Monthly Archives: March 2012

Why Do People Like This: Speed

Why Do People Like This is a new segment where I discuss a thoroughly overrated movie.


Pop Quiz Hot Shot!

It is said that “Speed” was pitched as “Die Hard” on a bus. This is one of the most brilliant pitches ever made. Too bad “Speed” isn’t nearly as good as “Die Hard.”

When it comes to movies, I’m like Alvy Singer, in that I won’t see a movie in theaters if I am late. Even two minutes late. I like the credits, too. But it appears that I have broken some of my own rules for “Speed.” I like to justify it by putting into consideration the fact that I caught it on AMC on a Saturday night. AMC is known for playing both classic, and classically cheesy, movies.

In the pop culture lexicon, “Speed” doesn’t usually fall into the second category. In fact, if the ratings on the information option on cable are to be trusted, it gets three and a half out of four stars. So about the same rating as “No Country for Old Men” and “The Social Network.” “Speed” is an entertaining thriller. But a great one? Not even close.

For the longest time, “Speed” was on that list of movies that I am guilty of never watching. That list still includes “Top Gun,” “Trading Places,” and “A Beautiful Mind.” I can now take “Speed” off of that list, and relief washes over me in a wave of meh.

The premise of “Speed” is simple, yet effective: a terrorist plants a bomb inside a bus, and said bus cannot go under 50 miles per hour at anytime, or else it will explode. From the start, I had no clue how that bomb would be diffused. That is what drew me to the movie. Unfortunately, “Speed” goes for the most obvious conclusion possible.

First off, everything about “Speed” is absolutely ludicrous. Now, no movie can ever be truly, fully realistic. Even the ones that claim to be so are usually the most highly implausible (*cough* “Crash” *cough*). But really, are we supposed to believe that a bus can make it over a jump that large? I have never taken a physics class, but even I know that stunt does not look right. Usually in a Hollywood blockbuster, the coolness factor justifies the suspension of reality. This shot might have looked cool in 1994, but it has not aged well.

“Speed” was written by Graham Yost. Yost would go on years later to create “Justified,” which I am told is one of the best dramas on television. But there is something “Speed” lacks in its script. The potential of both comedic and dramatic bonding between the passengers on the bus is passed up so that each of them instead can be used to forward the plot. The only passengers to get some form of personality are Cam from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (Alan Ruck, who should be acting more) and the teacher with the annoying voice from “Donnie Darko.”

And lest we not forget the dull chemistry between the two leads: Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock. Bullock is charismatic when she chooses to be; Keanu doesn’t seem to have a choice. When he isn’t busy sitting on a park bench by himself, he is being the lamest actor to ever be called a leading man. Why are we made to root for this hero? What is he overcoming, and what makes him so special? He really should have stuck to movies more like “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” Seriously, that movie does not get enough credit.

The end of this movie devolves into a big kiss between the two leads. However, Jack (Reeves) never seemed to be trying to save Annie (Bullock) out of love, but rather obligation. Bullock is able to get the second best line in the movie, when she says she lost her license because of speeding, just seconds after she is asked to take the wheel. The other best line is when Jack says that Howard Payne (Hopper) has “lost his head.” That sentence has multiple meanings.

Hopper is the scene stealer here as the psychotic and mysterious villain. He is strangely less over-the-top here than he usually is, and considering the fact that he once played Frank Booth. The small amount of screen time he gets certainly increases the intrigue in his villain, but I would have rather seen a movie completely about him than about anyone else here.

“Speed” is not completely horrible. There are a lot of thrilling moments and I will admit that I was afraid that the bus would actually blow up a few times earlier on. Then, I remembered if that happened, there wouldn’t be a movie. But that constant fear helps to keep the movie alive. However, this thrill is broken up by a lot of poor character development as well as an incessant need for a happy ending. “Speed” is a lot of great parts searching for a greater whole.

You can catch “Speed” on AMC about the same amount of times that you can catch “Wedding Crashers” and any Tyler Perry movie on TBS. Translation: A lot. 

The Reel Deal is now on Twitter

Because social media isn’t a big enough burden on your life already, you can now find The Reel Deal on Twitter. Of course, you’ll find links to all of the latest reviews and articles. However, you will also get other trinkets of my sage movie wisdom, and perhaps some special previews of future posts. Keep Reel Dealin’ on.* 


https://twitter.com/#!/Reel_Deal_Ian


Follow me and spread the word!


