Category Archives: Weeds

Analog This: Trapped, Trapped, Trapped in Orange is the New Black

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YOU ARE NOW ENTERING SPOILER TERRITORY

Is TV as we know it dead?????!!!!! Is Netflix the only place we can get good shows now????!!!!!!

No. TV is alive and well and Netflix holds promise as a lead distributor for the future. But I’m not in the future predicting game; I’m in the “Orange is the New Black” fan club. We are few and we are annoying, but we know great television when we see it.

“Orange is the New Black” is based on the true story of Piper Kerman, a waspy shiksa* who ends up in prison for a crime she committed years earlier. The show takes a lot of liberties from there. It starts through the eyes of Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) and then expands far and wide, populating the prison with an array of colorful characters. These are the kind of characters who normally aren’t portrayed on television, and they’re often the kind of people you never meet when you’re a sheltered white boy from Connecticut. That’s what good stories are all about: expanding your world and introducing you to the kind of things that your own life might be too short-sighted to ever see.

While watching “Orange is the New Black,” I was reminded of an unlikely companion show: “Lost.” Like that sci-fi drama, “Orange” uses the medium to its fullest extent by leaving its setting through flashbacks. This allows the characters to be more than just their present selves; in prison, you’re not the same person you were on the outside world. In order to understand the new person, it is necessary to also see the old one. Also, if “Orange is the New Black” is “Lost,” does this mean they’re going to start having flash forwards later on? And does that mean Jason Biggs is the smoke monster?

But I digress. “Orange” is the second show created by Jenji Kohan, the first being “Weeds.” If the last few seasons of “Weeds” left a bad taste in your mouth, then consider “Orange” as Kohan’s way of pressing the reset button. This is a brand new world with an episode structure that literally allows endless possibilities.

“Orange is the New Black” is not just that female prison drama. This is a show about people who happen to be prisoners. Emphasis on the people part. That’s why it expands to the characters’ lives outside of prison, so there’s a taste of life outside the prison walls. “Orange” is as much about life in prison as it is about people trying to maintain normality in a very abnormal place.

I wish I did a run through of each episode individually, and tried to cover the little moments that can get lost during binge watching. That will be for another time. So for now, I will try and recap all the best little tidbits of this awesome first season:

The Theme Song: The big debate is whether Regina Spektor’s “You’ve Got Time” was fitting or annoying, or whether the show even needed opening credits at all. Most people were watching episodes in huge chunks so opening credits weren’t necessary. However, they just seem like a staple of television at this point, and they are always a good way to set the mood for the show, and maybe allow some time to recap to yourself what happened in the last episode, as we live in a world where “Previously On…” may be all but irrelevant.

Best Episode: I am tempted to say “Lesbian Request Denied” because of Sophia’s backstory (more on that to come) and the sheer weirdness that is Crazy Eyes. However, I am going to have to go with “The Chickening.” This episode showed the strength of the comedy side of this dramedy, as this episode involved a bunch of prisoners chasing after a mythical chicken they believe is full of drugs. But it also expands the history of the prison and made the relationships between certain prisoners even more complex (specifically that of mother and daughter pair Aleida and Daya Diaz). Then, it ends at a moment so surreal that it begs you to immediately watch the next episode, regardless of whether the chicken mystery will ever be solved.

Most Interesting Backstory: Sophia. It is so rare to see a transexual character on television (besides Mrs. Garrison on “South Park,” of course), so seeing one as a major player on “Orange is the New Black” was so refreshing. Sophia’s backstory explored the consequences of such a major decision in such a deep, funny, and sad way. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. It was this episode that assured me that “Orange is the New Black” is not just some female prison drama.

Craziest Revelation: Pennsatucky became a Jesus freak after murdering a nurse in an abortion clinic and inadvertently becoming a martyr. However, this was not an act of fundamentalism but rather simple craziness. Maybe you should be less judgmental of Piper’s lack of faith, Miss Five Abortions.

Greatest Character Redemption: “Crazy Eyes” Suzanne. Suzanne scared me in the first few episodes as much as she scared poor Piper. Yet, a funny thing happened towards the end of the season: Suzanne got a chance to really talk. Turns out she may be disturbed but she’s also an incredibly kind person. I am excited to see more of her next season. She seems to have her crazy eyes more open to what’s really going on in the prison than most people there.

Greatest Backwards Character Redemption: Healy. Healy was my favorite character in the beginning. He seemed like an honest guy who wanted nothing more than to help Piper and collect Corgi bobble heads. But it turns out he’s kind of a jerk. And he’s really bad at his job. Then in the last episode, he walks away as Piper is close to death. In a show filled with some very dangerous prisoners, the guard is the villain.

Funniest Moment: The inmates bond while watching “Good Luck Chuck.” It’s actually a very sweet scene about escapism and the healing power of laughter, all while watching a Dane Cook movie. But hey, I guess that was the best that Litchfield prison could do. Also, if I were in prison, I would probably be okay with any comedy that I could get.

Funniest Jewish Moment: Oh man, is Jenji Kohan good at these. The tiny detail that Yoga Jones hung a dreidel up backwards is funny. Yet, I will have to go with episode one for this one: Larry’s mother taking up his phone time with Piper with a string of neverending questions was perfect.

Funniest Irony: John Bennett is a war veteran and seemingly the most genuine guard at Litchfield. However, his amputated leg came not from war, but rather from an infection from a hot tub in Orlando. Does anyone else find this funny? Or am I just a bad person?

