Kumar Pallana: A Life In Quotes

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Yesterday, Kumar Pallana, perhaps my favorite accidental actor in Hollywood died at the age of 94.

Pallana was discovered by Wes Anderson and the Wilson brothers at the coffee shop in Dallas which he owned. They then gave him a small role in “Bottle Rocket.” Then he just kept popping up again and again until he became just as memorable a part of Anderson’s world as colorful wallpaper and Kinks songs.

I don’t know why Pallana was always so funny to me. Maybe because he would just pop up, say one barely audible line, and then disappear. Or maybe its because in “Rushmore” you can spot him in the background of one shot playing with a giant necklace, and he never says a word at all.

I remember him best as Pagoda in “The Royal Tenenbaums,” who was apparently an assassin in Calcutta at one point in time. In honor of Kumar Pallana, I have decided to compile all of my favorite lines of his from “The Royal Tenenbaums”:

“The black man ask her to be his wife.”

“There he is.”

“There he goes.”

“You son of a bitch!”

“Oh shit man!”

Here’s the obituary from his hometown paper.

Ten Years and Counting: How Kill Bill Changed My Life

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It all started with a shelf at Barnes & Noble. I had just turned twelve and had gift card money to spend. And when I had a Barnes & Noble gift card, I was a man on a mission.

I was browsing around the DVD section. I wasn’t normally one to take risks in life and buy something before I had seen it, but something told me I needed something new. Also, “Return of the King” wasn’t out yet. I stumbled upon a copy of “Kill Bill: Volume 1.” I heard it was good, the commercials were really cool, and Uma Thurman looked irresistibly sexy in her yellow jumpsuit. So I decided why not. That night, I popped it into the DVD player (remember those things?), and was never the same again.


“Kill Bill” was the start of my insatiable film journey. Every film lover has that one film that just clicks with them. Even after I found out that “Kill Bill” was paying homage (a.k.a. stealing) from so many other movies, it didn’t destroy my love for it. All it did was lead me down a path to find as many of the movies as possible connected to the Quentin Tarantino universe. From there, I found Scorsese, Kubrick, Leone, Ford, Kurosawa, “Kung Fu,” and of course “Shogun Assassin.”

I wanna know about those other four death lists.

This week marks the ten year anniversary of the release of “Kill: Volume 1.” This is the only anniversary I’m allowed to acknowledge of course, because it has a zero at the end of it. As these years have passed, I have had many more chances to view both parts, whether it be on DVD, HBO, or TNT*, and I’ve come to see that I love “Kill Bill” not just for what it inspired me to do, but for the film itself.

“Kill Bill” was meant to be one film, but it was split in half for running time and probably profitability, too.** However, I acknowledge both of them as two very separate films. I’ll mostly talk about Volume 1 here, as that’s the one celebrating the anniversary, but some discussion of Volume 2 will be absolutely necessary.

When I first watched “Kill Bill,” I had simply never seen anything like it. Forget about the fact that I was only 12 and “Kill Bill” earned its hard R. “Kill Bill” gave me a lot of mixed emotions. Before this, I figured that violence was something needed to be handled delicately. That was before I watched O-Ren Ishii chop off a man’s head followed by a gigantic geiser of blood. It was shocking, but I couldn’t stop laughing. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. Then, I found out that sometimes its okay to make violence funny. After all, it wasn’t like Tarantino was advocating mass beheading of any sort. No, this was just a different universe where dismemberment leads to insane amounts of blood. This was also the first time I realized that a film can be a fantasy even if it didn’t involve dragons.

“Kill Bill” was also the first revenge fantasy I ever watched, and for some reason the morality of revenge tales really stuck with me. It even lead to the script of my first student film which I am absolutely ashamed of and you can absolutely find it on my Facebook, watch it, and then point and laugh at me.

More importantly, “Kill Bill” skewed my idea of what a hero was. Before I ever laid eyes on Volume 1, I was obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. Not the books, of course, because that’s what ADD does to you. I was used to the “Once upon a time/and they lived happily ever after” form of storytelling. Then came along “Kill Bill,” where the villains were humanely despicable*** and the closest thing to a hero was a woman who could pluck somebody’s eye out. As wildly unrealistic as “Kill Bill” is, this feel’s a little bit closer to real life: sometimes, good people do bad things and bad people have motivations behind their actions. Have you looked at TV lately and maybe heard of a show called “Breaking Bad”?

Tarantino doesn’t make personal or biographical films, but everything he makes feels directly like a portal into his brain. “Kill Bill” was also one of the first times I ever realized the beauty of great dialogue, and that it could be used for other purposes besides exposition. Throughout both volumes, there are a tremendous amount of classic monologues and bits of dialogue that are among the best that Quentin has ever written. The best monologue of the two volumes is Bill’s speech about Superman. It is so deep and thoughtful and informs the film while incorporating popular culture so well, that it makes me think that Tarantino also would have been a very successful film critic. Additionally, Tarantino’s heroes might all be evil, but they are also all obsessed with movies and TV. Finally, the film fanatic gets a chance to be the hero.

Sure, there were other films before this that had all of the qualities that made “Kill Bill” so great. But this was my introduction to all of it, so it will always remain the best to me. I am not quite sure what I’d be doing today if not for “Kill Bill.” I’d be a completely different person. And cinema would be different, too. How often do we get characters as memorable as the Bud, Bill, Elle Driver, or The Bride anymore?  Not to mention, Volume 1 still has my favorite cliffhanger twist ending of all time. Take that, Shymalan.

Additional Notes

  • I will never forget how confused I was the first time we found out Beatrix Kiddo’s name and cut to that flashback where she’s in school but still a grown up. Quentin is weird, man.
  • Favorite line of dialogue: Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you in front of your daughter doesn’t mean that parading her around in front of me will inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamned thing you’ve done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is going to change that.
  • Which one of Tarantino’s muses is better: Uma Thurman or Christoph Waltz?
  • “Silly rabbit” “Trix are…” “For kids”
  • Greatest little touch: the little wooden water fountain bobbing up and down as O-Ren and Beatrix fight in the snow.
  • I’m pretty sure the House of Blue Leaves scene switched to black and white so it wouldn’t get an NC-17 rating. However, it also worked as an amazing artistic decision. Sometimes, censorship can do great things for art.
  • The fact that neither “Kill Bill” got nominated in major categories makes sense I guess (old farts), but how could they pass up Uma Thurman and David Carradine? 
  • Other acting MVPs: Everyone in the cast. Everyone. 
  • Need to make a serious note on Michael Parks. In an interview, Tarantino once said he thought that Parks was as good as Dustin Hoffman. I don’t think he’s being hyperbolic. It is too bad that Parks never rose above B-movie star. He plays two different characters here, the first is Sheriff Earl McGraw (“son number one…this tall drink of cocksucker ain’t dead”). Then in part two, he plays Esteban Vihaio in a performance that’s strange, funny, and ultimately too brief. 
  • Another note on Parks: Tarantino is known for giving a lot of former stars their big comeback roles. I would gladly trade every role that Travolta has had after “Pulp Fiction” for more movies starring Michael Parks. 

*TNT is the king of showing the most rewatchable movies of all time. They’re also the king of inexplicably awful censorship decisions.
**Don’t feel so groundbreaking now do you, “Twilight”?
***Yes, Bill’s a psycho. But he also had his heart broken. Even a man who loves to “travel around the world and kill people for vast sums of money” can fall in love.
****Footnote

Spoiler Review: Gravity

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Spoiler Review is a new series where I will review movies that require many spoilers in order to review them properly. This is my review of “Gravity.” This goes without saying: SPOILER ALERT.

