The Biggest Movies of the Holiday Season 2014 According to Your Grandparents

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PICTURED: Where your grandparents live

Every time one season ends and a new season begins, there is a tendency to compile a list of which upcoming films will probably be the best. This is fun to do, but the biggest flaw in doing so is that, in the end, it is tough to write about films that you have not seen.

In response to this, I decided to devise a more fun way to talk about what is coming out in the months ahead. Everybody knows that nobody comes up with more creative, albeit wrong, titles for movies than your grandparents. I did it in the summer, and I did it in the fall, and now I am going to try it out again. If I decided to take a trip down to Florida and survey everybody who was playing a game of shuffleboard, this is what they would say are the biggest movies coming out this fall:

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Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #8

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Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the eighth and final night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about the ambiguous, honorary Jews:

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The Reel Deal Podcast

The Golden Age of Golden Ages

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Happy Hanukkah! Here’s an episode I recorded back in November that never made it to air until now. I discuss why we should stop talking about Golden Ages, check in with the cast of Happy Endings, and review Zach Braff’s very Jewish, very irritating, Wish I Was Here.

Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #5

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knockedup5

Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the fifth night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about Ben Stone of Knocked Up:

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Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #4

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rugrats-chanukah-1

Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the fourth night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about The Pickles Family of Rugrats:

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Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #3

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Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the third night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about Neal Schweiber of Freaks and Geeks:

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An Open Letter to America Regarding Hackers, Movie Theaters, and North Korea

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Griefer

Pictured: A Sony hacker in action.

Dear America,

Hi! Hope all is well. It only happens every once in a blue moon that politics cross over with entertainment and I get to feel like a fully informed citizen of the world. The desire of a bunch of hackers to prevent America from seeing a Seth Rogen movie has done just that.

First, they hacked Sony. We saw emails that nearly ruined careers and we all looked, because we are sheep. Then, they threatened a 9/11-style attack on all movie theaters in America that decided to show The Interview. A quick word of advice to the hackers: next time you decide to threaten an entire nation, get somebody to proofread the ransom note.

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Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #2

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Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the second night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about Shosanna Dreyfus of Inglourious Basterds:

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Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Eight Jewish Characters: Night #1

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Image via Cinemasquid

Behind every great goy, is a Jew writing all of their best one-liners.

Jews make up about 0.2% of the world’s population yet they have always been a loud (emphasis on the loud) and prominent voice in film, television, music, and comedy. 

The next eight days are Hanukkah, which is not the most important Jewish holiday, but we do get presents. For each night of Hanukkah, I will share one Jewish character who is important and represents some important aspect of Judaism and Jewish culture. For the first night of Hanukkah, let’s talk about Larry Gopnik of A Serious Man:

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A Leak of Their Own: An Ambivalent Perspective on the Sony Hack

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I only want to see this more now. Image via Screencrush

A few weeks ago, following threats from North Korea over the upcoming release of The Interview, Sony’s records were hacked and a shit storm commenced. What was once both harmless and hilarious in a voyeuristic way has now become a disaster that has nearly brought an entire studio to its knees. Oh, the hyperbole!

It all started when a steady stream of the leaked information was released by the media. Nobody seemed to have a problem with it at all. This week, after a series of hacked emails started to personally affect people’s careers, the backlash began. On Sunday, Aaron Sorkin penned a letter in the New York Times that mainly blames the media for distributing this stolen information and thus giving more power to the criminals who stole the information in the first place. You’re not wrong, Aaron Sorkin, but it seems a little convenient to post a critique of the media on the exact same day that your show The Newsroom, which is a critique of the media, was having its series finale.

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