Pornstache: I believe Mendez deserves his own category. No matter how creepy he got he was always such a joy to watch. The moment that got me is when he did inspection while humming “Pomp and Circumstance.” No matter how pervy he got, maybe I could always find sympathy because he really did care about his job. But mainly it’s because Pablo Schreiber is such a fantastic actor. He made Mendez so consistently creepy. Here’s hoping he lands an Emmy next year.

Corruption Off!: “Orange” also covers the lives of those who run the prison, each one of them a little more corrupt than the last. Strangely, authority often seems more like the bad guy than the prisoners themselves. I think nearly everyone working there would let someone die (which happened) if it was in their best interest. Except for Luscheck (Matt Peters). He just always looks like he just wants to go to sleep.

Weirdest Sex Act: Big Boo. That screwdriver. No further explanation necessary.

Best Character with no lines: Big Boo’s dog. Because of course.

Saddest Moment: Miss Claudette (Michelle Hurst) is denied parole and the chance to be reunited with her long lost love. Some bad behavior lands her in the SHU. As she’s escorted down she says “I don’t care anymore.” In a show that humanizes all of the prisoners and offers many deserved moments of redemption, this moment was unexpected and heartbreaking.

Saddest Trombone:  Joe Caputo (Nick Sandow), who mainly seemed liked a spineless bureaucrat who couldn’t get up without a stick in his butt, finally showed some humanity when he offered Susan Fischer (Lauren Lapkus) a bouquet of flowers. She followed the nice gesture by introducing Joe to her boyfriend. Just when it seemed like he had a victory. Womp womp.

“Kill Bill”-iest Moment: Piper beating the ever living crap out of Pennsatucky in the snow.

What I want to see next season: How Red landed in prison, how Daya landed in prison, Healy’s backstory, Yoga’s backstory (even though she already described it), where the hell that chicken is

And finally…the moment my childhood ended: Laura Prepon. Naked in a shower. Goodbye, Donna.

*I know this sounds offensive, but its just so fitting for this show. Also, that’s how Terry Gross described her on Fresh Air. Terry Gross knows all.

Why Hollywood Hates Your Stupid Suburb

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Well, I guess everything nice can go a little bad, too.

While watching this past weekend’s excellent new “Mad Men” episode “Signal 30,” I realized something that I should have understood long ago: Hollywood loves to hate on suburbia. The offsprings of cities have come to represent boredom and loss of youth, amongst other things. They can be purgatory or hell, depending on how you look at it. Even when they do look nice, there is usually some joke behind it. In front of the camera,  a suburban town never looks like a purely good place to live.


Let’s start with this week’s “Mad Men” and go back and around. This episode found the spoiled heir Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser) going slowly insane in his new home in Cos Cob, Connecticut where, according to his wife Trudy (Alison “#AnniesBoobs” Brie), there are no bakeries or Greenbergs. As a Connecticut resident, I assure you that there are in fact an abundance of Greenbergs.

So this is how people in Connecticut are supposed to dress?

The biggest objection one might have to a bunch of white people being miserable in the suburbs is that they probably have a nice enough car and a big enough house to keep them happy forever. It is entirely possible even for even the privileged to have emotions. By taking Pete, who has just moved out of New York City, and placing him in a bedroom community, “Mad Men” revealed that the reason people grow weary of small town life is because nothing happens. Some people need the adrenaline of big city life, and not a backyard with a pool.

Perhaps the most well-known recent example of suburban angst is “American Beauty.” Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) is unhappy mainly because he has been rendered useless by both his family and his job. But he also seems to hate everything he owns, and these “things” are as useless to him as he is to everyone else. “American Beauty” does not suggest that every suburbanite is a miserable mess. The happiest and most together people in “American Beauty” is the gay couple. Perhaps that is because they have nothing hide, while everyone else seems to have so much to conceal. It is so easy to hide everything away behind a white picket fence. Filmmakers must think that city dwellers are less miserable because they are much more involved in the world they inhabit.

Even the portrayals of suburbia that seem positive are oozing with irony. The hilariously picture perfect Lumberton of “Blue Velvet” is just a front for violent perversion and creepy Roy Orbison impersonators. Same goes for the world of “Happiness,” where even the most stable family man can secretly be a child molester. In recent shows “Weeds” and “Cougar Town”* the orderly planned neighborhoods of Southern California and Florida are just made out of ticky tacky.

Symbolism

So maybe these examples aren’t saying that suburban life is totally terrible and you’re all spoiled rotten. The camera and the script are meant to capture hidden human truths, and a solid truth comes from the last line of “Some Like it Hot”: “Well, nobody’s perfect.” Everything that claims to be is just hiding some tragic flaws. Most suburbanites we see on the big and small screens are portrayed as prisoners: the men have been emasculated and the women have been tamed. Is this really what living in the country does to you, or is that just a part of getting old and having a family? That may be as difficult as asking whether the chicken, or the egg that needs you to pick them up at soccer practice, came first.

“Mad Men” did some good in making life outside of a metropolis seem half good: at least they acknowledged the fresh air and ample space. The most positive portrayals of the suburbs I have seen in film came from the eyes of teenagers living in very different eras: “American Graffiti” and “Dazed and Confused.” Maybe that is because teenagers are better at entertaining themselves. A life without commitment is definitely easiest. But then again, the 60s and 70s felt a lot more alive. There were still disc jockeys on the radio and small community theaters.

Big cities will always have that culture. Small towns are so prone to losing it. It is once that the uniqueness that makes us feel human has disappeared that suburban life becomes something negative. So Hollywood doesn’t necessarily hate your stupid suburb, it just hates how plain and monotonous small town America has seemed to become.

*Yes, I have seen “Cougar Town” and yes, it actually is not half bad.

I can’t get enough of this. There should be a spinoff sitcom called “Everybody Hates Pete.”