Every time a movie comes out that uses 3D really well, like really really well, I never hesitate to call it the second coming of cinema. “Avatar.” “Hugo.” “Life of Pi.” Yes, I do strongly regret giving “Avatar” that much credit.

I don’t want to say “Gravity” has changed the game. It’s just responded to the tools of our time so well and it has done what many others only wished they could accomplish. More importantly, if you ever doubted that the wonder of the movies has been stolen by TV, then look at “Gravity,” and you’ll understand that it never went anywhere.

This spoiler review needed to exist. It is impossible to fully expound on “Gravity” without revealing many important twists and turns. Also, it is the kind of film enhanced by going in completely surprised. Once things start to explode, the story seems very straightforward. Yet, it also has such an uneasy and unpredictable edge to it. Maybe that’s because Cuaron decided to kill off one of Hollywood’s biggest stars halfway through and then let one person run the rest of the show. Cuaron pulled a similar move in “Children of Men.” I like when movies do this. Wait, that sounded bad. I’m not sadistic, but taking an event that would normally end a film and putting it so early on is always daring. Not only that, but it will always carry the film into another direction.

Clooney’s death also leads to one of the greatest fake outs in recent memory. Kowalski’s return elicited groans from the entire audience. However, it just didn’t sit well with me from the beginning. For one thing, he kicks out a window in outer space while she sits there with no helmet on. She covers her mouth and somehow is fine. This isn’t the season of “24″ with the nerve gas where everyone just covers their faces with a tissue and is somehow fine. “Gravity” can’t get every scientific detail right, but this one was too obvious.

I’m sure Cuaron knew what kind of reaction he’d get with that scene. Good job, it worked. And it just gave even more of a sense of how alone Stone was in space. “Gravity” is less about the fear of life on another planet and more about the fear that we are but a tiny speck in a vast, empty universe. As Frankenstein’s Monster once said: “alone…bad.”

After Kowalski dies, Stone is left to fend for herself. And oh what a beautiful performance Bullock gives. She takes what could have been a repetitive 91 minutes of screaming and floating and turns it into a one woman show. It’s a lot like James Franco’s performance in “127 Hours” as she displays so many altering personalities in such a short amount of time. The most beautiful moment in the entire film is not a shot of space, but rather the scene where Stone communicates with an unknown Chinese man. She hears his dogs bark and asks them to keep barking. Then she barks along with them. These two have so little common and don’t even speak the same language. She’s trying literally anything to keep herself motivated to survive.

Eventually, there is going to be a “Gravity” backlash, because that’s what happens with any movie this big. In fact, its already begun. People are going to compare it to other movies and identify a lack of originality. However, what I hope everyone will remember is that this is the anti-space space movie. “Gravity” is not against space, but rather it challenges our notions of what lies above. At the beginning, Kowalski plays an old western tune as he floats around. Space has always been labeled the final frontier, but what is rarely acknowledged is that it is so hard to conquer a frontier that we know so little about. Unlike many of its contemporaries, “Gravity” acknowledges the many dangers of space. Its opening title card makes note of how much the temperature fluctuates. A little bit later, Kessler Syndrome causes a chain of destruction that I am still trying to wrap my head around.

And then there is Bullock, who is constantly fighting the voices in her own head as she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to for a majority of the film. She constantly has to fight between holding on to any object that will keep her alive, and letting go of all of her earthly problems, which are inconsequential when the remains of a Russian satellite are hurtling right towards you. “Gravity” shows so much, but leaves much more to the imagination. The image of her driving through Illinois with the radio playing and no direction at all is a sad yet lovely one, enhanced by the fact that we never actually get to see it. With this, the film also plays against the idea of sci-fi films in which one tries to escape their earth forms in search of a better self. Ryan Stone was hired for the job because she’s a damn good technician, but I’m sure she also really needed an escape from her lonely life. Yet, orbiting above earth, all she finds is chaos.

Cuaron has proved himself a master of visual metaphors. That’s why I’ll let it slide every time Clooney says “I have a bad feeling about this,” because that is the worst foreshadowing possible. Instead, just marvel at the moment Ryan boards the ship and sheds her suit, her body curled up and looking very much like a baby in the womb. Most filmmakers would settle for a trite Jesus on the Cross reference, but Cuaron loves his baby imagery.

That was the first rebirth of Ryan Stone. The second comes at the end, as her module crashes on earth and against all odds, she survives. Watching her swim out of the ocean and then crawl onto land before slowly getting up was like watching an ancient creature evolve right before our eyes. It’s like the Star Baby from the end of “2001″ [Editor's Note: I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT STAR BABY IS] landed on earth. Ryan Stone might be born a new, but she is no blank slate. She has a hell of a story to tell. I picture the rest of her life will include telling people this amazing story of hers at fancy dinner parties, and then chiding them because they never got to experience it in IMAX 3D.

This is not a love story.

Movie Review: Gravity

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“In space, no one can hear you scream.”

This is now the famous tagline from “Alien,” and the basis for “Gravity.” “Gravity” hasn’t been advertised as a horror film, but it captures the fear of being alone in space better than most others that have tried way too hard to do so.

“Gravity” marks the long awaited return of Alfonso Cuaron who last directed “Children of Men,” which is still one of my favorite films of all time. Like “Children of Men,” there is no indication of when the camera starts and stops rolling. Cuaron is one for relentless action. Immersive might not even be a strong enough word to describe “Gravity.” I get the feeling that Cuaron just wanted us to float in space with him forever. There were multiple times where I felt short of breath. Apparently, you don’t need any dimensions beyond 3D to get all your senses this invested in a movie.


Plot details shouldn’t matter here much, and I want to keep it as surprising here for everyone who is reading this. The most important thing to know is that Sandra Bullock and George Clooney play two very attractive people in space. They’re assigned to fix a space ship. Things go haywire, communications breakdown, and suddenly they’re both free falling through space. If anybody remembers the scene in “Thank You For Smoking” where Rob Lowe breaks down of a movie set in space starring two attractive movie stars (one of them being Clooney), just know that “Gravity” is the exact opposite of that.

Before relying heavily on action scenes, “Gravity” is a space porn spectacle on level with “2001: A Space Odyssey.” The advent of 3D works so well here because it gives such an honest depiction of the vast scope of the universe. The long shots that Cuaron made so famous in “Children of Men” are a little stiller here, but there’s still the sense that he just wants to let the camera roll, and see what magic unfolds.

Unlike most film sets in space, “Gravity” is not about what life exists beyond our earth, but rather the lack thereof. When Matt Kowalski (Clooney) asks Ryan Stone (Bullock) what her favorite part about space is, without hesitation she replies “the silence.” Space is such a serene place, and that is why disaster makes it all the more frightening, because there’s nowhere to turn to when it hits the fan. It is also a fitting place for Ryan, who wants to be as far as she can from some of the tragic events of her own life.

Many have said that the script of “Gravity” is nothing special. While it is mostly very straightforward, it takes a lot more risks than people have been giving it credit for. One major event not even midway through completely alters the events of the film. In addition, its near lack of dialogue is a bold move which draws attention to how much of a visual driven media film is. The lack of dialogue prevents it from ever being bogged down by too many rules and too much exposition. Its never a terrible thing to make the viewers figure out some details on their own.

