matter how many different narrators there are, or how far down he is listed on IMDB, Revolori deserves to be known as the film’s true lead.

The Grand Budapest Hotel is unabashedly strange and often hard to follow. However, it embraces its own oddities from the very beginning, and that is what I most admired about it. There are several points where we are asked to believe that a bunch of live actors are actually going to get into a gondola that looks like it was made out of a cardboard box. And yet, it still feels real. Wes Anderson always lets his settings have a meaning. In Grand Budapest, the almost fake looking world is like the imaginary bubble that M. Gustave has set up for himself in which the coming war cannot effect him or his beloved hotel. Somewhere along the way, there is a murder mystery and a stolen piece of art. Adrien Brody once again dons his Salvador Dali mustache plays a psycho who looks like a vampire. Just roll with it, or you won’t have any fun.

On the surface, Grand Budapest appears to be Wes Anderson’s least deep film. Unlike, say, The Darjeeling Limited, Grand Budapest knows that there is more than meets the eye, but it doesn’t bombard you with symbolism. The only thing you are really bombarded with are severed body parts and old lady boobs. More accurately, The Grand Budapest Hotel is to Wes Anderson what The Hudsucker Proxy is to the Coen Brothers: light entertainment on the surface that gets better on repeat viewings.

Then, when you least expect it, The Grand Budapest Hotel has a strong emotional impact. The beauty of a Wes Anderson film is that he can make you care about the characters and you won’t even realize it until the end. When The Grand Budapest Hotel ended, I yearned for more. Hell, within the first five minutes, I knew this wouldn’t be my favorite Wes Anderson film, but it would be one that I would watch again and again. Sometimes, rewatchability is the greatest gift a movie can give.

Brain Farts From The Edge (Some Very Minor Spoilers Ahead)

• The Grand Budapest Hotel has at least two objective narrators who try to serve simply as observers. That kind of breaks a lot of rules of traditional narrative. Figuring out who the main character is isn’t a flaw of the film, but rather part of the fun of it.
• This is definitely the most violent film Wes Anderson has made to date.
• Well, I didn’t say that “the hotel is a character in the film” until five paragraphs in. Wow! I am impressed at my own restraint!
• Keep your shirt on, Harvey Keitel.
• Jeff Goldblum carries around a dead cat. I wish this turned into a Weekend at Bernie’s-type subplot in which Goldblum has to pretend the cat is alive even though it is not. Yeah, I still haven’t seen Weekend at Bernie’s.
• Amongst Wes Anderson’s films, I would rank this one between Bottle Rocket and Darjeeling, though it is very close to tying with Bottle Rocket (hey, they are both capers). Check out my post from last week for reference.
• Remember in 2004 when Jude Law was in every single movie that year and nobody could figure out why? He was like the Kevin Hart of 2004.
• I think Wes Anderson is in a Speed-like situation where if he doesn’t cast at least one Wilson brother in every film he does, then he will explode. Also, time to cast Luke Wilson again. He was great in Enlightened.
• Adrien Brody. That guy deserves to get more work.
• There are certain actors who just fit perfectly into the Wes Anderson universe. Here are some other people that I think he should cast in the future: Jean Dujardin, Emma Watson, Brendan Gleeson, Scarlett Johanssen, Ben Kingsley, Joaquin Phoenix, Christoph Waltz, Kristen Wiig
• There are only a few moments when Grand Budapest feels like that Wes Anderson parody trailer that Saturday Night Live did.
• Needed more Kinks/Creation/Rolling Stones/Van Morrison on the soundtrack. Sometimes, Alexandre Desplat alone doesn’t cut it.
• Speaking of music, this is one Wes Anderson film set in a time period where record players are relevant, and he doesn’t use them?! Same goes for typewriters.
• I guess if I try and compare every Wes Anderson film to Rushmore, then none of them will ever be good again.
• Ralph Fiennes talks faster than an Aaron Sorkin character here. One of the many reasons that this film demands a second viewing.

I’m not sure if that horse is dead or alive. Image via New York Magazine

Even if you are a Wes Anderson hater you have to admit: he knows how to make a film, and the fact that he has any unique style at all is something he should be admired, not admonished, for. While he has reached the edge before, Wes Anderson hasn’t become a caricature of Wes Anderson just yet.

A majority of my life (since I was in elementary school) has revolved around Wes Anderson’s films. He has changed the way I see both film and the world itself. I personally think that if everyone had Wes Anderson’s careful eye for little details, then the world would be a much better place. Then again, it would also be a world where adults act like children, and children want to be adults.

Matt Zoller Seitz recently released an amazing book called The Wes Anderson Collection that chronicles all of Wes Anderson’s films. Don’t worry, it has lots of pictures and drawings if you’re not into the whole reading thing. While I don’t think I can do them as much justice as Seitz did in his book, I have been an admirer of Anderson for long enough that it is worth a shot.

With the upcoming release of his latest film, The Grand Budapest Hotel, I figured now was a great time to take a look back at all of Anderson’s films so far. From his humble beginnings, to the moment he completely surrendered to his incredible imagination, Wes Anderson has turned his filmography into his own personal sandbox, where all of the sand castles are decorated in a very particular way.