*Okay, I need to work on that catchphrase

This Week, We are a Community: Day 1

This Thursday, “Community” comes back from nearly-cancelled purgatory to finish off its third season. To celebrate the return of my favorite show, and to thank NBC for avoiding its third biggest mistake ever (following the cancellation of “Freaks and Geeks” and the Conan fiasco), I’ve decided to post a clip from “Community” every day until its return. Hopefully, the clip is hilarious and context free. I apologize if every clip I choose somehow involves Donald Glover yelling like a child. Enjoy.

Movie Review: Project X

There is a code of objectivity that all journalists are supposed to abide by. As a self-proclaimed film journalist who tries to live by these rules, there are times when my objectiveness goes right out the door. With something like “Project X,” there is no other way to approach it.

“Project X” contains pretty much everything I usually hate in a movie: its sexist, stupid, overlong, and incredibly unrealistic. I did not hate it, and I did not love it either. However, I enjoyed just about every single minute of it.

“Project X” falls into the subgenre of the mockumentary genre, under the kingdom of comedy and or drama, known as the found footage footage movie. I just wrote that last sentence because it made me sound like a scientist. Anyway, it is less hilarious than “This is Spinal Tap” but more developed than “The Blair Witch Project.” Three best friends in high school, all incredibly unpopular, decide to throw the party of the century in order to get noticed. They hire someone (Dax Flame) to film the whole experience for them. He turns out to be a pretty bad fly on the wall, and the party becomes both a success and a disaster.


Thomas (Thomas Mann) is all but unheard of by most of the student body. Thomas is at the crux of turning 17, a birthday that is pretty insignificant because it provides no drivers license, legal drinking age, or any others rights of passage into adulthood. However, it would allow him to finally see “Project X” in theaters.

On the eve of Thomas’s birthday, his parents go away for the weekend. I know it’s their anniversary that weekend but come on, what parents would leave their son at home alone on his birthday? His dad lays out a series of ground rules, and most importantly forbids Thomas from touching his Mercedes while he is gone. From there, it is obvious that the Mercedes will not be in good condition by the end of the night.

Of Thomas’s co-dependent best friends, Costa (Oliver Cooper) is the most instrumental in orchestrating the party. Costa is a little too confident in himself, and he is definitely not the marketer nor the ladies man that he thinks he is. However, the kid does pull out a pretty good defense, albeit an obvious one, when keeping the cops away. Think of him as a cross between Neil Schweiber and the creepy son from “World’s Greatest Dad.” Costa’s self-confidence is unearned, yet it works and is foul and degrading way of talking leads to many guilty laughs. Once he gets a better script, Cooper will become a big star.

Costa creates as much trouble as he gets into. He is like any Jewish kid I have ever known who thinks they are a lawyer just by default. He always manages to ruin Thomas’s life as he tries to make it better, because he is overall a bit too selfish. One of the movie’s primary problems is that this conflict is blatant, yet goes mostly unacknowledged throughout, and it tries to resolve itself through archetypal declaration of bro-love kind of scene. “Project X” has a lot of fun with the story at hand, but it never does anything new with it. Everything set up at the beginning of the movie will obviously come back to haunt the characters.

The two other best friends, JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown) and Kirby (Kirby Bliss Blanton), may also achieve big stardom. The awkward, overweight JB is the movie’s McLovin, and that’s why he is so easy to root for. But the biggest downfall of “Project X” is how it attempts to turn Thomas and Kirby’s friendship into a love story. It is as implausible as it is predictable.

Despite its unoriginality and predictability, the movie’s self-awareness and charm won me over at parts. “Project X” taps into gold in its first 30 minutes. It is at this time where the movie actually feels realistic. Yes, the kids are offensively vulgar, but they talk the way most teenagers and college kids talk nowadays. I don’t know what that says about our sick society, but “Project X” never attempts to be any kind of statement. All it ever wants to be is wish fulfillment.

When looking back at “Project X” I realize the very best of it lies in individual scenes, rather than the movie as a whole. Take for example how hilariously uncomfortable and creepy the sit down with the drug dealer is, as James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” plays in the diegesis.