There are moments where it seems like “Gravity” is about to slip off into implausibility or worse yet, become “Vertical Limit” in space. However, it finds ways to stay out of that territory. “Gravity” is basically a two man show, with the two performers living up to the challenge. Bullock hands down steals the show, and proves that she can take nearly any kind of role. There’s a scene later in the film that involves her making a bunch of noises, including barking sounds, that’s she makes sad yet uplifting. I hate to make the “Alien” comparison again, but don’t be surprised if you see shades of Ripley in her performance.

When “Gravity” ended, I had that feeling I only get from truly great films. I felt a mix between exhilaration and profound shock that brought tears to my eyes. I could have sat there and watched it again. I don’t know how “Gravity” will hold up without the big screen and extra dimension, but I don’t want to worry about that just yet. While film itself is permanent, they are only in theaters for so long, and the experience is a fleeting one. “Gravity” is the reason why we go see movies in theaters.

Analog This: A Helpful Guide of Whether or Not You Should Keep Watching Homeland

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I swear…no more Skyping with terrorists.

Spoilers for the season three premiere of “Homeland” to come. Assume there will be spoilers for old episodes of “Homeland,” too.

A funny thing happened as “Homeland” was on its way to becoming TV’s best drama: it decided to go completely downhill. But “Homeland” wants you to know that they’re trying really hard to make a comeback. They let us know by devoting the entire “Previously on…” segment of the season three opener to what was essentially a highlight reel of the entire series.

I get it, “Homeland.” There was like two or three really awesome parts of last season. But Dana and her stupid boyfriend still murdered someone (before he got blown up) and Nicholas Brody Skyped with a terrorist on a Blackberry while standing next to the vice president. So I guess you could say things weren’t going too well for them.

So, should you keep watching, or not? The season three premiere showed some promise, but also some drawbacks. Here, I will present some highlights from the premiere, and its up to you to decide whether or not you should keep up with “Homeland.”

Chris Brody: He’s really tall now. And still has nothing valuable to add. I just want someone to give him a show where he reviews HD TVs.

Dana Brody: In retrospect, making Dana a murderer last season was pretty dumb. During the long gap in “Homeland” time, Dana attempted suicide. This is a more grounded, dark, and interesting territory for the character, and a good chance for actress Morgan Sayler to show off more of her acting potential. I just hope they don’t make much out of her sending the nude selfie. Like, that her potential new boyfriend is a Senator’s son and it causes another political scandal. It just seems too obvious.

Jess Brody: Sorry fans, but there was no Jess Brody nudity this time around. Just some deep and dark insight into her past and her family’s history with suicide and depression. Oh great, more interesting character insight. I blame the Puritans.

Jess’ Mom: Here’s a new character. Already not a big fan of her. She just seems to be there to tell Jess that she’s parenting all wrong. She reminds me of Claudette from “The Room.” That’s not a good thing.

Carrie’s Mental State: Carrie is still torn up about last year’s events at Langley. She blames herself, and I’m not sure if she really does or if that’s a way to make her cover story more convincing. Either way, she’s trying alternative medicines, but it doesn’t seem to be helping so far. She’s on trial for treason. I need to start the Carrie cry count, because this episode was a doozy.

Where in the World is Nicholas Brody?: Not sure. Surprisingly, he wasn’t in this episode at all. Maybe he’s with Saul Goodman in Nebraska. Or somebody sent him to Belize. Guys, I miss “Breaking Bad.”

Better Call Saul (Berenson): It’s really hard to complain about Mandy Patinkin. He’s like Jewish Santa Claus. He’s facing a lot more pressures now. As de facto head of Homeland Security, he has to deal with the possibility of a revoked charter, more terrorists, and the Nicholas Brody/Carrie bomb. Plus, Saul has personal issues to deal with. He’s the most sane character on the show, so I really hope he doesn’t fall into the vortex of insanity.

New Problems, New Possibilities: Maybe I’m alone here, but the most interesting conflicts on this show are the internal issues being dealt with at Langley. It feels more relevant given how, you know, we don’t have a functioning government right now. “Homeland” has some great characters, and I think it would be even better if we got to see them evolve this year. Instead of just chasing terrorists, which we’ve seen before, I’d love to see some personal struggles. How does someone keep an entire government agency, and themselves, together? But it’s a fine line to walk because…

…I don’t want a courtroom drama: “Homeland” runs into the possibility of slipping into implausibility and simply being a show about chasing terrorists. This was a problem it faced last year, which is why it nearly slipped into complete “24″ territory. However, I also don’t want to see it become just a courtroom drama. Too much of old white people (because, American politics) arguing over abstract political issues could get dull. So if “Homeland” is to get back on its feet, it needs to balance internal and external threats. Oh, and bring Nicholas Brody back.

Analog This: Breaking Bad- Goodbye, Mr. Blue

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This is a recap of episode 16 of season 5 of “Breaking Bad.” The episode is “Felina.” IT’S THE FINALE. 

Well.

Well, well, well then. That’s all I can think of saying at first. There’s a lot to say. 

First of all, this definitely isn’t the ending you expected. Nearly every prediction made by the Internet was wrong, proving that Reddit can’t write a TV show. Or at least not one as good as this. 

Continued After the Jump



“Breaking Bad” was a show that constantly built up upon itself and changed. The final episodes of “Breaking Bad” did not resemble anything seen in season one. However, the series finale, entitled “Felina,” combined the best of the early years of “Breaking Bad” with the best of the later years. 

Right after the main title credits had rolled, Walt had already gone from New Hampshire to New Mexico. It was wise not to show his whole trip, as that could have been an entire season of a completely different show. This current Walt is hard to define. All I know is that he definitely stole Lindsay Weir’s jacket. Anyway, this was the end of silent rage Walt from “Granite State” and the return of the man who takes action. 


Much of this episode was about emotional catharsis. The tense yet surprisingly funny showdown between Walt, Gretchen and Elliot was the light patch this show needed after weeks of tragedy. Elliot and Gretchen’s house is a paradise for people with too much money to spend. At first, they’re too distracted with their gadgets and small talk to realize that Walt has broken into their house and is standing just a few feet away from them. Perhaps this is the “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” Mexican standoff that was alluded to weeks ago. However, this showdown ends in a much less violent fashion. Walt gives them a sizable chunk of his fortune, and asks them to give it to Flynn once he turns 18. Gretchen and Elliot, who seem so shocked to be alive the entire time, accept Walt’s money. Last week, it seemed like Walt was returning to kill them for shaming him on Charlie Rose. But this week saw the return of a more level headed Walt. Instead, Walt got his revenge through fake snipers. Badger and Skinny Pete, the show’s best dynamic duo since season one, also showed the show’s overall view on humanity: you can make a person drop their moral code in an instant as long as you offer them enough money. Goodbye, you goofy Greek Chorus.

While “Breaking Bad” usually saves its flashbacks and flash forwards for beginnings and endings of episodes, “Felina” decided to plop a few right in the middle. One showed Jesse woodworking. The good thing about this week’s marathon on AMC was that it reminded me about Jesse’s past woodworking love. Then cut back to the present day, where prisoner Jesse looks like a mix between Jean Valjean and Viggo Mortensen in “The Road.” Following that, another flashback shows the fateful day that Hank asked Walt to come along with him to bust a meth lab. If only Walt had just said no to Hank. Throughout its five seasons, “Breaking Bad” liked to show that most of the bad things that happened to its characters were partly their own faults. Even a good guy like Hank wasn’t safe. No one was safe in this universe, any bullet could ricochet at any moment.  

