Summer 2013: Movie Awards

Best Movie Directed by Someone with the First Name Woody: Blue Jasmine

Best Movie About Jews in The Rapture: This is the End

Best Use of Music From the 1980s: Frances Ha

Movie that Really Wants an Oscar: The Butler

Most Surprisingly Good Performance: Sandra Bullock (The Heat)

Best Against Type Casting: Kyle Chandler (The Spectacular Now)

Best Reason to Never Go Back to SeaWorld: Blackfish 

Movie that Most Resembled a Game of Dance Dance Revolution: Pacific Rim

Best Movie I Saw this Summer that Didn’t Come Out this Summer: Bachelorette

Best Documentary I Saw this Summer that Didn’t Come Out this Summer: Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Most Believable Scoliosis: Liam James (The Way Way Back)

Funniest Tracheotomy: The Heat

Least Believable Use of Hacking: Elsyium

Most Believable Family Fight Over a Board Game: The Kings of Summer

Least Believable Family Fight Over a Board Game: The Way Way Back

Movie That Restored Some Faith in Superhero Movies: Iron Man 3

Biggest “Eh” of the Summer: Star Trek Into Darkness