A lot of the movie’s utter insanity starts off as fun, before it actually becomes utterly insane. The party’s 12-year-old security guards are scene stealers, and while it is morally offensive to cheer them on as they tase an innocent father, you don’t have to feel too bad because the party has to go on somehow. “Project X” asks you to think like a teenage boy. So yes, there will also have to be topless girls at this party.

The documentary style of “Project X” lends itself well to the story, but it does break away for the format quite a few times. The movie as a whole is a great time until it goes down hill at the end, and succumbs to Multiple Ending Syndrome. No movie that is under 90 minutes long should ever feel like it drags on. But what can I say, this review is only going to be half negative. I ate up almost every minute of “Project X,” and I found myself in fits of laughter at times, laughing at things that had no right to be that funny. Even when the dog gets high, I laughed. The spirit of anarchy throughout works.

“Project X” is polarizing in its demographic reach, but for once, can’t us guys get something more or less just for us? Something that’s vulgar, unintelligent, and even kind of real? Sorry, “Twilight” still doesn’t work for us.

Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom to Open the Cannes Film Festival

The great news yesterday from public relations land was that Wes Anderson’s “Moonrise Kingdom” will be opening the Cannes Film Festival on May 16. This is the second year in a row that an American film has opened the festival, after “Midnight in Paris” did so last year. So while the French might have taken over American awards ceremonies (thanks for that, “The Artist”), Hollywood swiftly took revenge. Or, at least that’s how I picture it happening. Your move, Sarkozy.  

But enough with me imagining wars between America and France. As someone who saw my first Wes Anderson movie at the tender age of nine (a little too young, I admit), I speak from the heart when I say how excited this news makes me. Anderson deserves to fill a spot once taken up by Woody Allen.

“Moonrise Kingdom” looks like a movie that is laced with childhood whimsy. I am someone who is always believing my many crazy childhood dreams could actually come true, and this summer, I will be attending the Cannes Film Festival. I will be going as an intern, but also as something of an undercover reporter. Tickets for the premieres of the biggest movies are often hard to come by. But if anyone knows any loopholes in film law that could help me acquire tickets to the premiere of “Moonrise Kingdom,” it would be greatly appreciated.

In addition, the official poster for “Moonrise Kingdom” was released today. There is something indescribably awesome about yellow font. I can already hear The Creation blaring on the soundtrack.

Analog This: Archer

Analog This is a new segment where I shift the spotlight away from movies to focus on a TV show, old or new, that is worthy of your attention. 


With the glut of great comedy currently being shown on both network and cable television, I find myself wavering day-to-day on which one I can currently pin as my favorite. “Community” (which I can include because it is indeed coming back) is the most sophisticated and thought provoking. “Parks and Recreation” is the warmest and most consistently funny. “Louie” is the most daring and unique, like “Seinfeld” as a documentary shot by Woody Allen. Then, there is “Archer,” the most surprisingly witty of them all.

“Archer” is “Arrested Development,” “Mad Men,” and an Adult Swim show all rolled into one. The “Arrested Development” comparison is not one that should be used lightly, even though I am guilty of using it too often. However, if any show could objectively receive this honor, it should be “Archer.” Adam Reed, the show’s creator, has himself remarked on the show’s influence. Indeed, Jessica Walter voices Malory Archer, the aging, alcoholic head of the ISIS spy agency. Like her previous performance as Lucille Bluth, she also has a troubled relationship with her son(s), whom she always manages to both smother and distance herself from. Judy Greer once again plays a sometimes ditzy, but always unhinged secretary, while Jeffrey Tambor has a role in a few episodes here and there.

“Archer” deserves the comparison much more because it takes the essence of what made “Arrested Development” so smart and so funny, and uses it perfectly. It is full of references ranging from literature to Burt Reynolds movies. Its constant use of wordplay and skewing of the English language is worthy of multiple viewings. Who knew an ongoing joke about idioms, seen in “Heart of Archness,” could be that funny? Go back to the very first episode, and see if you can understand that joke about “being into Greek” now.

No matter how elaborate the jokes and references in “Archer” are, they can be within anyone’s range of understanding. They often just involve the kind of time and effort that a lot of shows don’t demand of their audience. Even if a reference does go over your head (it will happen), it doesn’t detract from the humor of an episode in any sense. “Archer” should truly be commended for being possibly the first show in history to reference “Hud.” And you can make fun of me all you want for actually getting that reference. Watching “Archer” can be like hanging out with a bunch of culturally aware kids who aren’t pretentious and are willing to clue you in on the reference, without specifically clueing you in on the joke.  