The most exciting part of this finale is that it brought back genius Walt, who has been missing for a long time. At first, I thought Walt was still being an idiot. After all, Walt left his car in a Denny’s parking lot, went back to his own house, and then talked to his neighbor. But once he went to see Skyler, I realized that he was in the midst of a planned death wish. Skyler, shrouded in cigarette smoke, gives Walt five minutes to explain himself. After Walt gives her the coordinates for his buried money and bodies, Skyler expects to hear more lies about how this was all for his family. Instead, he finally admits that everything he did was “all for me.”  

“I’m surprised by this,” said no one.

Walt is good at a lot of things, but one of them is not being honest (and ironically, he also eventually became a pretty bad liar). It must have taken a lot for him to finally admit that the man who protects his family is driven by a lot more than love. When I heard that this show was “Mr. Chips becomes Scarface,” I assumed that meant that the main character would go out in a drug-riddled, ego-driven blaze of anti-glory. Instead, he tried to seek redemption in death, he died with his arms spread out because he wanted to die sacrificing himself for those he loved. He really wanted to convince himself of that. Maybe he could have done this if he hadn’t been so obsessed with building an empire.   


The saddest part about this episode was the moment that Walt watched Flynn return home from a distance. He could never talk to his own son again. And with that, he was off to seek revenge on the neo-Nazis. He went in with the cover of a new business deal that they weren’t buying into. While he never said this out loud, I believe Walt also wanted Jesse dead for making meth without him. However, once he saw what Jesse looked like, he realized that Jesse was a prisoner rather than a competitor. In that moment, Walt took pity on Jesse and perhaps saw a man that he knew so well, a man that he took under and raised like a son. Walt saved Jesse’s life, as he pulled the trigger on his brilliantly created trunk-gun device that brought down the entire gang. 

This scene was Jesse’s moment, and even Walt knew it. As Walt put a bullet in Uncle Jack’s head, Jesse brought down Todd in the most violent way imaginable. Once that happened, all I could feel was an immediate sigh of relief. “Breaking Bad” was always great at planting seeds, and the show was building up to that final showdown since Todd shot Drew Sharpe off of his motorcycle. 

It would have felt wrong if “Breaking Bad” concluded without a true showdown between Walt and Jesse. What was amazing about it was that they used so few words. Neither said anything about Brock or Jane. Instead, Walt hands Jesse a gun and asks Jesse to shoot him. Jesse notices that Walt has already been shot, but the real reason he lets Walt go is that he admits that he wants to die. Jesse got the same emotional catharsis out of that as the audience did from watching the neo-Nazis get mowed down. Another good name for this episode would have been “Confessions,” a title already taken by another episode this season. 


Walt and Jesse have fought on several occasions throughout the show’s run. Yet, they have always had a strong father-son relationship that perhaps neither of them could achieve with any of their real family members. I couldn’t tell if Jesse truly cared for Mr. White anymore. However, it was clear that Walt cared for Jesse. Like all of his other family members, Walt provided for Jesse even when it was a risk for him to do so. With Hank gone, Jesse is the closest thing to a hero left in this gritty world. He’s the only one who gets to leave the compound alive. With tears of joy in his eyes, he takes a car and drives right into “Need for Speed.” I don’t know if he’ll get to live the rest of his life and never get caught for his crimes. If he does, I have a feeling he’ll rescue Brock and then get a job that involves taking care of kids. He’s great at that.

After Jesse departs, Walt is left to hobble to his death. He is kept alive for a lot longer than he probably should have been for this thing called dramatic effect. The show’s final moments bring him back into a meth lab as Badfinger’s “Baby Blue” illuminates the scene. Walter White is now completely alone. His family and friends have either died or abandoned him. All he has left is his one friend, his baby, his true love: those little blue crystals. Call it an unhappy ending, but Walt got to die doing what he loved: cooking meth and tying up loose ends through murder. Some might interpret this as a hero’s death, but just remember all of the circumstances that led to this exact moment. Walt probably didn’t want to die, but he knew that he had to. He probably thought that a man who caused the death of his brother-in-law didn’t deserve to be alive. Plus, if he died in the lab, he gets to take credit for all of the meth Jesse cooked. Therefore, Jesse doesn’t get in trouble, and the Heisenberg legacy lives on. 

The ending of “Felina,” like that of such remarkable episodes before it like “Face Off,” was better than just about any movie. It was satisfying and answered a lot of questions while not struggling too hard to put a bow on every little thing. Here is a show that let its characters die memorably, but not necessarily with class or dignity. There were many faces to “Breaking Bad.” First, it was a dark comedy. Then, it was a tragedy. Then, it was a tale of karmic justice being served. 

Tonight, I was reminded why “Breaking Bad” ever began anyway. Walter White, a dying man, started cooking meth to feel alive again. In the process, he caused the death of hundreds and then himself. It is fitting that Walt was brought down by his own gun. The only man who could ever kill Walter White is Walter White.

Other “Breaking” Points

  • Not that any of them are reading this, but thank you to every single person involved in “Breaking Bad” for bringing this show into my life. “Breaking Bad” has become so big that it’s not “cool” to call this one of the best shows ever anymore. But I’ll just say it anyway because everyone knows its true. 
  • As always ladies and gentlemen…the sound of the wind. 
  • There are way too many pay phones in “Breaking Bad” for comfort. 
  • Until tonight, I almost forgot about how brilliant this show’s song choices could be.
  • I still don’t know what to call this new Walt. Post-Heisenberg? Hipster Walt? Unabomber seems fitting. 
  • I almost completely forgot about Lydia! The realization of her imminent death provided another cathartic sigh. I thought the closeup shot of her drink was just Vince Gilligan’s way of messing with us. No visual trickery this time. And a major PR blow to the Stevia industry.
  • Lesson learned Lydia: never use artificial sweeteners. 
  • Whether he’s tormenting Lydia and Todd or Gretchen and Elliot, Walt has a way of acting so nonchalant just moments before he’s about to try and completely ruin someone’s life. I think its a way to give himself control of the situation by putting his enemies’ off with his casualness. Now that is the stuff of a criminal mastermind. 
  • Todd’s ringtone is the song “Lydia the Tattooed Lady.” Points to Todd for still being creepy even after death. Points deducted from me for life for not realizing until now that Groucho Marx sings that song.
  • “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue” would have been another good song to end the series with.
  • Meanwhile, “Blue” by Eiffel 65 would have been the worst final song choice ever.
  • On “Talking Bad” (yes, I actually watch it), Vince Gilligan said that the ending was meant to be reminiscent of “The Searchers.” If you haven’t watched “The Searchers” yet, then you really should. 
  • Some unexpectedly great comic relief: Marie can’t tell the difference between Becky and Carol. Poor Carol!
  • Also, poor Huelle. 
  • Tonight’s funniest line: “Elliot, if you wanna go that way you’re gonna need a bigger knife.” 
  • Orchestral music strangely has the power to make things more intense. 
  • Did Walt really believe that it was all about him? Had he truly convinced himself? Or was he just playing Skyler once again in a really elaborate way? I vote that admitting his selfishness was his most selfless act in ages.
  • Jokes that “Breaking Bad” is a spinoff of “Friday Night Lights” > Jokes that “Breaking Bad” is a spinoff of “Malcolm in the Middle”
  • If you want some more insight into the decisions of Walt and Jesse tonight (and also throughout the whole season), watch “In Bruges” and pay close attention to Ralph Fiennes’ very strict code of life.
  • Uncle Jack just wants to die with a cigarette in his mouth.
  • Were Todd and Lydia on a date together? Was it business? Personal? Both? 
  • Walt was wearing the same green collared shirt that he also wore in the pilot.
  • This was most likely not deliberate, but that shot of Walt’s bloody hand slipping off the metal machine made me think of “King Kong” letting go and then tumbling down the Empire State Building. In both cases, the king falls and dies because they have no choice. 
  • The Stevia shot and the final shot resemble two very famous shots in “Taxi Driver.” I don’t know if it influenced “Felina” at all, but Walter White and Travis Bickle definitely have a lot in common. They’d definitely have a pretty interesting coffee date. 
I have had an amazing time watching these episodes and getting to write about them. I am sad that it all has to end now. Thank you so much to everyone who chose to read my recaps when there are so many others out there. Just because I never want to let this show go, I will be working on a full series recap soon. For now, onto the next show. 
“You know who else cut corners in life? Walter White. You know where he is now? DEAD.” 

