Looks like Riggan’s big artistic gamble paid off. Image via Wired
If cinema is a religion, then the Oscars are its biggest holiday.
I mean this in the same way that sports are also like a religion, and the Super Bowl is its Christmas. If sports are the biggest religion, then cinema is a much smaller one, and one that you might have to be crazy to follow. Fittingly, movies are like Scientology. And it is ironic that the ceremony focuses on bowing down to a golden idol, given that the main participators are typically Jewish and idol worship is a no-no if you’re up to date with your Torah studies.
Anyway, the Oscars do what any good holiday should do: distract us from the cold, dark world that surrounds us. Without the Oscars and all of the other precursors leading up to it, all we would have is Seventh Son and The Duff.
This year’s race is wildly unpredictable, which rarely happens. This year’s supposed frontrunner, an underdog itself, has suddenly found itself eating the dust of a film that nobody knew was even in contention for underdog status. However, I love both the films in question and the only way to really judge them is time. But like I said, we all must distract ourselves from the darkness of reality with shiny statues.
My predictions are not based on exact science. They are a mix of precedent (patterns and guild award winners) and completely random speculation. I am not an Oscar voter, because I am under the age of 75. Therefore, I have no inside knowledge. Here is who I think will win at the Oscars this year:
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