“Archer” also has one of the finest arrays of characters currently seen on television. The show made a major shift from season one to two, when it began to delve deeper into backstories. After finding out that Pam (Amber Nash) was a skilled street fighter in order to pay for college, she is no longer just the hilariously inappropriate HR lady. While Pam’s actions are almost always repellent, her strength and hidden intelligence make her a standout. Same can be said for Woodhouse, who in one episode reveals himself to be much more than just the Archer family’s longtime “slave.”

And of course there’s Mr. Sterling Archer himself, the alcoholic, mommy-issue riddled center of the universe (and the show). Sterling has the capacity to be both the dumbest and one of the smartest members of ISIS. What seems to get him in trouble most is not his intelligence but rather his ego and his inability to stop talking. “Archer” is an experiment of how long a character can talk, and how long a joke can go on, before it becomes hard to watch.

“Archer,” now in its third season, has made some serious breakthroughs in its characters, and shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Recent episodes have explored Sterling’s dangerously addictive personality in ways that are both funny and tragic. The most recent episode saw him inadvertently causing the death of the man who might have been his father. It was a moment clarity and sadness that could bring the show in a new direction. But hopefully not too new: there can be no true “Archer” without a lewd, boozed up Sterling.

“Archer” is atypical in many ways. Many episodes are left unresolved, and each usually ends not with a revelation, but with a character saying something ridiculous, before cutting to credits. “Archer” is less a show about plot, and more a show about characters. They are the reason I come back to “Archer” every single week. To make a show where watching the characters is more enticing than story arcs is a rare feat. It is what makes “Archer” television’s best animated show since the start of “South Park.”*


*Sorry, but “Family Guy” was ruined for me after a certain point.

Things That Should Never Happen: An Animal House Musical

Because even Broadway is afraid of green-lighting an original concept, Universal Pictures Stage Productions announced today that “Animal House: The Musical” is currently in development. At times like these, I look around to make sure reality isn’t actually some giant artistic social experiment by Banksy.

If this didn’t sound cruel enough already to the “Animal House devotees of the world, the news was announced today on the 30th anniversary of John Belushi’s death. So instead of talking about how Belushi transformed comedic acting in such a short amount of time, everyone is talking about “Animal House: The Musical” (yes, I am guilty of this too). Turning “Animal House” into a musical would be a disservice to everything the brothers of the Delta House stood for. “The Lion King” lent itself to a successful musical because it already was one, and “Hairspray” lent itself well to the format (even if it sacrificed some of John Waters’s best black humor). And for every “Saturday Night Fever,” there is a “Carrie.”

“Animal House” is the kind of story that wouldn’t function as well in today’s world, as so many knockoffs immediately followed it. But instead of discussing this, honor Belushi (and “Animal House”) with these great clips after the jump:

Belushi amazingly steals this entire scene with one brief yelp. 


AND he can impersonate Brando. 

How to Deal with Losing: Steven Spielberg

After this past Sunday’s ceremony ended, I promised everyone I was done with the Oscars for at least the next few months. But as they say in just about every action movie ever made: “just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.” What I have today is a great clip I was sent this morning of Steven Spielberg reacting to the Oscar nominations in 1976. In the previous year, “Jaws” took audiences by storm. In this clip, Spielberg is none too pleased to find out that despite a Best Picture nomination for “Jaws”, the Academy failed to recognize his directing.

Spielberg blames his snub on commercial backlash. That is a possibility, as most of the nominations in the past few years have been for lower grossing movies. But then again, no one is going to nominate “Transformers” or “Breaking Dawn” for Best Picture. I am guessing the real case is that Spielberg just missed the shortlist, given that the nominated directors were Milos Forman, Sidney Lumet, Stanley Kubrick, Robertrt Altman, and Federico Fellini. That’s a hard group to compete with.

Anyway, this is a great video to give you some insight on what filmmakers think of the Oscars. It will also give you a hint of what the 1970s was like. Its an especially different Spielberg than we were used to, a man who was fighting the system before he ultimately became it.

Watch the video after the jump:

Credit to Ben Silverberg for sending me the video.