Analog This: Breaking Bad- Granite State of Mind

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Let’s play a game: “Mad Men” or “Breaking Bad”?

This is a recap of episode 15 of season 5 of “Breaking Bad.” The episode is “Granite State.”

The more Walter White loses, the easier it is to see what is really underneath all of that rage and greed. Without his money, family, or meth empire, Walt is a lot of anger, and a lot of misguided pride. As per usual, Walt’s emotions are ruining his life.

“Granite State” is the first episode of this season to receive such a mixed reaction. But come on people, everyone should have been prepared for something nowhere near as good as “Ozymandias.” Even Vince Gilligan thinks that last week’s episode was the best one they ever did. “Granite State” is not the best episode of “Breaking Bad.” It has some odd pacing problems, and it definitely isn’t the one of a kind, gut-wrenching experience I’ve come to expect based on the past few episodes of “Breaking Bad.” This may have been a bridge episode, but it was a very important one. 

Continued After the Jump

“Granite State” is basically like the whole section of “Skyfall” where Bond goes to hang out with Albert Finney and those awesome black labs at his old home before Silva and his gang show up. The best part about a slower “Breaking Bad” this week was some much needed time to breath and reflect. Well, mostly. 

Tonight, Mr. Vacuum Man is finally revealed. He is played by Robert Forster, who you might know from “Jackie Brown” and “The Descendants.” It is an unexpected yet perfect casting choice. It turns out that Saul is also getting a new identity, leaving a huge gap in the Albuquerque market for lawyers with catchy commercials. The process for getting a new identity basically looked like getting a fake I.D., or at least the way “Freaks and Geeks” portrayed getting a fake I.D. Anyway, Saul got assigned to Nebraska. I’m going to try and assume that this isn’t subliminal advertising for Alexander Payne’s “Nebraska,” which Bob Odenkirk stars in later this year. 


While trying to avoid real prison, Walt finds himself in a prison cell under the vacuum store. Walt and Saul are forced to bunk together. This rooming assignment is temporary, and unfortunately not the setup for “Better Call Saul.” While Saul is ready to start his new life, Walt can’t stop looking back at his broken old one. Walt’s motivations are mixed, and I still feel like there’s something more he isn’t telling us. He wants revenge for Hank’s death, but he also wants to steal back all of the money he earned. Sadly, rescuing Jesse is not on his radar. Saul refuses to help and tells Walt that “it’s over.” Walt responds “it’s not over.” He tries his best to be intimidating, but he can barely finish a sentence between his cancer riddled coughs. There was a scene similar to this one in season three in which Walt was much more frightening. No matter how hard Walt tries, returning to that pure Heisenberg state will be tough.

Still, Walt tried his hardest. While isolated in his tiny, frozen, New Hampshire home, Walt brings out the old black Heisenberg hat. It’s treated like a villain putting on his disguise before terrorizing the city, but Walt is delusional enough to believe that he’s a hero putting on his mask. I’m honestly kind of surprised that this great moment wasn’t followed by Walt looking in a mirror and asking if anyone was talking to him. It’d make sense, as Walt can’t go too far, so he’s bound to go a little crazy from cabin fever. All he’s really got right now is a fireplace and a month’s worth of the Albuquerque newspaper. The only thing keeping him going is the thought of one day returning to his family. 


The New Hampshire scenes mainly serve to show just how far downhill Walt’s life has gone. Even with all of the evil, I am still convinced that Walt wants nothing but to be loved. Because he’s scared off or killed everyone who once loved him, he now has to resort to paying people $10,000 to hang out with him for just one hour. Even his wedding ring doesn’t want to stay put on his finger. But Walt, never able to let go of his past, ties it around his neck. Just like Frodo Baggins, Walt has a quest he is about to embark on. 

Back down in New Mexico, things were looking even darker. Without Walt around, Skyler was in danger with the law. The White house has become something of a local tourist attraction, so the bank took over the house and fenced it off (so bankers are the real villains here?). But of everyone, poor Jesse’s life is the worst. In some surprising craftiness, Jesse broke out of his handcuffs and nearly broke free in a doomed escape attempt. As Jesse can cook the purest meth since Heisenberg was in town, the Nazis couldn’t kill him for this. Instead, they decide to psychologically torture him, which leads to one of the most horrifying moments in the show’s history: Todd shoots Andrea right in front of Jesse. 

The one thing Walt and Jesse now have in common is that they’ve both lost everybody that they love. “Breaking Bad” didn’t necessarily need this scene. I was already convinced that Todd and family were psychos. But this will clearly lead to something important in the finale, as every little occurrence in the “Breaking Bad” universe always has a consequence.  


Heisendeer


I was most thrilled to see that this was a very important Todd episode, and one that really let Jesse Plemons chew the scenery. Todd is so desensitized towards violence that when he shoots Andrea right in the head, he tells her right before hand that it is “nothing personal.” When he watches Jesse describe his murder of the boy on the motorcycle in Jesse’s confession video, Todd smiles ever so slightly. Todd takes pride in his murders the way that Walt took so much pride in his meth. What makes Todd so scary is that he never shows any semblance of human emotion (except maybe for condescending empathy when giving Jesse ice cream). When he put on a nice shirt and pants and went to a coffee shop, he looked like he’d never really been around non-Nazi people before. To me, Todd is more like an alien who just landed on Earth and is trying to blend in by being non-distinct. 

Up in New Hampshire, Walt, as usual decided not to listen to somebody who was trying to help him. He leaves his Thoreau like cottage for the local bar. It’s a dark, sad empty bar. It’s like the bar in Nepal where Marion spends her time before Indiana comes back into her life in “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” or the bar where Ron Burgundy hangs out before the news team reassembles in “Anchorman.” Basically, it’s like any movie/TV bar where the main character waits for their imminent call to action. 

Yet, Walt doesn’t wait, because he literally makes the call. Walt’s phone call to Junior would have been more heartbreaking if Walt didn’t deserve that verbal beating from his son. A lot of darker dramas on television seem to have issues with their younger characters. Usually, they get reduced to one line or action that becomes a running joke. On “Homeland,” Chris Brody was all about his love of shiny things, and on “Breaking Bad,” all Walt Junior got was breakfast. But luckily the writers finally decided to elevate his character this season and RJ Mitte has really stepped up to the task. Luckily, the kid is smart enough to understand that getting $100,000 in the mail from a wanted man is probably a bad idea.


