Tag Archives: Movie Review

TV Movie Review: Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever

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And students…here we see a breathtaking wide shot of product placement. Image via Lifetime

I promised the world that I would review Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever. Nobody asked me to, but still, I said what I meant, and I meant what I said, an elephant’s faithful 100%.

So here I am covering a series of firsts. This is not only the first TV movie I’ve ever reviewed, but one of the first Christmas movies I’ve ever reviewed in the history of this site. And to my knowledge, this is the first movie ever made based on an internet meme. Man, I hate that last sentence.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever is based off of the extremely popular Grumpy Cat meme. The cat in question suffers from feline dwarfism, which gives her the trademark grumpy look. Haha, cat diseases, good one. I wasn’t expecting Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever to be a good movie, which is exactly why I added it to my DVR in the first place. However, what I saw on the screen worries me for the future of bad movies.

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Movie Review: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1

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Mine’s bigger. Image via Mockingjay.net

As I settled into my seat for a late Sunday afternoon showing of Mockingjay Part 1, I looked at the crowd seated around me and realized how much power this franchise really has.

Young Adult is typically associated with “screeching sixteen-year-old girls.” That is essentially what the Fault In Our Stars screening I went to looked like. Instead the Mockingjay audience was mix of screaming sixteen-year-old girls, fathers bonding with their sons, couples on dates, and chatty older ladies. So, it is possible to make a blockbuster without pandering to the lowest common denominator.

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Reviewing Rex Reed’s Reviews: The Grand Budapest Hotel

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Pictured: Rex Reed’s headshot. Image via New York Times

Against all odds, Rex Reed has had a long, fabled career as the film critic at the New York Observer. During his tenure, Reed used his review of Oldboy to insult the entire nation of South Korea, and then used multiple reviews to make fun of Melissa McCarthy’s weight. A lot of film critics can barely get by. Reed lives in The Dakota. I hope he gets haunted by the ghost of Rosemary’s baby on a regular basis.

The only possible reason he still gets work is because controversy gets clicks. You should check out one of his reviews sometime. Actually, don’t do that. Instead, I will read one of his reviews, so you don’t have to, and break it down. I will now be the first person to review Rex Reed’s reviews. Please, help me turn this into a living. I want to earn enough money so I can buy Rex Reed’s place in The Dakota.

For the second installment of this series, let’s talk about how Rex Reed talks about The Grand Budapest Hotel:

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Movie Review: Rosewater

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The camcorder is mightier than the pen which is mightier than the sword. Image via Deadline

WARNING: This review contains spoilers for real life. Do not read this review if you are an idiot.

Hold the phone, are you telling me that they let a comedian direct a serious movie? What’s next? Dogs wearing suits to work? Civil debate between Democrats and Republicans? We can only hope.

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Movie Review: Interstellar

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“Hey, this isn’t where I parked my car!” Image via Hollywood Reporter

This review MIGHT contain some spoilers. I am not sure. I am very careful when it comes to revealing plot details in a film and I do my best to only reveal details that will create a better understanding of the film without ruining the possible intrigue of it. However, the rules of spoilers are a bit different when it comes to Nolan. So…POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT. Proceed if you’re not gonna be a jerk about it.

There are a lot of different sci-fi movies out there, but in truth, there are only two: those that want to be Star Wars, and those that want to be 2001: A Space Odyssey. Interstellar falls into the latter category. 2001 is probably the hardest to emulate, given that it starts with a bunch of dudes in ape suits playing with a skeleton and ends with a star baby floating in the sky. If anybody could at least come close to attempting this task, then it’s got to be Christopher Nolan. Or at least, that’s what you would think.

Unfortunately, Interstellar is a little bit like I thought it might be: a parody of a Nolan film more than a Nolan masterpiece because it has everything you would expect one of his films would have. Layers! Abandonment issues! Michael Caine! Husbands who won’t take off their wedding rings even though their wives are dead!

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Movie Review: Wish I Was Here

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Can you spot all the quirky things about this photo? Image via Hollywood Reporter

Zach Braff has only directed two films in the past ten years, yet he has somehow managed to piss everybody off. Maybe it’s time he gets out of Hollywood for a bit. Maybe he’s getting too much sun, and it’s time to go back and smell the fresh Turnpike air in New Jersey.

Braff’s latest film, Wish I Was Here, plays like a training montage of indie cliches. It’s like they just wanted to point their camera at a bunch of objects for 106 minutes and yell, “look how quirky this is! Do you feel the quirks yet? Do you?!” I could make a list of every little cliche, but that could fill up an entire review.

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Movie Review: Nightcrawler

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Into the mist. Image via Huffington Post

Nightcrawler is one of those films that feels like a miniature miracle: both brooding and action packed, it’s the kind of film that will unite both art house and mainstream audiences.

Nightcrawler serves mainly as a vehicle for Jake Gyllenhaal as well as a vehicle for a culture that is filled by vehicles. Here is a film that manages to be about so many things and is also one of the best thrillers I have seen in a long time. The spirit of Film Noir is strong with this one.

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Movie Review: Whiplash

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March to the beat of your own drum. Image via Entertainment Weekly

Let’s start this review with a new spin on a classic joke:

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

Get a cymbal thrown at your head first.

Just in case you were getting sick of watching people in movies succeed without actually putting much work in, Whiplash offers a solution. That solution, of course, is to watch somebody drum until their hands bleed and blister.

Whiplash has been buzzed about ever since it debuted at Sundance this past winter. It both lives up to and exceeds the hype. It is a film that manages to be both insult comedy and horror at the same time. While the horror part might seem like a stretch, I do feel afraid to listen to jazz now.

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Movie Review: Birdman

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It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Oh wait…it actually is a bird. Image via Indiewire

“This place smells like balls…how did we get here?”

If you were going into Birdman expecting to find the beginning of the next big franchise, then you might want to look elsewhere.

Birdman might be the strangest film of 2014. It is also one of the most ambitious; one that is chock full of ideas. A lot of it hits, and when it misses, it really couldn’t give a shit if you liked it or not. Birdman is the other big gimmick film of 2014 (the other being Boyhood). It needs the gimmick to survive, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The gimmick in question, a never ending tracking shot, helps the film transcend its concept, which is actually pretty great to begin with.

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Movie Review: Tusk

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Help! I’m stuck in a bad Kevin Smith movie! Image via Bloody Disgusting

Oh Kevin Smith, why hath thou foresaken us?

Tusk, the latest Kevin Smith joint, has received a lot of hype both for its weird premise and the weird way in which the story was first conceived. Like the scientific experiment seen onscreen, Tusk is equal parts bizarre and inexplicable. But most of all, it never justifies its reason for existence.

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