Without further adieu, here is how I would rank all of Wes Anderson’s films:

7. The Darjeeling Limited

The Darjeeling Limited is not as bad as many people would have you believe. However, it is the one Wes Anderson film that feels like a stereotype of a Wes Anderson film. It has the dysfunctional characters, the dysfunctional family, and the incredibly detailed set design. However, once it ends, it just feels empty. It doesn’t feel the characters have gone through anything, even though they have. India sure is pretty to look at, though.

Note: This is the short film that gets shown before The Darjeeling Limited.

6. Bottle Rocket

Bottle Rocket is Wes Anderson’s first film. This scrappy yet memorable debut tells the story of a group of scrappy yet ambitious wannabe criminals (the debut of Owen and Luke Wilson)  living in suburban Dallas. Hey, if you ever grew up in a suburb, you knew the feeling of being bored enough that you wanted to rob the local Barnes & Noble (no? just me?). With Bottle Rocket, Wes Anderson was still developing his voice. The fact that he had any semblance of a voice this early in his career is impressive enough. It is apparent from early on that Wes Anderson knew what kind of a filmmaker he wanted to be; he just needed time to create and develop his Andersonian universe.

5. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

One viewing of The Life Aquatic does not do the film justice. The Life Aquatic is part fantasy, part story of a man coming of age while having a midlife crisis. It contains some of Bill Murray’s finest deadpan work, as well as great supporting performances from Willem Dafoe (who is funnier than you could ever imagine) and Jeff Goldblum (I picture his outfit in this film is what he wears in real life). The Life Aquatic might be Wes Anderson’s most shameless film, as he wears both his influences and imagination on his sleeves. Come for the Portuguese David Bowie covers, stay to watch Bill Murray fight pirates in a way that puts Captain Phillips to shame.

4. Fantastic Mr. Fox

It was inevitable that Wes Anderson would one day go into animation, given that his characters are basically developed cartoons with daddy issues. Fantastic Mr. Fox is simply a joy from the first frame to the last. It does justice to the Roald Dahl classic while also adding a new spin to the tale. I can’t wait for kids of this generation to watch it and then rewatch it as an adult and realize this film is all about existential crisis. It really is something to behold when a film can be viewed both from a level of childlike wonder, and a mature philosophical level. That is how I believe Wes Anderson tells all of his stories.

3. Moonrise Kingdom

I saw Moonrise Kingdom three times in theaters because once was not enough and after two times I still felt like I could see it again. This is the film where Wes Anderson feels most comfortable with his own style. The opening tour through the house is mesmerizing. The scenes where Sam and Suzy are on their adventure, from diving into the ocean to dancing to Francoise Hardy on the beach, are magical. Moonrise Kingdom is great at any moment but it is at its absolute best when it slows down the plot and just lets the characters mess around with the scenery. Moonrise Kingdom is the closest Wes Anderson has come to making something that would fit in with the French New Wave, which is something he has been trying to do ever since he made Bottle Rocket.

2. Rushmore

Rushmore is Wes Anderson’s second film, and still the funniest one he has made to date. It announced the arrival of Jason Schwartzman who kills it as Max Fischer, a precocious teen who is about to get kicked out of Rushmore Academy because he runs every club imaginable at the expense of his grades. Fischer’s journey into uncertain adulthood is scored by the British Invasion, with everything from The Creation (their “Making Time” is the perfect high energy beat to start this film off) to Faces to The Kinks. There is no need to ever adapt Catcher in the Rye (not that J.D. Salinger’s ghost would ever allow it), because this is cinema’s unique, perfect coming of age story.

1. The Royal Tenenbaums

“I’ve always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.” -Eli Cash (Owen Wilson)

I couldn’t agree with you more, Eli. This tale of the descent of a family of achievers is so many things at once: an emotional drama, a dysfunctional family comedy, and a tale of redemption. The Royal Tenenbaums is flawless from start to finish, beginning with the hopeful yet melancholy orchestral cover of “Hey Jude” and ending with the sad yet triumphant “Everyone” by Van Morrison. It is just those two songs alone that let you know what kind of film this is. Tenenbaums also contains one of the best ensembles ever put together, with Gene Hackman doing some of the best work of his whole career as the asshole patriarch who gives you reasons to like him.

Everything in The Royal Tenenbaums feels important, from Richie’s (Luke Wilson) paintings of Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) to the dalmatian mice that Chas (Ben Stiller) invented. In under two hours, The Royal Tenenbaums gives a fully developed story to each member of its gigantic cast, which is no easy feat. Everybody is allowed to do good things, bad things, and ultimately move on from the past. One of the biggest criticisms people have of Wes Anderson is that he chooses style over substance. But in The Royal Tenenbaums, it feels like he loves his characters, from the cheaters to the cuckolds, just as much as he loves the house on Archer Avenue that Royal Tenenbaum purchased during the winter of his 35th year.

I could talk about The Royal Tenenbaums even more, but I don’t want to keep you here all week.

Okay Wes Anderson fans…how would you rank his films? Agree? Disagree? Agree to disagree?