Todd Lydia meme Breaking Bad 5x15 Granite State
Coming Soon: Facing Backwards, a new romantic comedy!


With no motivation left, Walt turns himself into Albuquerque DEA and has himself a drink. That’s when he sees that Elliot and Gretchen Schwartz, our old friends from Gray Matter, on TV. The two of them are clearly on a PR campaign to distance themselves from Heisenberg, whose relationship with the company is making a dent in their stock values. This provides an enjoyable moment for Walt, until they basically discredit Walt from any of his contributions to their company. They basically had no choice to, but this moment burst Walt’s pride. Walt has no money, none of his empire, and now he can’t even say that he helped to start Gray Matter.

Walt’s history with Gray Matter is secretly one of the things that led to the creation of Heisenberg. The fact that his former friends basically stole all of his ideas and then cheated him out of the company is what led to his inner insecurity that made him want to build an empire. While Walt says that everything he did was for his family, he is in it just as much for his own ego. It seems like Walt wants to go back to Albuquerque and bring Gretchen and Elliot down along with the neo-Nazis, as a way to exorcise all of his demons. However, even Walt isn’t stupid enough to know that it is partly his fault that he missed out on the Gray Matter fortune. If Walt wants to spend the finale getting rid of all of his past mistakes, then the last one he might have to get rid of is himself.

Looking at “Granite State” by itself, I wish that this episode had come earlier this season. Peter Gould, who wrote and directed this episode, approached it as if he wanted to slow down a bit. However, there is only one episode left after this, so he had to keep the momentum going. Even the extended running time didn’t feel like quite enough. It would have been great if Gilligan and the crew had squeezed out a few more episodes of Walt living as a solitary mountain man. Maybe the series finale will provide us with some flashbacks. 

The series finale. Just one episode away. Now that’s weird to say.

Other “Breaking” Points

  • As Todd relives the memory of the freight train, the sound of a train can be heard behind him.
  • More wind sounds. This time in New Hampshire.
  • The scene in which Skyler hears all of the sounds and voices in her head is yet another brilliant bit of sound editing. Or mixing. I still don’t really know the difference. And I’m studying stuff like this in college.
  • There is a lot of heavy use of the color gray in this episode. The cloudy sky. The vacuum store. I should’ve known that this would have led the way to Gray Matter. 
  • Another technical/geeky note: the bar was so beautifully lit. I keep looking up images of it.
  • Saul’s luggage is blue. Maybe, like Lydia, he’s buying into the whole blue brand.
  • Saul’s afraid that he’s going to end up operating a Cinnabon in Omaha. Now that would be a great front for illegal activities. 
  • Seriously, check out Robert Forster’s Oscar nominated performance in “Jackie Brown.” If you do, you’ll also have the pleasure of watching Quentin Tarantino’s most underrated film. Also, Michael Bowen (a.k.a. Uncle Jack) is in it.
  • It’s funny how Walt has a knack for hanging out with criminals who are so professional and careful about not getting caught (Gus, Saul, Mike, Lydia) yet he never seems to learn anything from them. Todd might be the only other person who is as reckless as Walt is. Todd shoots Andrea right on her front porch. It’s like him and Walt both want to get caught, so they can take credit for their lifes’ works. 
  • Last week, Holly got kidnapped by her own father. This week, a gang of Nazis broke into her room. She’s going to need some serious therapy.
  • Vacuum man gives Walt a tour of his new house. He points out the stove and fire place. “Plus, you can cook on it,” he says. Probably not the kind of stuff Walt wishes he could be cooking, though.
  • Comic relief: Vacuum man isn’t much of a film buff. His DVD collection only includes two copies of “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium.” 
  • When someone receives chemotherapy, isn’t their hair supposed to fall out?
  • Flynn did a good job pulling off the Marty McFly look.
  • Before Walt tries to get his money back, I hope he watches this scene from “Fargo.” Unfortunately, “Breaking Bad” no longer has its “good guy” authority figure (Hank) around.
  • I almost forgot about Marie. She barely had any screen time and because of that, her story seemed kind of out of place. I’m assuming that it’ll pay off next week.
  • As I’ve said too many times before, “Breaking Bad” is about consequences. Well, it’s also about characters who think they can cheat the consequences of their actions. Lydia is always turning away from the evil in front of her, so as to act like she’s not a part of it even when she’s pulling all the strings. Lydia, I underestimated you. 
  • On that note, Walt also does something very similar. He lies not just to others, but also to himself. Here, he convinces himself that he lost all of the money he earned. In reality, he gave it all away to try to save someone that he couldn’t save. Now, by trying to get it back, he thinks he can undo the consequences of his mistake. 
Walter White Heisenberg hat gif Breaking Bad 515 Granite State Heisenberg Mode: ENGAGE! Imgur

Movie Review: Touchy Feely

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If you were to watch “Touchy Feely” for any one reason, it should be for Josh Pais’ performance as Paul, a dentist who’s basically dead inside, or “wan,” as his sister Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt) keeps describing him.

“Touchy Feely” is the latest film from Lynn Shelton, who is a secret weapon in the independent film world. Her loose and mainly unscripted films are refreshing in a world dominated by formula and safety. With “Touchy Feely,” Shelton feels like she is trying to move towards something more structured all while holding on to the characteristics that have defined her work as a filmmaker. Yet, there is a difficulty in balancing the two, and it is not achieved here.


This is not to say that there aren’t many strong parts to “Touchy Feely.” It’s premise is weird and original enough to make you want to watch it, and credit where credit is due for not ending the way you would expect it to end. Once again, Shelton focuses on a dysfunctional family that masks its dysfunction with awkward silences. Paul raises his daughter Jenny (Ellen Page) alone and gives her a job as his dental assistant, which clearly keeps her from achieving some of her actual dreams. There’s no indication of what happened to Paul’s wife, but he makes do with what he can contribute. Basically, what he can contribute is blank stares while Jenny makes him dinner.

Paul is in an inexplicable rut. When he goes to a new age therapist (a criminally underused Allison Janney) and is asked about his happy place, he says his back office, where he looks at x-rays in the dark. It’s perfectly telling of his character that the only way he can interact with people is when he’s nowhere near them. This is also why he hasn’t gotten a new patient in a long time, and he just doesn’t seem to care about lowering his patient demographic to below the age of 80.

Suddenly, Paul is ordained with a seemingly magic ability to heal the mouth pains of anyone he touches. This validation is enough to give Paul just the slightest of confidence boosts. Shelton never turns his ability into schlocky humor; the idea in itself is funny enough. At the same time that Paul finds new catharsis at his job, Abby finds troubles at her’s as she gains a sudden aversion to human skin. Neither Paul’s skill nor Abby’s conflict are explained, which makes the intrigue of “Touchy Feely” interesting enough. Some mysteries are more engaging when they’re left unexplained. Also, “Touchy Feely” is not trying to be a sci-fi allegory.

The one thing that “Touchy Feely” gets absolutely right is character consistency. As “Humpday” and “Your Sister’s Sister” showed, Lynn Shelton’s talent lies in putting a bunch of skilled actors in a room together and letting the camera run. Still, it’s odd how many endless debates there are here, yet still too much is left unspoken. It’s like this time she let the camera run, but with no end goal in mind.

The biggest problem the film faces is that it isn’t confrontational enough. For example, one emotional turning point is built up to using only images, not words. But because nothing is said, I got a sense that neither character knew why anyone was so upset. While less is usually more, too little is definitely not enough.

