Pictured: Rex Reed’s headshot. Image via New York Times
Against all odds, Rex Reed has had a long, fabled career as the film critic at the New York Observer. During his tenure, Reed used his review of Oldboy to insult the entire nation of South Korea, and then used multiple reviews to make fun of Melissa McCarthy’s weight. A lot of film critics can barely get by. Reed lives in The Dakota. I hope he gets haunted by the ghost of Rosemary’s baby on a regular basis.
The only possible reason he still gets work is because controversy gets clicks. You should check out one of his reviews sometime. Actually, don’t do that. Instead, I will read one of his reviews, so you don’t have to, and break it down. I will now be the first person to review Rex Reed’s reviews. Please, help me turn this into a living. I want to earn enough money so I can buy Rex Reed’s place in The Dakota.
For the second installment of this series, let’s talk about how Rex Reed talks about Gone Girl:
Tyler Perry actually plays every single character in this film. Image via The Daily Beast
In an odd twist of fate, Tyler Perry, known best for donning drag and putting his name all over everything, is one of the stars of Gone Girl.
Now, I wouldn’t say that I dislike Tyler Perry’s work, I will just say that it is not for me. I will say, though, that I have always had a lot of respect for him. Anybody who refuses to take the traditional Hollywood route and instead builds a production empire in Atlanta deserves some praise for originality. To top it all off, he is fantastic in Gone Girl as an expert criminal defense lawyer. He delivers legal jargon in a way that is both entertaining and even kind of funny. He’s the kind of guy who will tell you exactly when you’r being an idiot. I sense an Oscar nomination on the horizon.
This is one of Tyler Perry’s only Hollywood roles (he also has a cameo in Star Trek). This got me thinking as to what would have happened if David Fincher surrendered some creative control to Mr. Perry. Here is a list of possible titles that we could have seen had Gone Girl been an actual Tyler Perry movie (Note: this list contains SPOILERS for Gone Girl…so if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ve been warned):
Did you skip this intro? Because SPOILER ALERT starting right now.
How does one review a film in which describing any single action from it has the potential to ruin the whole story? Easy, we start with a joke:
“The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.”
Gone Girl is basically what would happen if a Henny Youngman joke was turned into a psychological thriller. With its opening frame, it promises to crack this marriage thing open once and for all and boy, does it deliver on that promise.