Tag Archives: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Movie Review: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

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“And that’s why you always leave a note!” Image via Digital Spy

Oh Spider-Man, why do you always play with my emotions like this?

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is a movie that didn’t need to exist, given that a perfect Spider-Man sequel already exists. Yet, here it is. While it is here, it might as well be loud, proud, and filled with search engine product placement.

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The Biggest Movies of Summer 2014 According to Your Grandparents

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Your grandparents are here right now eating lunch. They have great pastrami on rye. Also, this place was on the Guy Fieri Program once.

Summer is fast approaching and you are just a few weeks away from being able to burn all of your textbooks for firewood.

You will probably have a lot of free time this summer, and a lot of that time might be spent seeing relatives that you haven’t seen in a while. Perhaps those people are your grandparents, who might be heading up north to escape Florida. The humidity is no good for them.

Everybody knows that nothing brings families together like a day at the movies. Everybody also knows that nobody gets a movie title wrong like your grandparents do. They happen to come up with some creative titles that usually make absolutely no sense at all. Yet, they are often more creative than anything that most writers could come up with. One time, my grandpa referred to The Lincoln Lawyer as The Cadillac Man. In my eyes, that is pure gold.

In honor of all of the grandparents out there who just want to spend the day at the picture house, I have decided to breach the gap between two generations by providing what I hope is an accurate translation guide to accompany the one I came up with for holiday movies. Here is a helpful guide to the big movies of the summer, according to your grandparents:

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Four Least Anticipated Summer Movies

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Possibly a metaphor for the latter part of Adam Sandler’s career. Image via Uproxx

They can’t all be good.

It is easy to forget that every year, with all of the anticipation that the summer blockbuster season brings, a lot of movies are released that nobody asked for. Usually, the end of August and the entirety of September are reserved for the worst bombs of summer that Hollywood wanted to hide from you. However, some of those sneak into June and July. After all, it just wouldn’t be summer without a subpar sequel and an Adam Sandler movie.

Here are the four movies coming out this summer that I want to see the least. I chose four because numbers are irrelevant. Also, instead of the individual trailers, I have decided to accompany each movie with an SNL skit that at least one of the actors from said movie was in. It is partly because you can find the trailers on your own, and partly because I want to remind you that I still love Adam Sandler:

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