The most frustrating flaw in “Touchy Feely” is that the two main story lines basically never cross paths. Doesn’t it make sense that somebody with healing powers might at least try to help somebody going through an odd physical pain? Instead, Ron Livingston is used to try and remedy DeWitt’s story. I still cannot figure out why he was there at all, and why he wasn’t spending his screen time complaining about his boss. Because nothing feels connected, in the end it feels like nothing that was just witnessed matters at all.

The best thing I can say about “Touchy Feely” is that in the end, Lynn Shelton looks like a true cinematic director. Every shot has a purpose, and every shot is framed just right. She shows the sides of Seattle that are never seen; the Space Needle is just a speck in the background at one point. The film ends with a shot that’s warm, friendly, and perfectly framed. It’s great to see an indie movie that doesn’t resort to a cut to black. However, the final shot feels like it belongs in a different movie, one that is more complete and didn’t try and just skip around from plot point to plot point. “Touchy Feely” would have benefitted from bolder and clearer character choices. I think what I am really trying to say is that “Touchy Feely” needed more Allison Janney.

Breaking Bad: Analog This- The Wizard of Ozymandias

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This is a recap of episode 14 of season 5 of “Breaking Bad.” The episode is “Ozymandias.”

Fuck.

That would have been an apt title for tonight’s episode. And just as poetic. It was one of the last things that Hank ever said (“My name is ASAC Schrader. And you can go fuck yourself.”) and also the one thing I couldn’t stop saying over and over again throughout “Ozymandias.” I think I needed this little mantra. It reminded me of how cathartic cursing can be.

I know that I am always talking about how amazing “Breaking Bad” is every week but I feel like up to this point, I was being a tad hyperbolic. “Ozymandias” may be the show’s finest hour. If it is not the absolute best, then it was the show’s most horrifying and emotionally devastating. Appropriately, many critics are already comparing this episode to a horror movie. This episode was a horror western directed by Rian Johnson, who’s proved himself to be excellent at mixing and matching genres through the likes of “Brick” and “Looper.”


“Ozymandias” begins with a flashback to season one. Remember that season, when Jesse was still calling everyone a bitch and Walt still couldn’t figure out how to lie properly to his wife? He couldn’t even figure out whether to say “a bug” or “a stick” up his butt as he formulated his excuse for being home late from his first cook. While Walt has changed a lot since season one, I noticed a few habits that he hasn’t quite been able to shake off. For one, he still always tries to act like things are going just fine even when they are going horribly, especially when it comes to his family. Whenever Walt is around his family, it’s as if he immediately starts to believe his own lies.

Hi, can I have an Emmy please?

This flashback was absolutely perfect here, as this little plot of land has proved to be one of the most important locations in the “Breaking Bad” mythology. It is also the most haunting location as well. It will forever be known as the land where Hank Schrader died. I knew this moment was coming, but I didn’t think it would be quite this tough to get through. In the moments before his death, Hank showed off the best of his personality. He wouldn’t even sacrifice his principles as he was offered a chance to live. Meanwhile, Walt literally tried to give up everything he had for a battle he couldn’t win. Even Hank knew that Todd’s uncle had his mind made up from the start. For once, Walt found himself in a situation that he couldn’t talk his way out of, just as Hank found himself in a shootout that he couldn’t shoot his way out of.

So, Hank gets shot, the gunfire echoes, and his body is buried. And the show just moves on from there. This might be a tragic moment, but “Breaking Bad” doesn’t have time to stand around and mourn. Get used to it. Nevertheless, I was a wreck. In just a few seconds, the show completely changed course once again.

Hank’s death hit Walt the hardest. H just lay in the dirt with his mouth agape like some character out of Pac-Man (I don’t know man, it just made sense to me). Then, just as it seems like this show couldn’t gut punch us any further, Jesse looked like he was the next chicken out to roost. Found hiding under Walt’s car, Jesse looks like a dog hiding away because he knows his death is near, to bring back the rabid dog metaphor. Jesse is spared by Todd, who believes that Jesse has information that they could use. And by “information they could use” he really means “the ability to cook meth.” Todd showed off many facets of his sociopathy tonight. First, he told Walt “sorry for your loss” regarding Hank, and then he tied Jesse to a rope and made him cook meth for him. As Todd, Jesse Plemons is one of the few actors who can play both a nice teenager and a murderous psychopath, sometimes separately, and sometimes at the exact same time.

“Ozymandias” might have secretly been the final episode of “Breaking Bad,” as so many loose ends were tied up tonight. It was revealed that Walt’s fortune amounts to $80 million, but he would only be getting $11 million of that. Then, just to spite Jesse, Walt told him that he watched Jane die and did nothing. The look on Aaron Paul’s face as Walt told him that was the definition of heartbreak.

Anyone looking for pants?

This was also the first time that Junior and Holly got involved in the family business. Skyler had no choice but to tell Junior the truth, as it was the only way to get Marie back on her side. Junior obviously doesn’t take to the news too kindly, but he oddly takes out more of his anger on his mother. Poor Skyler. But then again, she’s just as evil too. In maybe the most poetic thing that Junior has ever said, he points out to Skyler that by not doing anything, she is in effect as evil as Walt. That seems to be a big theme on this show, and it even goes back to the airplane and teddy bear of season two: by not stopping something from happening, you are eventually at fault for when it does happen. Basically, it is impossible to stop most things, and it is always your fault.

Poor Junior, he’s basically messed up for life now. The kid won’t even put on his seatbelt, he doesn’t even feel like he’s safe anyway. Then, the episode piles on another devastating and violent surprise as Junior and Skyler come back to find Walt still at the house. Skyler pulls a knife on him and ends up stabbing his hand, “Shining” style. The more Walt tries to protect his family, the more he harms them. “We’re a family,” Walt says, as his last shred of dignity fades away. I thought the Bluths were TV’s most dysfunctional family, but clearly this family could use a better publicist as well.

For the rest of the episode, Walt’s actions border on the surreal and bizarre. Any of them could be interpreted as either beneficial or harmful. In the third worst thing he’s done on the show, Walt kidnaps his own daughter. This seemed like the desperate act of an extremely sad man. Holly is the blank slate and therefore the only family member left that can’t hate him. That is, until she utters “mama” right in his face. Then she says it a few more times seemingly just to rub it in. Walt then talks to Skyler on the phone, who is on the other end as a bunch of cops stand behind her and wait to track Walt’s phone. Walt then confesses every crime to her, which would seem dumb if Walt wasn’t smart enough to know that there are cops on the other line. At first, his confessions seemed like pure ego. But then, it seemed like one last attempt to save Skyler, as he takes full responsibility for all of his actions. This was pretty fantastic to see; Walt isn’t someone who usually holds himself accountable for the crimes he’s committed. He even takes responsibility for Hank’s death here. Maybe he sees himself as responsible since he couldn’t stop the murder, or because it’s a way to keep the neo-Nazis from getting any more pissed off at Walt and his family.

So Walt goes and brings Holly to a nearby fire station, where he leaves a note on her which I couldn’t read, but hopefully listed her return address. Then Walt follows the advice of the song that plays earlier that episode: “I have no place to go…guess I’ll have to roam.” So a solemn Walt is picked up at the cemetery by the man who is also known for selling vacuums. Walt’s reflection in the side mirror disappears further and further away. The Walt we have known for so many years is now gone. So is Heisenberg. What we are about to get is some kind of post-Heisenberg who is fueled by revenge.

