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Analog This: The 10 Best TV Shows of 2014

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Image via Reddit

I swear if somebody tells me that it’s the Golden Age of Television one more time…

Look, I’m not saying that this isn’t an amazing time for TV. All I am saying is that labeling one year as a golden age sets you up for future failure and disappointment. For instance, people who label the 1930s and 40s as the golden age of film completely disregard the amazing work done in later years. Plus, Gone with the Wind is sort of racist and Citizen Kane is kind of boring.

Earlier this year, some critics said the golden age of television was over. Really? Then how do you account for the fact that over half my list is freshman shows? As everything migrates towards cable and the web, TV is changing and currently on a curve of exponential growth. This is my first TV top ten list, because this is the first year that I feel like I watched enough shows that I could list ten and have a few honorary mentions.

It is amazing how diverse this year’s TV selections are. My list contains fantasy lands, New York during multiple different time periods, and a lot of talking animals. I don’t want to say that television is currently better than film, but I understand what the whack jobs who say that are talking about. Without further adieu, here is my list of the ten best shows of 2014:

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Movie Review: The Babadook

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Dog in a horror movie? Never a good idea. Image via IGN

Unlike any other genre, except maybe for the romantic comedy, horror seems the most tied to its formula. I don’t mean that as an insult. There is a very particular way to be scared, and horror movies need to follow the formula to get the screams out. Then again, some of the best genre entries completely defied expectations.

This is partially what is so special about The Babadook: it is both completely new and very familiar. What makes The Babadook unique is that instead of stealing from the classics, it builds on them.

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Nostalgia Awakens: Star Wars, Jurassic World

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In this week’s episode, Tom Hanks Expert Ryan Little joins me to talk about the trailers for The Force Awakens and Jurassic World, amongst many other things. Plus, we try and figure out who should write and perform the next James Bond theme song.

Don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes. You can download all older episodes there as well. Keep it reel.

TV Movie Review: Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever

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And students…here we see a breathtaking wide shot of product placement. Image via Lifetime

I promised the world that I would review Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever. Nobody asked me to, but still, I said what I meant, and I meant what I said, an elephant’s faithful 100%.

So here I am covering a series of firsts. This is not only the first TV movie I’ve ever reviewed, but one of the first Christmas movies I’ve ever reviewed in the history of this site. And to my knowledge, this is the first movie ever made based on an internet meme. Man, I hate that last sentence.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever is based off of the extremely popular Grumpy Cat meme. The cat in question suffers from feline dwarfism, which gives her the trademark grumpy look. Haha, cat diseases, good one. I wasn’t expecting Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever to be a good movie, which is exactly why I added it to my DVR in the first place. However, what I saw on the screen worries me for the future of bad movies.

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New Star Wars Teaser: Because I Really Want You To Click This Link

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Settle down, nerds! While you were still digesting your Thanksgiving meals, the first teaser for Star Wars: The Force Awakens was released in theaters and internets across the nation.

Now, I write this from the perspective of somebody who likes and appreciates Star Wars a lot, but is not a die hard fan. And let me tell you, it is a hard world to be somebody who likes, but doesn’t love, Star Wars. Most people consider Star Wars to be foremost in their cinema education. For me, franchises like Indiana Jones, James Bond, and Toy Story always impacted me more. But this is not my moment in the sun: this day is for you. I just join actively discrediting myself.

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Movie Review: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

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Mine’s bigger. Image via Mockingjay.net

As I settled into my seat for a late Sunday afternoon showing of Mockingjay Part 1, I looked at the crowd seated around me and realized how much power this franchise really has.

Young Adult is typically associated with “screeching sixteen-year-old girls.” That is essentially what the Fault In Our Stars screening I went to looked like. Instead the Mockingjay audience was mix of screaming sixteen-year-old girls, fathers bonding with their sons, couples on dates, and chatty older ladies. So, it is possible to make a blockbuster without pandering to the lowest common denominator.

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Celebrity Role Models to Look Up to Now That We Don’t Have Bill Cosby

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WE BOW DOWN TO YOU NOW. Image via Hitfix

As Rob Reiner says in The Wolf of Wall Street (nobody else in the history of humanity has said this): the chickens have finally come to roost, as a secret hidden in plain sight finally poked its ugly head out in full force.

Earlier this week, more women came out to say that they were raped by Bill Cosby. As a result of the mounting allegations, Netflix delayed the release of Cosby’s upcoming comedy special. and NBC completely dropped a planned Cosby sitcom.

In a very short amount of time, Cosby has gone from America’s TV dad, to something of a monster. To say his image is damaged beyond repair might be an understatement. Now, I see Cosby less as an inspiration and more like a condescending, power hungry butt wipe. It is a sad truth that public figures who seem outwardly kind can host a dark side. Right now, we are witnessing a real life version of Gone Girl unfold.

It is important to remember that celebrities are always putting on some sort of an act, both on and off camera. It’s just something they have to do. But don’t worry, we can still trust our idols. Since we don’t have Cosby anymore, here is a list of some other celebrities that are still good role models.

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Reviewing Rex Reed’s Reviews: The Grand Budapest Hotel

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Pictured: Rex Reed’s headshot. Image via New York Times

Against all odds, Rex Reed has had a long, fabled career as the film critic at the New York Observer. During his tenure, Reed used his review of Oldboy to insult the entire nation of South Korea, and then used multiple reviews to make fun of Melissa McCarthy’s weight. A lot of film critics can barely get by. Reed lives in The Dakota. I hope he gets haunted by the ghost of Rosemary’s baby on a regular basis.

The only possible reason he still gets work is because controversy gets clicks. You should check out one of his reviews sometime. Actually, don’t do that. Instead, I will read one of his reviews, so you don’t have to, and break it down. I will now be the first person to review Rex Reed’s reviews. Please, help me turn this into a living. I want to earn enough money so I can buy Rex Reed’s place in The Dakota.

For the second installment of this series, let’s talk about how Rex Reed talks about The Grand Budapest Hotel:

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Why It’s So Hard To Forgive Bill Cosby

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Couldn’t have said it better myself, Bill. Image via Washington Times

So here we are again: it turns out that another much loved celebrity is actually a huge jerk.

This time, it’s America’s sweetheart Bill Cosby. The case against Cosby is equal parts strange and sickening. Once the most beloved sitcom dad on television, Cosby’s reputation has recently taken a hit as several rape allegations have been fired against him. The strange part is that these allegations have been public for almost thirty years, yet I didn’t find out about it until recently. Somehow, he found a really good publicist who managed to sweep all this dirt under the rug. Apparently, they didn’t do a thorough enough job cleaning.

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Movie Review: Rosewater

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The camcorder is mightier than the pen which is mightier than the sword. Image via Deadline

WARNING: This review contains spoilers for real life. Do not read this review if you are an idiot.

Hold the phone, are you telling me that they let a comedian direct a serious movie? What’s next? Dogs wearing suits to work? Civil debate between Democrats and Republicans? We can only hope.

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