And so ends “Ozymandias,” an episode that felt like a collection of horror shorts which built upon one another. Rarely did I think television could be this stressful until I watched this episode, but Vince Gilligan has always demanded that the audience became a part of the characters’ world in order to feel the pain of it. There are only two episodes left of “Breaking Bad.” Had it ended tonight, I would have been both baffled and satisfied. I speak for a lot of people when I say that my best guesses for the end still tell me nothing.

Other “Breaking” Points

  • Yes, the title of the episode comes from a poem. Yes, it means something. Look it up.
  • Smartly, Rian Johnson (I’ll just say him because I’m not sure who’s responsible for credits. The editor?) decided not to put the credits over the scene of Hank’s death. Instead, the credits don’t come on until at least 25 minutes into the episode (including commercials). It’s a bold move that works out well. Like “The Departed,” whose credits didn’t start until at least 18 minutes in.
  • Rian Johnson also directed the season three episode “Fly.” That was the episode where I thought Walt was on the verge to telling Jesse the truth about Jane. I guess Johnson felt he had some unfinished business. 
  • There’s a great vertigo shot in this episode.
  • Some funny things about the early flashback: The knives are visible in front of Skyler; Skyler tells Walt to pick up a pizza which may or may not end up on the roof at some point. Dipping sticks, Skyler. 
  • Usually, Hank is as good at shooting his way out of a situation as Walt is at talking his way out of one. In the show’s opening minutes, both men failed at their apparent strengths.
  • RIP Hank. Seriously. It’s amazing to see how that character went from a side character who seemed like a dumb jock to one of the show’s smartest and most intelligent character. Keep brewin’ up there, Agent Schrader. 
  • Also, RIP Gomey. Your comic relief did not go in vain. 
  • Every time Walt is in a weak position, his glasses are always sitting lower on the bridge of his nose. 
  • Marie: “Oh you know…this and that.” Sounds like Betsy Brandt is auditioning for the new “Fargo”-based TV show.
  • Now that all of the Skyler hatred from the past few years has mostly gone away, I think it’s fair to say that Anna Gunn is amazing at what she does. 
  • While in the lab, Jesse’s face looked like Gus’ when he had half of his face blown off. 
  • The image of Walt lying on the ground also reminded me of an image from “Once Upon a Time in the West.” 
  • After tonight’s episode, I’m convinced that Todd eats people. Among other things.

Can’t We All Just Get Along: Texting in Theaters

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Nobody knows how to act out emotions like a stock photo model.

Can’t We All Just Get Along is a new segment in which I take a hot button issue in the entertainment world and try my best to see both sides through, and then try even harder to pick a side. 

Let’s face it: the traditional film viewing experience is in trouble. Who wants to pay $15 to be quiet in a dark room with strangers for two plus hours when you could be sitting at home in your underwear sending SnapChats of Instagrams of your cats reenacting the opening of “Raiders of the Lost Ark”?

Ever since cell phones became readily available for the masses, it has been difficult to power them down. This has been an especially big problem for movie theaters, an environment that requires absolute silence (besides laughs or screams) and attention. Yet, people take no issue sending out that text or finishing that level of Candy Crush that just can’t wait. People have no problem turning off their phones on an airplane, but I guess the threat of crashing is scarier than the threat of not being able to hear what Brad Pitt just said.
It seems that this whole problem pops in and out of the news every few weeks, but this week there was an especially interesting development. At a screening at the Toronto International Film Festival earlier this week, blogger Alex Billington called 911 on a man who was on his phone during a movie, because he was afraid that the man might be pirating the movie. However, no such pirating was happening, as the man was just sending a text message. Now, this story is a little extreme, and the idea of somebody making a citizens arrest in a movie theater is ripe for parody. Come on Alex, couldn’t you have just checked whether he was recording or not?

Yes, these actions were rash. But I’m happy to see that this is still an issue. People have varying opinions on this, but few things can be more distracting during a movie than a bright screen suddenly going off in your face. Even if it isn’t making any noise, the light itself is enough to immediately take you out of the world you’re trying to immerse yourself into. I like to turn off my phone once a movie starts. I’ll even turn it off before the trailers start because even the trailers can be fun to watch. Let me clarify: I do not think I am better than anyone else because I do this. I’ll admit that I will not hesitate to answer a text when watching a movie at home. Likewise, the people who text during movies probably aren’t trying to ruin your viewing experience. We’ve become so spoiled with technology that it’s easy to forget the beauty of the single screen experience.

It seems that no matter how many signs and warnings a theater puts up, it is impossible to enforce the “No Cell Phones” rule. Of the few live theater shows I’ve been to in the past few years on and off Broadway, I’ve never seen a single person turn on their phone during the performance. How often do you even hear about disturbances with phones in live theater? Maybe it’s because at live theater, the entertainment is actually in the flesh right in front of you. Meanwhile, none of the shiny faces on screen are present to judge you when you send a text message.* Ever since the advent of the Nickelodeons, movie theaters have always been an experience made for the largest possible audience. While movie tickets are not cheap today, they’re still much cheaper than a Broadway show. If you’re paying over $100 for a ticket, then why would you want to distract yourself from what you paid for?

Something that we all tend to forget is that keeping your phone on during a movie ruins the true purpose of going to see a movie in theaters: escapism. Every movie, even the most socially aware drama, is a form of escapism. Being at home can be a distraction. A theater should be the perfect setting, a portal, into the world that any given movie is trying to send you into. Once you’re distracted by the outside world, the purpose of being there in the first place completely disappears.

I believe that the way to stop this epidemic (I know, I know, there are real problems in the world) is to transform the movie theater experience. Tapping your neighbor on the shoulder doesn’t help much, and it creates another distraction entirely. Currently, the mainstream movie theater is something of a homogenized place. Growing up in the suburbs, I was used to movie theaters that resembled shopping malls rather than outlets for art and entertainment. These huge, plain places aim to please everyone and like most things that try to please everyone ultimately please nobody. In this regard, the film industry could learn something from TV, which is currently kicking film’s butt in terms of quality.

Nowadays, there seems to be both a TV show and a network for every niche. So, there should also be different types of movie theater experiences to match different people’s wants and desires. Some people have called for separate theaters that allows cell phones and laptops in, so people who want to multitask can bond in distraction. This kind of sounds like a way to turn a movie theater into a living room, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. A texting-only theater will allow people who just want to watch the movie to then have their own place, so long as these rules could actually be enforced.

The theater experience should be even more unique and focused in than just this. Midnight screenings allow space for people to actively participate in movies they love. Places like the Alamo Drafthouse flourish because they focus so much on making the moviegoing experience more pleasant, from prohibiting talking and texting to providing beer and food. Everybody is so compartmentalized nowadays, why not allow places where people can enjoy a movie with strangers that want to be in the same compartment as them?

I don’t truly know what the right answer is here. Until my movie theater utopia comes about**, just turn off your phone. That’s all. You’ll be amazed by how good it feels to be in a different world uninterrupted for two hours, a world that doesn’t involve texts from your friend Chuck about the pre-game later tonight.

PS. Just a thought for people who complain about food prices at theaters: you don’t have to buy the food, no matter how tempting the popcorn smells. Do as I was taught to do as a young Jewish child: microwave popcorn before you go into the movie, and then hide the bag in your sister’s purse.

*Then again, this doesn’t stop people from taking out their phones at Comedy Clubs. #FreeMichaelRichards

**Also in this utopian society: dog waiters, ninja congressmen